Sunday, February 28, 2010

Yoga as body art

Oh my, yes, leg behind the head, this crazy pose develops. I progressed. It's almost 4pm now and I'm through primary. Enough now. Too many breaks happened, but this is so sometimes.
I'm rather content now.

Wow, what a joy, leg remains where it is supposed to be, behind the head of course, where else

Ah, the impossible was possible, what a motivation. My leg remained behind the head today without holding it. I exercise this pose before and after supta kurmasana. The left side is easier than the right side. I don't care. It is a step in the right direction. Yepeeeee.

Uddyaj breathing

I start my yoga practice today with 5 min uddyaj breathing........


I was surprised, but also entertained and amused when I heard the word extreme in combination to my eating habits. It makes me laugh.
And I insist: If someone has a life style that makes the body ill (high blood pressure, too fat to move easily) this is an extreme life style.
If I have a life style (eating no animal products or at least as less as possible) that keeps me healthy, then this is not extreme. and my extreme life.....hahahaha.
It also made me laugh that our friends didn't like to be 50. I was the fittest, but nobody wants to be in my shoes. Nobody envies me and everybody fears never to get a job with 50 anymore. I admit this doesn't leave me untouched. I try to push away those fears, they serve for nothing. Time to write my journal, my mat is waiting for me, too.
Life happens. I feel less and less responsible for my life, hahahahaha.

The central heating is on already

I need it warm for my yoga practice. It's still too cold outside, so I turned on the central heating. It's Sunday and my yoga week starts today with primary (and some additional asanas like split pose and leg behind the head).
The body is not sore, nor overstretched, no shoulder aches. I feel well-rested.
I'm looking forward to my yoga practice after a day off.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Status update: my book

A schedule: I give myself another month without searching an accounting job. The month March is dedicated to my book. If nothing is ready by then, I must change strategy. Hahahaha, another deadline.

My friend B will translate my book into English. If not she, she will know where I can get it translated.

I became more modest re the number of pages I want to write.
I became more modest re the price.

Indian restaurant this evening

We'll meet a couple for dinner this evening, a former colleague of E and his wife. I like the both very much, too. It will be a lively evening.

Me: Darling, what is our strategy for this evening.
He: No wine, only water, no dessert, and we eat only half of our main course......
Me: Hahahahahaha

And tomorrow I'll make a salad for us........


It's sunny outside, but today is marathon cleaning day, space clearing day, organising day - all in one.
I don't practice yoga which gives me a lot of time.
In the evening we'll meet friends for dinner.
That's it.

Friday, February 26, 2010


You are not forgotten........
I donate.

Ashtanga yoga - second phase

First phase:
I mention only the most important highlights: Of course I was busy to perform these demanding asanas in the beginning. But finally I realized the importance of the breath!!!! Important is also the attitude: Yoga is if you laugh despite everything, B used to say. My observance is that ambitious people are drawn to Ashtanga yoga, people who want challenges. To develop the attitude: "take it easy" and "have fun" can be even helpful.
Second phase:
The body work is more intensive, deeper levels of the body are touched. The breath becomes even more important, also the right vinyasa count. Precision is a word that comes into my mind. During summer M will be absent for 2 months. I plan therefore to go to an Iyengar class. They have the reputation to work precise, perhaps this complements and supports my Ashtanga yoga practice. This are the ideas now, but it will come all differently again, as usual. Let life flow, I think.

To leave the mat relaxed and full of the energy is the goal. If this happens, it was likely a good practice.

Yoga mats

We yogis and yoginis need a sticky mat, comfortable clothes, but that is it.

I have a luxury black mat, thick and long. I use it for my home practice.
The one that is not so good is pink but it's not so heavy (and also not so long), I can carry it around. It was expensive. Very quickly the material showed traces of my practice. (This one I wouldn't buy anymore. No, I don't mention the brand. Next time I buy again German quality. Hahahahahaha)
I have still my first mat, it's a blue one. It is a very thin and light one and looks like new. As it is very thin I don't use it anymore, but nothing speaks against it to use it again.

Coffee shops sell yoga mats, too. My experience: it's not the best quality they offer.

Breakfast in a cafe

I stopped at Cafe Wiener Platz. I had a coffee there and a freshly pressed orange juice. Soon I was bored and I went home........


I am through an intensive yoga week. Today is Friday, it's classic to practice primary today. I wasn't so fresh anymore. Take it easy was the motto.
Finally I was in savasana: I felt a slight pulling in my belly, I experienced this very female pain. I enjoyed it, I know it and I feel it, it will be one of the last times that this sort of pain will visit my body. It is a slight painful bye-bye for ever, I thought. 10 min passed by quickly.

I took my yoga mat, changed clothes and left the studio.

The correct vinyasa count shall be my focus today

These glasses turn me into an aunt. Aunt U has still some time to wake up.
The second cup of coffee is next to me, I need it. I'm looking forward to the Mysore class at 9am. My focus shall be the correct vinyasa count and the deep breathing of course.

I had a wonderful evening with my friend B. She wants to come to a led Ashtanga class in March. This IS great. And courageous. She used to dance ballet, the required flexibility for some asanas shall not shock her.

With this practice my Ashtanga yoga week is over again. Ohhhhh. Too fast it went by.....:)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Yeah, me....

No comment.....

Spring, spring means jump in German language

This was spring today.

I thought I would be alone

I walked to Karolinenplatz, I thought I would be alone there. It was crowded there. All the students were sitting in the sun. Soon I left that place. Too many people were sitting there today.

I was out

Only in the shadow it was cold. I was looking for places where I could take pictures. I found an atmospheric place, it's dirty there, but dirt can be removed or covered with a yoga mat....:)

Energized, light and breezy

I feel good, this intensive practice this morning was great. What is also good is that the entire day is in front of me. The CD didn't give me time to dawdle. No breaks could happen. Focused I did my thing (my yoga practice - first series with this CD by Sharath).......:)
And now I've still time for so many other activities.

The sun is shining.......:)

I survived my yoga practice with the CD by Sharath

.....and I feel great now. Wow, I did it......Wow......
This CD is the best. Simple, nothing is redundant. Ashtanga in its purity. Sharath also has a nice voice and at the end he chanted (for me). The Indian accent is sweet.

