Thursday, February 18, 2016

Two and a half hours


Yesterday my back hurt that awfully that I went to the family doctor. I had in mind that he could give me a prescription of the medicine that I got in 2012 in hospital when I had this lumbago. I got this prescription and tonight I'll take it. I have high hopes. Perhaps a miracle can happen twice. Last time when I took this medicine, I slept a few hours. When I woke up I was healed.
I shouldn't have looked up this medicine. It has too many side effects. This is why doctors don't recommend it anymore. However. I'll take it one more time.

I took the report of the hospital to the doctor. My back was x-rayed in hospital. More or less everything was and is OK. This was also the result of the orthopedist after his examination. This is why many experts think back pain has psychological reasons. One cannot find an anatomical reason for the pain, but the pain is experienced. I was asked: Have you issues? Stress? But I feel excellent. I was never happier with my life than now. (Except that I have this back pain.)

In the report of the hospital stood that I practice two and a half hours yoga every day. I remember that I had said it, but I had regretted it at once. People outside of the Ashtanga community don't understand it. And I don't understand it anymore neither. I felt even a bit embarrassed that I had told this. I felt as if I was doing something that I kept better as a secret. Two and a half hours of yoga practice 6 times a week over a period of several years is too much. Even I see it now.

It's the second time in my life that I practice so long over a long period of time (2 years). Within that long time frame I haven't mastered any of the asana that I should  learn. It's a wrong strategy to practice the difficult asanas at the end of a practice, that is after 2 hours. I'm sure that if I had practiced laghu vajrasana in the beginning, if I had repeated it, if I had done some special strength training for the legs I would be able to perform this asana. But I did primary, primary, primary before performing this asana once or twice. I was too exhausted to do more. More more more...... this is a wrong path. To focus on the essential exercises is it.
A young male body might react differently. But I am soon 57.

I also remember that despite this long practice I always wanted to do an extra session at home to focus on the asanas that I was not able to do. I know I wouldn't improve them a lot in class because I was too exhausted at the end of my practice in the morning. But I felt also too exhausted to do another session at home. I was in a dead end road. I knew it. But I ignored my feelings till I couldn't ignore them anymore.

Less is more. 
Work smarter than harder is my motto. This is true also for Ashtanga yoga. I'm forced now to apply my motto also on the mat. 

Tradition is almost a holy word in the Ashtanga yoga community. But in the meantime life went on and what was considered as good is proofed wrong. We arrived in another century.

This overlong practices exhausted my body till it answered: The answer is pain.

It is as if I got a message: It was too much, baby.
My body was no more able to stay balanced. The SI joint got blocked. The muscles around it started to cramp.

My big fear is that this pain will never stop. My doctor gave me hope.
Next week the physiotherapy starts. I'll have 6 sessions.

To undo the effects of the last years might take some time.

I try to live as always. It's amazing how much energy I have.

The picture is taken a few days ago. Sometimes wonderful practices are possible. What a joy.



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