I was out and I am glad that I am at home again. The snow is melting. That's the good news because it started becoming dirty. The ingredients for my meals are at home: vinegar cucumbers, couscous, green beans, bananas and other good things. Not yet, but later I will prepare a potato salad with Brussels sprouts aside.
A lot of other things are to do, too, mostly reading (7day -ebook) and writing. I must stay motivated, I simply must. The Saturday phone calls are a burden for me. Turn off the voice I tell myself, the phone call is over. My life is not yet over, I don't want to get these messages each weekend in most subtle ways. I could also think: Perhaps someone is caring for me, but I don't want this either. Turn it off, turn it off this radio. Only 10 years and then I can retire, then I can sit on the sofa all day long, such an attitude shall not be mine. Especially when starting something new, something that has not yet manifested fearful voices are a disaster. "Will you ever get a new job?" I don't want to hear this and I hear sentences like this for decades. Such words are nothing but brakes in my mind. I always got a job and I always lost it. Fine, where is the problem, I won't starve. To read books from Bandler and Zelinski keep me motivated to go on with a more active life. Those who feel weak are weak, those who feel old are old. I feel not bloody young, but great. Yes. Less and less I allow my mind to set myself unnecessary limits. Simply to survive is not enough for me, I want to enjoy my life and I do. Others shall care of their own lives. Amen. I am not interested in recommendations that come out of fear. Jump and the net will appear are sentences I like. I also don't want to move in a bigger flat, to be more representative or to be able to invite people. I don't want to impress anybody. It is really tiny here, but the rent allows me to travel to India and to stay there for a while. This is my lifestyle. I prefer to see the world than to hide myself on the sofa in front of the TV. Perhaps one day we will move in a bigger flat, but it's not the time. A tiny flat has advantages as it does not allow to collect too many things. It reminds me to let go.
Grggghhh, this felt good. Even though I know that everybody acts and speaks as best as it is possible at a given time, I was fed up to listen to pessimistic points of view. No one is really responsible for what's happening. Yes, yes, yes, I only prefer more uplifting supporting messages than fearful ones.
A yoga free day can be relaxing from time to time. It is good to listen to the body. When I had only home practices I had the feeling I need a yoga practice every day. Nowadays I have intensive yoga Mysore classes, often I am able to reach my limits and therefore a rest day makes sense. I enjoy it.