The CD is best to learn the right vinyasa count and to experience flow.
I also like that Sharath doesn't make a fuss out of special poses. When I practice alone I sometimes think: Next pose is marichysana C, OMG, how will it be today. It takes me many breaths till I'm in that pose. Sharath simply names the pose, he makes a little break and then he counts the five breaths. That's it. I want to enter some poses faster.
The CD is so fast it doesn't allow thinking. I went from one asana to the next. I took care of my breath, Inhaling, exhaling........
This CD is not something for every day, too hard. A led class is recommended once a week only. This was my led class today.

Oh, yes, I realized some weakness when I practiced first series today, but this doesn't count.

I found out that when I press all my fingers equally hard on the floor when I jump through I can lift my crossed legs a bit higher.
Paschimottanasana was very deep after urdhva dhanurasana. Three times I was up in urdhva dhanursasna and breathed deeply, stretched my arms, pressed my hips forward, ahhhhh.

I deserved the 10 min relaxation at the end. There is still tension in my body when I'm finally on my back under my brown blanket. Progressively I relax, especially the face.
Yes, I deserve noodles this evening.......:)

Up since 6am, this is great

This is funny: I forgot that I usually go to a led class on Thursday evening. I will meet a dear friend for dinner instead.
Once a week a led class is recommended. I will have it with the CD by Sharath. Buh, this will exhaust me. Better is to think: Ahhh, this will refresh me. I want to deserve the noodles this evening.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Yes, good........

I had an excellent practice: I worked on second series this morning.
There are asanas I'm not able to do, but I like to work on it. One of these asanas is kapotasana. But it is also karandavasana.
There are others I'm not able to do, but I really have to convince myself to work on them: bakasana B and mayurasana are these asanas. They spoil the series. Hahahahaha. It's part of it to learn asanas that are especially difficult. I know this. Trying to understand them, not to judge them is what works.

Tomorrow home practice: first series.....:)

One hour later.....

...after 2 cups of black coffee, and a very cold shower I feel ready for the day. I feel ready for second Ashtanga series.

Up and tired

This is not new. I need time to wake up: Time (1 hour minimum), coffee (2 cups of the black poison), cold water (yes, cold water after my warm shower is great).
Intention for my yoga practice today:
Do it, this is enough. My breath will guide me through my practice.
And as so often I will be surprised what will happen.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Status update: my book

Day 3:
2 tasks were given today by Joe Vitale and Jim Edwards:
The first was to do a brainstorming, either in a journal or in a word document. I used a blog (not public). It's psychological helpful for me to pretend to write a blog. I made a dash and wrote what came into my mind, next line, I started again with a dash and so on. It was a mess, my mind was jumping form one topic to the next, but the mental juices were running. I wrote down everything that came into mind. I think I created a useful reference when I finally start to write.

The second task was to write a sales letter. Ah. The idea to write the sales letter first is so good. I have the book in my mind, I can also write the sales letter first. But what flew to paper (in my post) was a mess and not at all something that I would call a convincing letter. It doesn't matter. Tomorrow I will try this exercise again. I will imagine how I can convince E to buy my book. At the end I had a result: I think I know now how to structure the contents. This is much, but the sales letter, let's see what will happen tomorrow.

I am happy that I worked on my book. I don't know how long I worked. I don't care at all. I know how difficult it is to have the self-confidence to work on it. It all seems so banal and even embarrassing. I feel like a moral apostle, and this I don't want to be. But I will judge the whole book at the end. Then I can decide if I have to rewrite it, if I have to throw it away or what else I will do with it. It's not yet the moment for such profound decisions.

A plan is made: Tomorrow I will work on the sales letter again.

E invited me for dinner. Of course I want to accompany him. We go to the Indian restaurant. The second one round the corner.
The rules:
To eat the vegetables, not so much from the rice and the naan bread.
To stop eating when full
To drink water would be good, but I don't want to preach water and drink wine. I know myself. Indian food is rather fat, a wine is good with it.
I love to talk, so I usually don't eat so fast, because I don't speak when my mouth is full of food - hahahahahaha. Most of the time I take care of this at least. I feel faster when I'm full that way.
I have a motivation not to eat too much - I want to be able to do pashasana tomorrow morning when I am at the Mysore class.

No escape

"It's fantasy. Listen. There is no escape. What you want to be free from, what you reject, what you want not to be, want your teachers not to be, is It. Is Presence, is Consciousness. This, here. No one needs a spiritual teacher, certainly not one on a pedestal, to show them something else. There is nothing else. Judging it 'dark side' or 'light side' is the illusion. If you're not disillusioned with your spiritual teacher, he isn't doing his job. A spiritual teacher worth his or her salt is in the dis-illusion-ment business." (David Carse "perfect, brilliant stillness, page 244)

Me too, I want to quote from time to time.

The voice becomes louder and louder: Go to your office around the corner, this little cafe. In this U-thing the thoughts happen that she must write a book on how to stay slim because she expects a certain financial independence from it. What a fantasy........
Energy will manifest.

I give up for now.....

I have so many challanges. Focus on one asana, I thought. Next most difficult pose I want to accomplish is kapotasana. This pose does not want to develop.....and it exhausts me so when I do it. I dropped back today and exercised this pose against the wall, but soon I gave up.
Pashasana: I didn't like to give up here. I couldn't accept that this pose should be lost when I practice alone without adjustment. The second time I could hook my fingers again. Voilà.
Ashtanga yoga is an exercise in patience.
I'm looking forward to the Mysore class tomorrow morning. The energy of the group helps. I am not so distracted like at home. Ah, I must work on this, not to make so many breaks. A strategy could be to work with the CD by Sharath till the end of the standing asanas and the closing sequence.
Enough for now. I must learn to set an end to my practice. Ashtanga yoga shall not dominate my whole life. I want to do other things, too. I have to.


I found an old love post card yesterday. "Deux coeurs sont identiques, lesquels?" stands in the middle of all these beautiful hearts. Freely translated: Two hearts are the same, which one? I had to search for a while, but then I found two hearts that were the same. Yes, these 2 hearts belong together I thought.
But the entire day I thought, why are not 3 hearts the same? This would be progressive.
Why are not 5 or 6 hearts the same? Then these hearts could form a Mysore class or any other group of course, too.
Ah, they are all so beautiful these hearts.

Monday, February 22, 2010

I need another passion.....

I need another passion next to Ashtanga yoga, something that makes my heart blood running. Ashtanga yoga is for my health, it's my play time. I need a passion that brings me money. Tomorrow I will work seriously again on my book. I must finish this project. And I will.
I need another addiction.
Schedule for tomorrow: At 12 my yoga practice must be finished. Then I will go to my office again. It's easier for me to work outside my home.

