In the jungle camp is a woman, a model who is experienced difficult by the other campers. Why? I only want to mention one reason: She was voted to do a test and she refused to do it. She didn't like to pick up stars that were hidden in holes in a wrack. In the holes of course were not only stars but also rats and spiders and other animals. No star means no food for the group. Hahahaha........The others became angry. They want her to go. Hahahaha.
Do you feel it?
Energy. Pure energy. But nobody of the group sees the potential of this energy. This crazy girl creates feelings in them and the others make nothing out of it, but complaining about her. Even R who is experienced in meditation shows the expected and boring reaction. They all want to have the blond devil differently. They don't accept what is. They are not amused nor entertained. They show anger. Yawn, yawn here.
It's courage to refuse to do what others expect. She breaks the rules. Some authors even recommend this in order to become successful. She will also leave the camp with new experiences, but she created them for herself. She refuses to do these awful tests. I understand this. One must say, she was voted the fifth time already to do a test. Probably because she did everything so half-hearted, pretending each time it was the most difficult test. Our perception of what is, is different. But this IS true for everybody.
I searched the web later to read what the public opinion is: some like her, some hate her, some are convinced "this is it what makes the show so good".
It's energy babies, that she is creating in others, it's a gift, it's something that can be transformed.
Sometimes I'm really good at using this firstly "negative" energy for something different. For instance someone steps on my heels in the underground. This usually creates anger in me. I can hear myself sometimes saying: "Take care of your steps!!! But sometimes another thought is faster when I feel anger coming up. Use this, use this, it's energy, I think then. This is a kick, this has the potential to make me doing something, saying something, creating something, writing something, doing another push-up that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. Not always this is possible.
Our wonna be survival men and women do not even think that far. They bore us with known behavioral patterns. OK, they are hungry.....ohhhhhh..........
Oh, I'm so thankful that M is back again. I went to a Mysore class this morning. I missed this so much. Oh, am I happy now that this Mysore show can go on.
Yes, it was great to practice in a group again. The yogis/yoginis have the potential to influence my practice for the better. They give me energy only through their presence. I'm even more focused on my own practice and I'm able to practice more intensively. I exploit this energy shamelessly for my own practice. It was an excellent one. Ah.
Tip for jumping forward: Day in day out, month in month out, year in year out I exercise to jump through and each time one foot is touching the mat. This drives me crazy. Yesterday I had a closer look what is happening. I jump and shift my weight on my hands. The imagination is that I balance on my hands. I don't think that I jump through. I cross my legs. I crossed them so far rather close at the wrists. When I cross them a bit higher my foot touches the floor much much less. I'll work on this tiny variation now. I have the feeling this helps me.
A story at the end that I found in the autobiography of Osho. Once he hold a speech in public and an educated man got so angry about Osho's words that he threw a shoe at him. Osho caught it and asked for the second one, as he wanted to open a shoe shop, he pretended. After this event this man wrote every year letters to Osho and asked him to forgive him. But Osho wrote back each time that he didn't forgive him, because he was not injured. Yeah Osho, a friend he wanted to be..........he is.
(Oshos autobiography is a recommendation if you haven't read it so far.)