Thursday, May 03, 2012


This morning I was in hospital.
I had so much back pain, that I couldn't stand it anymore. Every movement hurt. It started yesterday. My yoga practice, a modest primary wasn't good and I felt my back. Then the discomfort disappeared. In the afternoon I slept and then it got worse. In the evening the discomfort turned into pain, and I was no more sure how to make it through the night. This was nothing in comparison to this morning. Each time when I moved a sound of pain slipped out of my mouth. "It's worse than yesterday", E commented.

I thought it's renal colic as I don't drink enough. First I thought I go to my doctor. The pain got worse and worse. I was recommeded to go to a hospital. This is what I did. I couldn't wait till my doctor would open his doors at 9. What could he do? I called a taxi and the driver drove me to the hospital Schwabing to the emergency ward. This was indeed the first time that I did this.

There I could lie down on a rolling bed. Soon a group of people stood around me and one of them, one of the doctors probably knocked hard on my back. Then it was quickly clear it couldn't be the kidney as they are higher. The urine test must have said the same. They rolled me to the surgery. Here they X-rayed me. I had to put off all my clothes for that. Every movement hurt, nevertheless I realized the eyes of the young man and the eyes of the experienced nurse on my body. Yeah, this is part of their job to see people naked, I thought. At least they see a beautiful one, this time, a slim, exercised body. I can imagine a nicer setting for being naked. Then they brought be back to the surgery department. I had to wait and I slept. They had given me a pain killer already and I had the feeling it all got better. It was almost lunch when we got the results. The result was "no result". I had pulled my back muscles, probably during yoga. The overweight doctor knew at once that this was the cause. I'm insolent, he was very nice, but his life style I could see from first sight will not become mine, too. First I didn't like to say that I practice yoga. It makes no sense not to say the truth.

In the conversation later the one woman told me that I can go on with yoga. I shall not think so much. A huge stone fell off my heart.
Nevertheless, it can be that one day I'll have to stop with yoga. The more I'll enjoy every day where I can do this practice. It will be a huge exercise of letting go. I also know now that I'll focus more on the mental aspects of the practice like focusing on the breath. The pain was so awful, my breath also reflected this. I could scarcely breathe.

Time for another pain killer.
And a hot bath.


Jessica Young said...

Maybe you can augment your ashtanga practice with one that is more restorative or gentle, that will allow your muscles to heal. Listening to your body is really important, as it's trying to communicate something important to you right now. How can yoga be a tool of healing for you at this time?

Jessica Young said...

Maybe you can augment your ashtanga practice with one that is more restorative or gentle, that can be healing for you. Listening to your body is important, as it's trying to tell you something right now. How can yoga be a tool of healing for you?

Ursula said...

Thank you, Jessica, yes why not knowing a gentle practice, too.

For the time being nothing is possible.

Taylor said...

At Millstone Medical they specialize in pain relief while working to correct the cause of the condition. They use a multi-specialty team to provide you with a non-surgical approach to your pain or injury. They are committed to providing the highest quality of health services to help restore your health and well-being. chiropractors greenville sc

Anonymous said...

Oh my dear dear U... I have had some severe body pain. Think healing thoughts, love your body as it is.. yoga breathing will help you a lot, I breath into the spot of pain with the message of relax, relax, surrender, melt away. Sometimes I detatch from the pain and become an observer of it and think how interesting is this "new" sensation. You are an excellent observer of life, you have taught me that.

Also, do you use castor oil in Germany? Google it under Edgar Cayce teachings.. castor oil packs helped me greatly in dealing with knee tendonitis..
Here's a link
I'm am sending you thoughts of compassion and hope for contentment.
Om Shanti, dear U..

Ursula said...

Thank you so much, Debb.
The pain was so over-whelming. It was so difficult to focus on the breath. I had to moan. Screams left my mouth when I moved. I feel better.
We don't have Castor oil here. So many yoginis swear on it. I consider to order it. Thank you so much for the link.

Ursula said...

I'm glad that you feel well again, of course. :)

Ursula said...

Thank you for the link, Taylor.

Bettina said...

I'm sorry you had so severe back pain. You get castor oil at every pharmacy, they fill the desired amount in little bottles. I've used castor oil wraps many times for my hamstrings and always had the feeling that it helped.
Hope you'll feel better soon.

Ursula said...

Thanks Bettina for the tip. I had asked in several drugstore, but they didn't know what it was.
I found a dealer now on amazon.

Anna said...

Tiger balm is good.

Ursula said...

Anna, I know tiger balm. But when a nerve is jammed tiger balm won't do much. I'm fully recovered, btw.