Oh, everything was so serious

I am glad that I am no more in my twenties. Everything seemed to be so serious and real.

I quote: " Basically either there is seeing or there isn't, either the veil is dropped or it isn't. Just being a mystic or a yogi or a shaman of course means little: more dream roles for more dream characters. As long as there is anyone here to understand, there is not understanding. As long as there is anyone here to awaken, there is not awakening. .......

There can only be the shift in perception to see maya, the unreal, as unreal."
(David Carse, "perfect, brilliant, stillness, page 95 ff.)

Second series, not a piece of cake

Mysore class: I practiced slowly, I couldn't practice faster. It seemed to be so challenging today, this second series. There are still too many asanas that I'm not able to do alone. Love the plateau, I think.

We become more Asthangis and this is great. Stamina is it. When we are more we form a group. When we are only a few we become individuals who relate to each other. Energy is spread when we are more, that's great.

Time to nap 45 min or so. This will feel good now, to give me some sleep.

Tired, tired

My yoga practice usually starts slowly, in the beginning I am often a bit stiff. It's the same with my day. I feel incredible tired in the morning. I sit here with rounded back, because it takes too much energy to sit upright. It's the low blood pressure perhaps, I think. A second cup of coffee is necessary before anything can happen. I know it's good to leave the house at 8am, this is a decent time to be up. Mysore class is on the schedule in the morning, and I love to practice second series. Buh, I feel so tired. It was not easy to sleep in, but I had hours of sleep. I'm yawning......

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Ah, so dessert......cuddling bananas......

Why shall bananas not spoon each other?
But from time to time even bananas have to face the facts!
A vegan dessert for us fleshy beings finished my dinner. Or am I a fruit? And E a vegetable?


And I so understand this. Our neighbours in the cafe had ordered 2 cheese cakes. All the cakes in this cafe are really delicious. Don't ask why I know this. The cakes came with 2 tea spoons. The woman didn't like to eat the cake with this tea spoon, but with a little fork. I heard her complaint and had to comment: "I understand you so well", I told her, "it tastes totally differently weather you eat this cake with a spoon or with a fork". The man went on eating. She asked for a little fork, but the waiter apologized: "They are all in the dishwasher. I am so sorry", she said with honest regret.

Cakes require a little fork. Yes.

Tomorrow we'll fly, so light we'll be....:)

I even mersed the ginger.....olala. This dinner was Thai inspired, stress on ispired. It was with tofu and soy sauce, chilie, coriander, garlic, cumin, red pepper, rasped carrots, spring onion, iceberg lettuce, tomatoes (only the fleshy parts).
The sauce consisted of soy sauce and sherry. My meals are only something for grown-up children.
OK, there is room for a dessert.......:)
(I feel a bit banal, when I publish what I eat, but it was wished.)

The English Garden

It was slippery or muddy. It was almost impossible to walk without falling. Soon I had enough from this dangerous ways. We had coffee and tea in a cafe. Nevertheless The English Garden IS beautiful.

Excellent practice this morning

"I grow older not progressively but in sudden huge steps", said the woman in the Greece restaurant lately.
I thought: Exactly like I progress in yoga. Nothing moves and suddenly a huge step forward can be felt. Oh, I don't want to be insolent. She was a good looking woman in her 60s, she smiled and was looking forward to become a grandma. No, her daughter was not yet pregnant, but it was obvious that the young couple was working on it. It was a funny night for all of us.

I distract: I had such a focused practice this morning. I only left twice my mat: Once after the standing sequence, but I returned quickly. The second time I made my bf doing navasana with me. I had to pick him up from the bed. Oh my, this is hard work, he is so reluctant to do something for his abdomen. I don't give up so quickly (hahahahaha) and afterwards he is happy (I hope so).
I did some additional asanas like hanumanasana (was great today), and eka pada sirsasana. I think kurmasana and supta kurmasana need still some energy, some additional attention and developement. When I do not do breaks during my practice the body remains warm and therefore flexible till the end. Before sirsasana I practiced handstand and pincha mayurasana. Pincha mayurasana I tried without block and strap. My arms and hands didn't move when I went up. This IS progress. But I used a strap when I did urdhva dhanurasana. The front side of the hips must open and lengthen. I didn't like to make it easy for me today.
I think my body is prepared now for an intensive second series tomorrow morning.

10 min I relaxed under my soft brown blanket. It's important for me to do this conscious relaxation at the end.

That I will prepare dinner for us at home is good, too. This guarantees that I either loose weight or that I stay the same, but I usually don't gain wait how it is when we eat in restaurants.
Time to go out for a walk. It's either the English Garden or the Nymphenburger Castle where we want to walk.

3 hours till noon

I obviously needed more sleep than I've planned for myself. It's 9am and no more 6am or 7am. I think it's good to step off the mat at noon to have time for other activities but asanas/vinyasas, uddyaj breathing.
The sun is shining and E and me should go out for a walk today.

I'm sipping my black coffee.
Primary today. It is not boring, I will focus on my breath again.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Yeah, I cooked and the recipe blues

Oh, it was good, but I had to improvise a lot. The recipe in the cook books are often of not much use. In the middle of my cooking activities I almost desperated, because I knew it wouldn't be good this meal. I called E. Put everything in the wok and cook it was his recommendation and that's what I did. I like raw food, lively food, but not everything is suitable to eat like it grows on the fields. Carrots are too heavy in the stomach for me when raw.
1. When I read green pepper. I always buy red pepper. Green peppers are not yet ripe. It might look better to the carrots, but they lie usually heavily in the stomach. I got the green color from the parsley.
2. Rasp the carrots, I read, but I rasp them too hoarsely. I realized that it would be very difficult to digest and that we would sit at the table and bite the carrots like cows. This was the moment where I called E. The idea was good to cook everything. I cooked it in white wine.....hahahahaha.
3. To eat this carrot salad with potatoes was also my idea. I mean only to eat some rasped carrots is not a meal.

We were happy with the meal. What I described happens often. It is necessary to have a cook book with tested meals. Cook books are too quickly written and often only written not eaten.
I am too lazy now to write down the recipe. I loved it, but E does not like raisins. I had forgotten it. Oh, this was not nice, but he didn't complain. My, he is sooooo nice.

Nevertheless: also this meal is vegan, we didn't miss anything. It was tasty and we are full. Tomorrow we'll smile when we step on the scales. This is always so when I cook.

Funny: We both took a magnesium. We always take a magnesium when we drink red wine.


I will cook again, but what, what, what.........
I must study my cook books to know what ingredients I need.
My own food is healthier than what we get in restaurants.

