Wednesday, September 30, 2009
R and D went to the cinema to see the latest Woody Allen. I saw it already, so I decided to stay at home. I walked down the street to buy me a piece of cake and Red Bull (my favourite drink here). Then I returned home. My bed is comfortable. I relax, write emails, update my beloved blog and perhaps I will even have time for some reading. Later.
Upavistha Konasana A: When I sacrifice my straight back I'm able to put the head on the floor, but I do not like to sacrifice my straight back. Something else I see on the picture. To relax is so important also the face. The front needn't show wrinkles. This shall be my focus next time, relaxation.
Bandhas: Today I realized how much the bandhas can help to perform the asanas correctly.
I used a blanket on my sticky mat today. That way I slide through, I'm no more stopped when my feet touch the floor. As the goal is to jump through without touching the floor, I will probably not practice with the blanket next time.
Time for another shower, a bit of body care..........
So far I have not yet reflected on my further working activities. I hope there comes an enlightenment, hahahahaha. I relax from everything, I enjoy the company of people, I enjoy the Indian lifestyle. All the impressions must sink in.
Before I do anything in the morning I jump under the shower. Also today I woke up sweaty and sticky. We have 3 bathrooms in the house. There is room enough for everybody to shower.
R and D and M have left the house already. But I'm not alone. I love it to live in a community. Even though not alone I feel free to do what I want. I even walk around in my pyjama in the morning. The young lady who helps with everything made me one of the really good chais today. It was sweet and hot, very Indian.
At 9 a lady is coming for satsang. We'll listen to a DVD with Ramesh. I plan to practice in my room today. There is this huge mirror and it can be helpful perhaps to see me doing the asanas. That way I also do not miss the lady.
All the time something is going to happen.......
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I tried hard and I could lift my head and my body when I did laghu vajrasana, but I couldn't come up. I hadn't the energy for a second try.
When I did urdhva dhanurasana today the head touched the floor once, only a bit. My arms were not straight enough. This can happen, it doesn't scares me anymore and it didn't hurt either. It only reminds me to respect the asanas. Correctly done they have huge benefits, not practicing carefully I can even hurt myself.
A daily practice is the secret. Then progress will happen even though it cannot be seen every day.
I just showered and my body is wet again, I'm sweating.
For us this means that we have to lock all our stuff that we urgently need or stuff that we want to keep: money, PC, camera, jewellery. I got a lock from M and I always put everything in my suitcase. I lock it, I unlock it, I lock it, I unlock it, I lock it, I unlock it. I've heard about this situation also from another woman who said that she locks always all her jewellery even though at home.
I experience it as an absolute luxury that everything in the house is done by someone. Like little brownies they do all the stuff to make the life of the midde class comfortable and this around the clock.
This post is a great thank you to the people who do this silent work in the Indian households.
Nevertheless there should be time for my daily yoga practice. Second series, today.
Perhaps the following things will happen:
- seeing the man with the 33 cats
- seeing this wonderful woman who invited us in her home
- going to Taj Mahal hotel for dinner
- seeing A when she will have time
- going to a yoga studio here
- making a day trip to Ganeshpuri Ashram (as recommended by a reader).
As usual, I don't set up a schedule here, things will happen.
Monday, September 28, 2009
And at the end we had this most delicious birthday cake. Everybody got a piece in her/his hand. I devoured every little piece of it and then I licked my fingers clean. Ah, so good.
We have a new member in our little community here. A man from the Netherlands arrived this afternoon. He plans to stay for a few days here.
Our chauffeur drove M and R and me through this hot, colorful, lively city Mumbai.
Inside the car we had air-conditioning.
Michael Jackson: "Beat it."
We: "Beat it." And we clapped in our hands.
HOLD ME, I start flying.
I need a safety belt also on the back seat..........
Soon we (M+R+me) will see Ms mother. In the evening is Rs birthday party. We make no break.
Busy, busy we are.
I just had some fun with taking pictures. It's not only me who likes to take pictures, some Indian wanted to take picture of me. Of course I hugged the 2 ladies who wanted to stand next to me. I put on my sweetest smile I had at that time. And klick, klick. Done.
My skin is sticky. I'm sweating. Oh, I talked about this already. I take a shower 3 times a day now. I reflect on showering even more often. If I only had more towels here.......Hahahaha.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
R said to me that a relative of Ramesh told her: And the German woman was the last one who came and could see him.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
The motto of my last Indian trip was: Relax and all is coming.
This time even "to relax" is no more necessary.
It's all happening.
(M just gave me a praliné............no, I don't comment on this......smile)
Me to M: Have you seen "Slumdog millionaire"?
M to me: Oh, it is cruel, even the eyes of a child were burnt. I prefer movies when a poor man becomes rich. The expression on the face of a man when he becomes rich, so beautiful.
Mmmmmh: This I understand.
M: If you like it in 3 hours I have the movie "slumdog millionaire" here. Do you like to watch?
To be honest, I'm not sure if I like to watch.
M. laughs gives me tender slap on my backside and says: And this is all happening. We are all laughing together.
Then the chauffeur drove us downtown. M had some business meetings and R and me went to a beauty shop. Now my feet and hands are well-groomed again with red polish on my feet nails. All these beautiful shops here, I cannot believe it: Best clothes, nicest jewellery, and all these oils. Mumbai is the best city for women in that world. I am in love with Mumbai.
