Thursday, April 28, 2016
Documenting is a useful motivation tool
The goal can only be being able to practise alone. No matter what one wants to learn it's helpful to learn about motivation. There are general tips. Yet everybody has own motivation triggers.
To document the practise is rather a general tool. It's a very good tool.
Perhaps this was the trigger today that made me step on the mat. I wanted to have something to write about my practise.
It was not easy to start. When I woke up, my back ached already. It was difficult to make the bed. Yet the physio therapist recommended not to do relieving postures. Somehow I managed it to make the bed. The more I move the better I feel.
When I practise at home I sprinkle some water in my face and I brush my teeth before I step on the mat. This shall be enough. The shorter the preparations are, the better. There are a lot of activities that can postpone the practise.
And breakfast comes after the practise. This has also something to do with discipline. I get up a bit later these days. This is I'm hungry already. To practise earlier would be good. Yet, whenever I get up, breakfast comes after the practise. As soon as I'm on my mat it's forgotten that I wanted to eat something.
My only goal can be to get back to a regular practise, I repeat myself, but this is it. I trust that strength and flexibility will return. I got so weak that I cannot hold chaturanga dandasana. Even such poses like halasana became difficult. Yet when I stay in the poses, when I breathe evenly, I can get deeper and deeper and the discomfort fades away. I have lost the performance of the asanas, but I use techniques that help me to get back: It's stretching first, before moving into an asana. It's the even breath. It's engaging the muscles, also mula bandha. It's also to enjoy the asanas.
Tomorrow is Friday and I'll do primary. As said: to be on the mat for 90 min is everything. My practise is bumpy, inelegant, heavy, painful, weak. To leave this level behind me a daily practise is supportive.
One cannot separate the goal and the path to that goal. Yet often I observed the tendency that yoginis focus on the outcome. If people are stopped at an asana, they focus on it, of course. I've been there. One gets obsessed only to be allowed to do the next pose.
I remember when I was told: You come up already. (From urdhva dhanurasana). It was more than a feed-back. It was pushy, impatient.
Fact was I was not able to come up. And I didn't care so much. I was happy that I got so close and I trusted that in a few months it will happen. I had not the inner pressure to nail it. But it's difficult to say this as it allows interpretations of not being committed enough and so on.
I learned to focus on the process. The process teaches me a lot. It helps me to understand the asanas. In my case now with this injured SI joint nothing else is possible. It's difficult enough to practise.
To fly high again comes later.
In a few days I'll celebrate my 57th birthday.
At this age my priorities are not to nail one single asana, I want to keep practicing without injuries. It shall be fun, that is I also want some variety in my practice. This is possible. But it's not possible if there is no room in classes for a tiny bit of individuality and flexibility.