Status update: my book

How to stay slim with only one whatever a day!
Ahhhhh, at least one young male reader got the message. It feels so good to be understood. Yes. My book is about finding passion in life, it is about a life style of quality and fun. It's not about eating another fat-free yoghurt that is supposed to make you slim how the promotion wants to tell us. Find a passion that makes you forget to eat. One passion can be enough, but it is allowed to have more.........
From time to time to feed the body is necessary, yes. Be picky and learn to say no thank you. Nowadays we eat too often, too much and the wrong stuff. Live a life that makes you forget what is in your fridge and you will become slim the easy way.
My book is about healthy habits, fun living and not about dieting.
Was that a summary???
PS: The bikini is faux fur. Of course.

All in one

When we practice Ashtanga yoga, we practice asanas/vinyasas and pranayama together.
The pranayama technique that we do when practicing Ashtanga yoga is uddyaj breathing. I do not get tired to repeat this hahahahaha.
The glottis in the throat is used to produce a soft sound when inhaling and when exhaling. For many it seems easier to produce this sound when exhaling. This is the first difficulty.
The second difficulty is to do exhaling as long as inhaling.
The breath initiates a movement and lasts as long as the movement lasts.
Another difficulty arises when we reach our limits when doing an asana. Then it is especially important to go on with uddyaj breathing. I tended to hold the breath. When I learned marichyasana C and D it was very difficult for me to inhale at all. Fear came up and I stopped breathing. It is important to go on breathing especially when we feel limits. This is a technique that allows us finally to go deeper into an asana.
Often I started my practice with the best intentions to focus on my breath during the entire practice, but soon it was forgotten. My mind was busy with the asanas and not the breath. I got back to the breath again and again. I am not lazy to remind me of the breath each time I practice. The breath connects the asanas and vinyasas and creates flow.
M told me last time that my inhaling is a tiny bit shorter again than my exhaling. On my yoga free day (today) I sat down in lotus pose (before showering) and exercised twice 5 min uddyaj breathing. Sometimes it is easier to learn something when isolating it from other activities (asanas). The result was exciting. I felt very awake afterwards. The deep inhaling and exhaling woke me up. And this can be also the result when I do the correct breathing when I practice Ashtanga yoga: It is possible to feel refreshed after a practice (not only good because it is done).

Already in lotus pose I sat 10 min in silence. The water tap dropped. Exercise non-attachment, I thought. This dropping water is nothing, it needn't drive you crazy. Thoughts came up, I wrote some posts mentally. Over.
Breakfast time.

PS: To practice asanas/vinyasas and pranayama all in one is one of the challenges of Ashtanga.

I woke up without alarm clock.....:)

Today is my yoga free day and I respect this. This is traditional. But for the time being it makes sense to me to respect a day off because my yoga during the week is very intensive.

I will do pranayama. M realized that my inhaling is still a bit shorter than the exhaling. 5 min I will exercise simply uddyaj breathing. To isolate the breath from the movements makes it easier to improve it.
Then I will do alternate nostril breathing how I've learned it in India from my pranayama teacher: 12 rounds will be enough.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Almost bed time

We are back from the Indian restaurant. It was too much food, I feel full, but the food was spicy and I love this. We talked about mangoes with the owner probably, who comes from Pakistan. Indian food always means hard work for the stomach. And tomorrow is my yoga free day.

I respect my yoga free day. I work very concentrated and reach my limits. A break is good also for the motivation. My yoga week will start on Sunday with primary again......:)

OK, when too distracted....

OK, when I'm too distracted at home, I must go to my office, the cafe round the corner. I must put on decent clothes, must pack my PC and I must go out into the cold. And that's what I'm going to do now. I am too distracted by this and that at home. It's time to be prolific.

Surprise, surprise

Wow, I had an excellent practice this morning. Especially good was kurmasana and supta kurmasana. Impossible is the exit and transition from tittibasana to bakasana. It doesn't matter.

Focus, focus, focus on the breath is what I exercise. I focus on myself and my breath. I don't care about the outer world or the inner world, the thoughts that come up. I get back to the breath each time when I realize that I'm elsewhere but on my mat. Focus. To be able to do this is really an ability useful in life as well.

I feel relaxed, great, light-hearted.

Last minute

My dear friends from India R and M have not forgotten our plans that came up when we were in India together. We wanted to meet in NY in May. Now I was asked if I can join and if I will come. To write "no" was very difficult this morning. My financial situation must change first. Perhaps this has happened till May. But this would be a last minute change re my situation. But if this happened, I will buy a last minute ticket to meet my friends from India and Australia.
I have another so exciting motivation to work on my book!!!!!!

I sit here and oh a sentence from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe comes into my mind: Two souls are living in my breast.......
But no, I am a down to earth woman, realistic. Too much spending money lately has happened.
My plan for today and I'm highly motivated: Mysore class first, coffee or lunch with E (not my E, but a yogini) afterwards. Then I will work on my book. In the evening dinner with my E.

Oh my I feel full of energy.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A piece of cake.....

Some of the waiting yogis/yoginis were convinced: Second series is a piece of cake. Easier than the first series. Easy done.
I wondered: Do we practice the same????

Led class: We came till navasana. A few beginners were in the group. They liked the practice. In the evening my body is so much more softer and I was happy with my back bending: urdhva dhanurasana.

A bit of sleep now. And tomorrow again primary, Mysore class - then the yoga week is over.
Ha ha ha, in the evening E will again do something that I won't reach my dream weight. We'll go to the new Indian restaurant round the corner......:)

Ah, phone calls can last....

.....and last, and last, and last. Only a corded phone will do. Wink.
An empty battery shall not stop me, no, no........

Are phone-calls old-fashioned?

This reminds me: I need a new mobile phone.

Time to go out, time to search the restaurant P has recommended yesterday. It's melting outside. Snow masses have disappeared already.

Was this a morning practice?

I was on my mat on time. Practice started very good. Body was even flexible. Focus was the right vinyasa count. I practiced till marichyasana C. Then it was time to wake up my E. It came that I sat with him for a while on the bed. I preferred to talk to him a bit. He is so busy. When we have time for each other I always appreciate this. Quickly the minutes went by. When he was ready to leave the house, my body was cold again, no more flexible, it has tightened.
When I want to go on with my practice I have to start with a few suryas again. I am not so in the mood to start again. I will shower and then I will do pranayama and I will sit for 10 min. Usually these two practices are not sweaty ones. Another shower afterwards won't be necessary.
In the evening I will go to a led class. This shall be enough yoga for today.

