Thursday, January 13, 2011

It's important work........

 It's important work, otherwise it wouldn't be so emotional. I work fast, this is best. Not to think too much is helpful. How much time do I want to waste on discarding garbage? I space cleared again another book shelf.
Today I won't find anything to discard, I thought. I think this each time. But look, also today I could let go of so many old books.

Yes, Mr Logdge, I laughed loudly about your stories. Will I laugh a second time about the same stories. I'm not sure. Thank you for the entertaining hours, bye-bye.

This book on marathon by a German politician was so authentic. This man lost 30 kg or more and  ran 40 km, the marathon. He conquered shame. "My long run to myself" he called his book. A few years later he was fat again. I don't believe him anymore with his new life-style that he has found and that he wanted to keep till the end of his life. In the meantime he'll listen again to rock and not to classical music. He too has the right to change and to invent himself again and again. It's not my beer, away with this book.

Jean-Paul Sartre, le mur. Oui, oui, in French language, sorry Sartre I haven't read this book. When I want to speak French fluently nowadays, then to whisper love words in the ear of a beloved one and not to crucify myself through your books in French language. See you in hell.

I took all the empty boxes from my storage room to the garbage in the back yard. I had to go twice! Room for my bags was needed that lived in my bedroom. I'm not yet so far to let go of those bags. But I don't want to see them anymore. I still think they can bring me some money. Deadline is the the 30. August. If they are still dawdling in my storage room by then I'll make them legs.

Main feelings: regret. All the books that I've not read.......all the money that I've thrown out of the window. That my yoga blanket business didn't become a million-dollar business is not a surprise. It could have been a success, but it wasn't. I'v only spend money on goods. It had to be so, obviously.
At least these blankets support me now with back bending. I face the facts: they have to go, too.

I'm drinking orange juice. Too much dust was flying around again, even though I had the vacuum cleaner handy. I must clear my throat with something liquid.


Also today I got a reward, I found an old picture. I sit next to a friend, but I know she wouldn't like it to see herself published in the Internet, so I had to cut the picture. It was nice to see her again, at least on a picture, a very beautiful woman, with black curls (to give a visual).

Oh, I feel relieved.

Yesterday I wanted to go out. It was already after midnight. In the one hand I had a plastic bag full of garbage, in the right hand I had old papers. A neighbour came up the steps: "Ah, you're going out?" Me, laughing: "Yes, I want to go to a bar." She: "It's raining outside."  Then we stood there in the corridor at midnight and started talking for half an hour or even longer. Every few minutes I had to switch on the light again. When Germans chat, they enjoy complaining. She is 40, but she isn't in the mood to work for companies either. She got even ill due to the stress. Mood is surely not the right word.
We both are convinced something else is waiting for us.

May the rain has stopped in the meantime. I want to enjoy the bar life for 1 hour or so. A Cuba libre for me tonight, libre, liberty, yeah.....

Tip of the day: Throw out your old books and buy new ones, via my blog of course, at amazon. Hahahaha, and don't forget to live.

2 comments:

Anna said...

I love this post! Your humour is so dry :-)

I forced myself to read Sartr's "Nausea" and I still remember what torture it was. Bien sur, I was nauseous by page 2.

Ursula said...

Thank you Anna, and yes humor is needed for sure...:)