I will meet a dear friend during lunch. I am looking forward to this event.

Book recommendation: There are yoga books on the market that are not on Ashtanga yoga. Yes this exists and there are good ones available, too. One of these books is by Steve Ross (a yoga teacher in LA, I think) "Happy yoga". It's a book not only on asanas. But also on inner yoga, eating, pranayama, meditation. The subtitle of the book is: 7 reasons why there's nothing to worry about.

I woke up without alarm clock

I have a lot of plans for today.

As usual I will write my private journal. Then is yoga time, primary. I'll meet a friend for lunch.
In the evening I will go to a led class. This shall be enough yoga. In the afternoon I will work!!!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Not yet, not yet...

A good working schedule is not yet established. It is all too fresh. I will work on this. 5 prolific hours must be possible.
Tomorrow I will stay at home to practice: primary in the morning and led class in the evening.

Up at 6am. Yes. On the mat at 8an. Yes.

The joy to exercise on a regular basis

I am at home again after an excellent practice. We were more practitioners than usual which was great. Guests, as I've learned. Uddjay breathing could be heard during the entire session. This gives the entire session an Ashtanga atmosphere.
I exercised till vatayanasana. I do what I can do alone and I am very happy when M helps me with the asanas I'm not able to do alone: karandavasana, dwi pada sirsasana among others. I got new ideas how to practice mayurasana. To put the hands on blocks IS helpful. But this was it for this week with second series. Tomorrow is primary on the schedule.

There is a book I'd like to recommend: Mastery. The keys to success and long-term fulfilment by George Leonard.
The joy to exercise on a regular basis is one of the ingredients on the way to mastery.
Another really good recommendation of Leonard is: Be prepared that plateaus will come. Start loving the plateaus, these times where still stand is experienced. Be prepared that this will come and then simply go on.
I don't feel still stand for the time being. It's a joy to practice, I feel less distracted, also not when I practice at home. Did the practices become easier? It is possible. To exercise focus is part of the exercise. Last but not least the available energy is focused and therefore stronger.

Modesty: This key word came into my mind. The longer I practice the more modest I feel. Plateaus were experienced. But not only this. I had times where I had to practice alone for months. I experienced setbacks due to injuries. I am thankful that I am able to practice. That I experience joy while practicing even makes me happy.

One is not enough, I speak about my morning coffee

Buh, yes, I need anothter one. I remember: finally I slept and then the night was over. These snow machine monsters were active, too last night.

Wednesday: Mysore class in the morning is on the schedule. Focus shall be the breath, focus shall be myself. I am sure I will have an intensive practice. Second series develops muscles in the upper body. I feel a bit sore again. Or is it only because I had an uncomfortable body posture that night? I shall see. I'm looking forward to my morning practice.

It shall be a working day for me, too! Yep!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


And finally we were in the same restaurant like the year before and the year before and the year before. As every year the wine was bad, the food lousy. It's a ritual to be there on carnival Tuesday and to complain about the beverages and the food. We would miss it.
Carnival is over for us. Shall the others have party till midnight. E is already in a conference call. And I have also something to do....wink.


Munich is a beautiful city. The idea comes up to show some secret places......:)


Knights, Arabs, monks, men as women, gipsies, devils, all sorts of costumes could be admired. It's fun to pretend to be someone else for a day.

Yeah it was crowded downtown

Music everywhere: they played: I feel good, James Brown.
Oh we weren't alone to enjoy the rhythm. People everywhere.

It has been cold in Munich

Picture: An icy well downtown.

Darling, what is your masquerade this year???

Me: Darling, what is your masquerade this year?
He: I am the rock in turbulent waters.

Hahahahahaha: Sometimes I say to him: You are my rock in turbulent waters. And today this was his masquerade. Oh honey.......there is nothing to add.

Home practices are also self-studying opportunities

OK, I practiced, I stepped on my mat and my body was already rather flexible as it was rather late.
Nevertheless: almost all the asanas of the second series are a challenge.
Pashasana is lost. My fingers only touch nowadays, if at all. Touching only happened when I tried the pose the second time. Only with adjustments I can hook. I was much further here, some poses are obviously volatile.
Kapotasana: I dropped back while on my knees. It is important to keep the legs parallel to learn it the safe way. It is the same when practicing urdhva dhanurasana. The pose aims at opening the hips and the chest, the back. Next time I will use a strap to guarantee parallel legs. I tried to bring my hands closer to my legs. I pushed my ankles against the floor and engaged my leg muscles, pushed the hips forward. Give me 2 more years and my finger tips will touch the toes, I thought. But progress comes in batches. I am curious how long it will finally last. I arched back and tried to hold the position while I breathed deeply in and out. More couldn't be done.
Karandavasana: I did headstand and folded the legs into lotus pose. I did it very close to my wardrobe for safety reasons. Then I opened my hands and put them flat on the floor and lifted the head. All this was possible. I could hold the pose and then it happened: I fell backwards against the wardrobe with much noise. My neck was not convinced about it, but no injuries happened. Yes, I was a bit shocked and thought: enough for today. To do this pose close to a wardrobe or wall is a possibility to exercise this asana alone.
Mayurasana: M showed me a method how to approach this pose, I must take a picture. Next time.
Nakrasana: No, thank you. I omitted this jumping.
I was glad that I didn't spoil my practice with taking pictures. Not so many breaks happened. This is important for me, to have focus, not to be distracted so easily.

I relaxed in savasana for 5 min. :)
Next time it shall be 10 min again, 10 long min.

The sun is shining......

Buh, I wrote a lot this morning, my last post was rather long. I am really awake now. Time to write my private journal. My morning pages remain important. Afterwards I will practice yoga. I looked at my watch, because I've set myself a time limit for all my practices. At noon my yoga practice should be finished. Exceptions allowed. I got up at 7, it's 8:30 now, there is still plenty of time for everything, so everything is perfect in paradise. Hahahahaha.

In the afternoon E and I will go downtown to eat Krapfen. It is carnival here and many people wear a masquerade here in Bavaria. It's fun to observe. Each year I think I will masquerade next year, too, but except using a boa I did nothing by now. I discarded my boa last year, so this year I won't even have a boa.........:)

Status update: my book

I work with a book that I've bought years ago: It is 7day eBook by Jim Edward & Joe Vitale. Both are very successful.
So the reason to right my book is surely to make money with it. J&J wrote that if one wants to make money with a "how-to" book it is crucial to find a niche. This frustrated me. I wanted to write a book for everybody who is overweight. I felt that the authors are right. But this frustrated me even more because what should be my niche, my defined target group. Frustration comes, frustration goes. I had an idea: why shall not be the baby boomers be my target group. They are around 50, a bit younger a bit older. I know the issues of this group as part of it and I know the language.
Solve a problem of the people, is the next recommendation. Search the net: google groups, amazon, and find out which words they use which problems arise and give the solution. OK, I searched the net, and I don't think that the result was so effective. But I got the message: I write a book someone shall buy, so I must address his/her issues not mine and it is good or necessary for survival to use their language, their key words.
If you can give solutions for several issues people usually have your book is likely to be more successful. Think about it, they (J&J) advised: Usually people like to make more money, they want to save time, they want to be healthy. I think I will be able to find a combination: Living according to my recommended life style saves money: I wouldn't have mentioned it in my book, but I know it is a good point. To live without meat is cheaper. To drink water instead of sugar drinks is cheaper, too. ...........

Give information the reader can use quickly, I read. Also this sentence helped me. My book needn't to be long and complicated. Most people need quick help and info that are easy to digest. One chapter I think must contain as a summary all the life style changes that help to stay slim. Life style changes sound so big, but it isn't. To drink water instead of sugar beverages is not such a big shift, but effective.

The tasks: Define the problem. How did I find a solution? Finally: how can people who read the book save money, make money, avoid effort, achieve better results in their life.

I am convinced that all this work that I do now makes sense before the actual writing process.

Solving problems: Another thought comes up, that I still consider interesting. Really helpful it would be to accompany people for a while to assure that these life style shifts become habits. But how to do it? Why not open a blog. Those who like to work with the book or also without the book can buy the password for a month for let's say 10 Euro. It can be a discussion forum. Groups are always supportive. Will people pay for this? I think it is an idea that I shouldn't discard. It's the same like with my book. I can only fail. It's not life-threatening to try to find people who are willing to use this possibility to stay committed.
(I can see myself already sitting in one of the cafes of this world, discussing eating habits and feeling good because I make even money with it. Oh.)

With each new post here I have the feeling I make myself a bit more ridiculous. I think this is part of the writing process in general. It needs courage to write. One makes oneself vulnerable. Might it be so. I love to write despite all the mixed feelings that come up.

PS: The book is in German language first. It has to be. To got it translated is planned of course.

Monday, February 15, 2010

The rent for my office today

It works for me to work in cafes. I get going. Tomorrow is carnival, it's perhaps not the best day to sit in front of a PC in a cafe. But I will repeat these working sessions outside of my home, might it be reading or writing what I want to do. I had even internet access for free. It needn't to be a library. I can be prolific when among other people. In Germany one can sit very long in front of a coffee in the same cafe. It's not like in the US where they bring the bill with the beverage.
And the tea with fresh mint leaves was wonderful.

Home practice tomorrow

When I have enough energy my morning home practice is the time to explore the asanas.
Second series consists of deep back bending asanas, deep forward bending asanas and advanced balancing asanas. I won't be bored.
I will use the wall for kapotasana. To stay longer as usual is what I intend to do. As usual I will be surprised what will happen.

The Ashtanga practice has challenges for all of us. As soon as something, an asana i.e. is mastered new challenges arise. That's why we all remain beginners. Sometimes the asanas themselves are the challenge. It can also be the vinyasas or the right vinyasa count. If someone does not feel challenged anymore something went wrong........

Do I still remember my yoga goals for 2010???

I think yes!
I want to be able to practice first and second series relatively fluently. There is a lot to learn in the first series, but the second series is rather new to me and needs the most energy. To keep up a daily practice is the only way to learn all the asanas and to combine it with the vinyasas. In my case I need patience as the body learns slowly, but progress can be experienced (not every day,......).
Another thought comes up too: To dedicate 3 hours (including commuting time and blogging and chatting with yogis) of every day to my yoga practice shall be enough. There are other things in life that pleases me, too. Do it and then let go, I think. It needn't be that yoga occupies my mind all the time. What was, what will come next, how to improve this pose, how to improve the vinyasas, the breath are all interesting questions. But enough is enough. And yoga has enough room in my life now.

Quickly I am enthusiastic.....

Worldwide are a lot of fantastic teacher in the meantime and they all offer workshops, which is great. Quickly I am enthusiastic.......

Stepping back I know that for me a daily practice in the morning is best. The combination that I have now: 3 Mysore classes with an excellent teacher who knows the limits and possibilities of my body, 3 practices at home and sometimes in addition a led class in a yoga studio is enough for me. It cannot be better for the moment. I experience my yoga practice as exciting, I am highly motivated to do the practices every morning. It is for my health and this has a number one priority in the meantime.
Workshops can be inspiring. It is a possibility to meet new yogis/yoginis. I know. New unexpected things happen always.
In my case I am very happy with what is.
My motivation to attend workshops is rather low.

I also want to spend my time with E. when he has vacation. And E is not a yogi, will never be and this is absolutely OK. We have fun when we do navasana together. But this was it.

Another good practice

It is difficult to predict how the body will be. It was flexible again today. Doing it is all. I focus on myself, my breath, my asanas, my vinyasas during the Mysore class.
I wish we'd become more Ashtangis in Munich. Ashtanga yoga is also something for men.

This morning when I left the door, I met a neighbour. She must have realized that I was carrying a yoga mat in the black bag because she asked me if I practiced yoga. I agreed and quickly we were in a conversation. Since a year she is practicing Jivamukti yoga. She has heard nothing about Ashtanga yoga so far. This is what I experience here in Munich. Jivamukti yoga is rather known in the meantime, most people even yoga practitioners have heard nothing about Ashtanga yoga. Me too, I discovered it accidentally 6 years ago. Much later I discovered that it is cult. My neighbour wants to join us in March for a led class. Perhaps she likes it and another Ashtanga addict in spe is found. Who knows.

Up, up,.....

It is not so easy to get up lately. I blame the winter and the cold weather.....:)
I am up, this is what counts. Second series is on the schedule in a Mysore class. Yep. And afterwards lunch with friends. Both are good reasons to get up. Monday morning cannot start better.
Where is my second cup of coffee???

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Passion and stamina

Passion and stamina: If you have this Ashtanga yoga is fun. To have passion and stamina is also not so bad for the rest of the live.

Bed time again.....

Oh my, Sunday is over. And I look forward to my back bending tomorrow in the Mysore class. My body feels so transparent. We will be many yoginis tomorrow, I feel this.

OK, my dinner this evening

Couscous with vegetables (1 onion, 2 garlic gloves, green beans and red pepper in a white wine sauce with a vegetable broth). Yes, it was good and healthy. I had put sambal olek on the table and we used it. This made this meal spicy. This was surely a meal that will make us smile tomorrow on the scales......:)

Like a rucksack

1:30 pm: I've just finished my morning practice. It was a playful one. I tried to put my leg behind the head after supta kurmasana. It is important that the leg is not behind the head or on the neck, the leg is supposed to be behind the back (like a rucksack, metaphor is from Gregor Maehle). Then the pose can become comfortable. That's what I tried today to bring the lower leg deeper behind the back. I practiced different versions: Both legs behind the head while lying on the back. One leg behind the head while sitting. Repetition is always helpful and each time I could get deeper into the pose.

Marichyasana A can be seen on the picture. The chin can move forward a bit. Dristi is not the shin, but the foot. I tried to stretch the arms and I tried to move them upwards and backward in order to open the chest. Also the forward bending asanas aim at opening the chest. There are only a few asanas with rounded back, but they exist. I am not so convinced of the position of the foot. Next time I will be conscious if I use the bandhas. To do self-studies via pictures is really helpful.

The body felt flexible today, which astonished me, but it was so. It was a stisfying start of my yoga week. Tomorrow second series. I must be patient, nothing can be forced. To experience flow is more important than being able to do all the asanas. The series must be seen in their totality and not only the single asanas.
The breath and vinyasas connect the asanas. They are important as the asanas.
The breath creates the flow. Also today I tried to do the right vinyasa count.
To compare the breath (inhaling, exhaling) with the waves of the sea is still the best metaphor for me. The waves are coming in and they return and they come in, it is an endless game. Sometimes the waves come faster sometimes slower. I experience this also with the breath. I try to make inhaling equal to exhaling, but in some asanas especially the twists my breath is not as deep as in "simple" forward bending asanas like paschimottanasana. Nevertheless inhaling and exhaling can have the same length.

10 min I was in savasana.

Time to have breakfast. Hahahahhaha.


It's also possible to pamper oneself.........:)
My mat is waiting for me. Forward bending today.....primary.

..and quickly I walked back home

This is not the house where I live. In this house only men live. goal this morning

It's carnival here, Krapfen-time. They sell almost only these round cakes with apricot jam in it or another filling. It's E's favourite breakfast on Sundays.

...and round the corner

....this is Munich in winter time. People stay at home, it's almost deserted outside.

On my way to the bakery

It's fresh outside, it's refreshing.

Up, ready to start my yoga week......

I cannot get up and step on my mat. I need about an hour till my body is ready and flexible. I check the news online and I write my private journal during this first hour of my day.
Something wonderful I experienced this morning. I am on fb mainly to stay in contact with friends, friends that I have met, but also those that I "Know" from blogging or somewhere else i.e.. It is wonderful that I get to know new friends as well, like-minded people with similar interests. Sometimes I am also proactive and I send a friends request to someone I've read a book or I've attended a workshop during my lifetime. I usually write a few sentences, who I am (or what I am doing i.e. practicing Ashtanga yoga) and why I like to be connected with this person via fb. This is a matter of politeness. I like to be connected with the yoga community. Some of these "famous" yogis and yoginis surely use their fb-side as a networking tool to announce the workshops and therefore like to be connected with potential clients. But this is also my interest to learn about it. Nevertheless networking is not networking. There are really super professional yogis/yoginis (I write this in a most positive sense). Kino MacGregor is such a very good net worker. She answered my letter personally and told me that she will be in Frankfurt this year. Also Doug Swenson, whom I added yesterday answered with an email and offered even to contact him when I like to talk about anything. Check my side he wrote, there are cool photos. And there are cool photos. What a motivation to start with my primary on a Sunday morning. Knowing that these yogis/yoginis have more than 4000 contacts I think this is simply great.

Hahahahaha: I just read: Red wine and chocolate, the new cancer killer.........I knew it........

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Primary tomorrow morning

It will be a home practice which I appreciate. I'm often in the mood to experiment a bit.
To be in an asana shall be comfortable, perhpas even relaxing. I have this feeling when I do janu sirsasna A. There are more and more asanas in which I can relax.
Other asanas create still stress in the body like these deep twists marichyasana C and D. The body starts sweating as soon as I start twisting.
And there are asanas I have to convince myself to do it: after all these forward bending asanas of the first series urdhva dhanurasana needs mental energy to do it.

It is always an adventure to practice. How will it be tomorrow, I think?

Experiments in the kitchen

Good, but not so special. The potato salad was OK, the Brussels sprouts without sauce a bit boring. Oh, it was OK, not so much is left. I love to experiment.

Uncomfortable outside

I was out and I am glad that I am at home again. The snow is melting. That's the good news because it started becoming dirty. The ingredients for my meals are at home: vinegar cucumbers, couscous, green beans, bananas and other good things. Not yet, but later I will prepare a potato salad with Brussels sprouts aside.
A lot of other things are to do, too, mostly reading (7day -ebook) and writing. I must stay motivated, I simply must. The Saturday phone calls are a burden for me. Turn off the voice I tell myself, the phone call is over. My life is not yet over, I don't want to get these messages each weekend in most subtle ways. I could also think: Perhaps someone is caring for me, but I don't want this either. Turn it off, turn it off this radio. Only 10 years and then I can retire, then I can sit on the sofa all day long, such an attitude shall not be mine. Especially when starting something new, something that has not yet manifested fearful voices are a disaster. "Will you ever get a new job?" I don't want to hear this and I hear sentences like this for decades. Such words are nothing but brakes in my mind. I always got a job and I always lost it. Fine, where is the problem, I won't starve. To read books from Bandler and Zelinski keep me motivated to go on with a more active life. Those who feel weak are weak, those who feel old are old. I feel not bloody young, but great. Yes. Less and less I allow my mind to set myself unnecessary limits. Simply to survive is not enough for me, I want to enjoy my life and I do. Others shall care of their own lives. Amen. I am not interested in recommendations that come out of fear. Jump and the net will appear are sentences I like. I also don't want to move in a bigger flat, to be more representative or to be able to invite people. I don't want to impress anybody. It is really tiny here, but the rent allows me to travel to India and to stay there for a while. This is my lifestyle. I prefer to see the world than to hide myself on the sofa in front of the TV. Perhaps one day we will move in a bigger flat, but it's not the time. A tiny flat has advantages as it does not allow to collect too many things. It reminds me to let go.
Grggghhh, this felt good. Even though I know that everybody acts and speaks as best as it is possible at a given time, I was fed up to listen to pessimistic points of view. No one is really responsible for what's happening. Yes, yes, yes, I only prefer more uplifting supporting messages than fearful ones.

A yoga free day can be relaxing from time to time. It is good to listen to the body. When I had only home practices I had the feeling I need a yoga practice every day. Nowadays I have intensive yoga Mysore classes, often I am able to reach my limits and therefore a rest day makes sense. I enjoy it.

Yes, I go, I go

I must buy some vegetables for the weekend.........yes, yes, yes........:)


Second coffee is necessary to wake up.
The show of the Brazilian woman was hot yesterday evening when we were out for dinner. She asked men to dance with her on the table. She moved her body more exciting than these men this was predictable, but she managed it to have at the end 10 men on the table and they all tried to circle the backside like she did. We human beings are animals, 99%, I thought. An almost naked woman, she was very generous here, some explicit sexy body movements and we are all happy (at least for a while).
We had fun with our table neighbours, too. The woman next to me loved my perfume. "She has a wonderful perfume", she said to E. "Do you appreciate it, she puts it on because of you." We laughed because E does not care so much about perfumes. "He prefers my natural smells," I told her voluntarily. But she so loved my perfume. I couldn't convince her that my sweat smells better than this perfume. "What is it, what is it", she wanted to know. "It's so soft and warm". She wanted to test how it smells on her skin, but I haven't had it in my handbag. I told her what it was: Fifth avenue. Today she will buy it, I'm sure.
Age was a topic, too. Her daughter wanted to celebrate her 30 birthday in the Greece restaurant. I thought she was 20, which she loved. The mother didn't like her own age, she said: "The best sentence I've heard lately was the one of Senta Berger and her husband: "Each time when we look in a mirror we are shocked." First I thought Senta Berger is shocked when she looks at herself in the mirror and her husband is also shocked when he looks at her. But the husband is shocked when he sees himself. The heart remains young my neighbour was convinced. But she seems to feel like Senta Berger: To look in a mirror is shocking. Hahahahaha.
It was loud in the restaurant, but smoking was forbidden.
Late we were in bed yesterday.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Namaste, have a nice weekend

When I leave the yoga room on Fridays I usually turn around when I reach the door that leads to the entrance room. My hands are in prayer position in front of my body, I bow forward (a bit only) and I say: Namaste, thank you, have a nice weekend. When my yogis/yoginis are in relaxation pose or busy with an asana, I whisper it only and leave the holy place silently.

Weekend: Something is planned for this evening. E and me will go to the smokers club (!), our Greek restaurant. On Friday and Sunday they have shows. A woman usually is dancing on the table, often it is belly dance. Usually we go at 6pm, then we are sure that we get a seat without reservation and people are not yet allowed to smoke. Smoking is allowed from 9 pm on. But then, believe me you can see the addicts. Sharp nine everybody has this cigarette in the mouth, blowing the smoke into the air. Because of this we eat earlier usually, but this means we miss the show. Today we have a reservation at 8pm. We will get it all: the show and the smoke......:) It is carnival here......

PS: This is probably not the last post this weekend. The title could sound like a good-bye for a few days. No, no.........I'll write to you soon......hahahahahaha.

It had to be red today

I needed energy. That's why I dressed myself red. At the end of the week my body is no more so strong. I practiced primary in a led class yesterday in the evening, slept and in the morning I got up again only to go to a Mysore class. My body feels this.
The first surya namaskara A was stiff, my fingertips scarcely touched the floor. But quickly I became flexible. The cold weather tightens the body. I started my practice with cold hands and cold feet. The room was very warm (as always), this is really a luxury. Simply practice, I thought.

Virabadrasana: Once I got the right adjustment and since then I know how to do this pose (so many practice it simply sloppy, not knowing anything about this pose). It is not only the position of the hips that needed to be correct. These standing poses are designed to develop strength. M once held my hips and I was supposed to press my body (the hips) against this hand. I was grounded at once. I realized at once which muscles I had to use to be stable in that pose. Make someone give you this adjustment, it improves this asana 90%. To have the right hip position takes longer.

Marichyasana A: I bow forward, nevertheless it is a chest opening pose. When the one hand can easily hold the wrist of the other hand the next step is to stretch the arms and to pull them upwards. This helps to open the chest.

Strong legs and the hollow of the knees: Also when practicing the sitting asanas the legs are supposed to be strong. This activity of the leg muscles bring the legs and feet in the correct alignment. For me the picture helps to bring the hollow of the knees of the stretched leg down to the floor. That way I use my leg muscles, but I do not cramp my leg muscles.

Ok, ok, ok, there are so many things to consider. My mind is busy with my body and my breath when I practice.......

An intensive yoga week is soon over....

The snow does not bondage me on my sofa. I will go out. Last Mysore class for this week is on the schedule. And then my body needs a day off.
I am convinced: to move the body, my body 90 min every day is really not too much. Our life styles became sitting life styles, but the body loves to move. Let's move.

One of the British designers committed suicide with only 40 years old. This always shocks because there is still the pattern in my mind: successful people are happy. But the circumstances in which we live needn't necessarily influence our thoughts. Couldn't he see that everything is only a story? Couldn't he make the story only a bit brighter, nicer? Obviously not.

How I view the world is not the world. It is easy forgotten. Even our senses cheat. A dog i.e. smells much more than human beings do, but the eyes are worse. Is the dogs world the true world or is how we perceive the world the true world? Consciousness is all there is, the "enlightened" gurus tell us.
When not so uplifting thoughts come up, I tell myself: It's a story, only a story. Does this help me? I don't know, because I do not know how I would feel if I wouldn't think so. Each story becomes boring after a while (sometimes it takes some time), might it be a sad story or a funny one. Then the mind produces new stories. It is endless. There is no end of this entertainment.
Yoga: time to exercise the mind to focus, time to exercise to calm the mind, to stop producing one story after the other for a while. Inhaling, exhaling, also off the mat. Focus will be the dristi, my bandhas, a relaxed face when I practice yoga today.
(No, I don't want to walk around not thinking/dreaming at all anymore, also the thinking mind is wonderful. Not to confuse the thoughts with reality is it. But what do I have to say: Nothing!!! What a relief, isn't it!?! Live goes on also without me being active. Thoughts will come up, too.)

Time to wake up my bf with a few kisses.