But the best comes now. I was again at the Sitar class with R. A husband of one of the Sitar players joined us and sat down, listening like me. When the couple left the class, he told me that he was reading my blog. Thank you for having said this. And thank you very much for offering help, in case I need it. I feel at home here.
Picture: The skyline of Mumbai
Today I did the first series, without ambition, I only practiced, enjoyed the place and the air, the solitude, the sea. Of course I had to drop back today.
Then the sun became hotter and I knew that I have to get up earlier when I want to practice in the shadow on that roof.
Time to watch videos by Balsekar. My friends R from Australia and A from Italy sit already in front of the TV on the floor of course.
(Picture of the roof follow, I so miss my big camera)
Afterwards we ate at Govinda's restaurant. And talked about Ramesh, and how we see the world. Even though we just met the first time a few days ago, I feel very close to her.
One blond woman is already too much here, but we both are blond. I think we are an attraction here, but nobody is intrusive. We both together are simply a bit over the top. It is as if we come from another world, which is almost true
Mumbai is safe, also during the night. Only the traffic scares me very much. I know the Indians are very good drivers, but this helps only a bit.
I have another body feeling here, but I've nothing against it. I wake up and my body is moist everywhere. I sweat all the time. Thinking of E, I know he would suffer, because he would sweat here so much. He would go with me to the big hotels (air-conditioning) and there we would spend our days. I bombard him with pictures of India, so it is as if he were here. On weekends he usually is missing me, he told me. During the week he is too busy. No U will prepare him a breakfast on Saturday and Sunday. Ohhhh.
The plan for today:
- I have to draw money again (eveything is more expensive as expected and I spend more than expected, hahahahaha)
- I have to organize an adapter, but I know where to get one (thanks to R.)
- The Italian guy, who was here yesterday will come and see us again. We will listen to videos of Ramesh. In the afternoon we will see Ramesh.
And a last note for my readers who see me as a yoga teacher. M. wants to learn yoga from me. On Sunday I will show her the beginning of the first Ashtanga series. Let's see how far we will come. I will be traditional. When we come to the first pose that is impossible to do, I stop showing another asana.
Imagine: I can do my yoga practice in the middle of Mumbai on a roof, seeing the sea on one side and the highrises around me. The roof has a very well-groomed mosaic floor. I will be alone there. It's possible that R will join me. This is simply too much, it cannot be better. In my boldest dreams I couldn't create such a place. I'm happy, excited, all the positive feeling show up at once.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Warning: For those who read during office times, it is possible that my texts become a bit juicier as usual. Better to read my blog at home. But this is not a promise. Hahahaha. I am on vacation in India and full of energy. I practiced Ashtanga yoga in the living room - full first series, full vinyasa, and second series till laghu vajrasana. As already mentioned, even me, I sweat here, the climate makes my body soft, a wonderful experience.
The book "Clutter buster" is obviously too thin to hold me when I do pashasana, I rolled back. Tomorrow I will use "Yoga school drop out". It's thicker. I always travel with a library.
Laghu vajrasana: I couldn't come up, but I tried, oh I fought, but it didn't happen.
The young lady here in the house was sweeping the floor around my yoga mat and a bit she was cleaning also my yoga mat with her broom while I was practicing. Focus, focus, focus, I thought. Oh, she has wonderful black hair. I love this black hair that is blacker than black.
And when breathing is important, it is worth doing pranayama. I did it.
Then I meditated for 10 minutes, I feel full of energy, but relaxed at the same time. And suddenly I felt a pearl, a last pearl of sweat was running down my exhausted body, tickling me..........
R showed me how to stay healthy. She dries the wet cups with her own clothes. And there is always cooked water in the kitchen. It's better to take this when thirsty. I also brush my teeth with cooked water.
I have black instant coffee next to me. The Arabic coffee (filter coffee) is in the refrigerator. I wanted to have it easy on my first day. To deal with filter bags would have been too much this morning.
Picture: My neighbourhood, when I look out of my room. I miss my big camera. Next time.
M just brought me the newspaper: The Times of India.
I will read it. I'm enjoying my coffee.
Life is wonderful.
All the doors are open here during the day. Only who wants to be alone closes them. This community that lives in this huge beautiful flat consists of M and the husband, the son, a woman responsible for the cooking and cleaning, a chauffeur, R. from Australia and me.
Yes, I'm up. I hear the first voices coming from a balcony and R seems to wake up, too.
And now I'm in search of my first coffee here. Smile.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
And first I have to brush my teeth with filtered water and my electric tooth brush.
Tracy, this first chai I drink for you, that you can come soon to India again.
In the plane next to me sat a woman on the way to Kenia. Her daughter, 33, was kidnapped yesterday. Now she will take care of the 1 year old grandchild in Kenia. In the morning she told me that she stood up at night to walk around, suddenly she was at a totaly different place in the plane. She had lost consciousness. They wanted to examine her after the flight. I hope the story will find a good end. Somehow unbelievable, but I know that it is true.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I said: Right now I am on my way to India. But if you like to wait......I like to help you afterwards.
And he wants to wait. He said so. (Let's see, I mean, I know what promises mean. And he must care for his business.). However. I know I will get another job to survive when I'll be back.
But first comes enlightenment. Hahahahaha. Accounting before enlighenment, accounting after enlightenment. Let's see. I open my arms, and what is given to me, I take and say thank you and smile.
The existence cares for you, Osho said once.
Also for me?
Yeah, suitcase is packed. I sit here and wait and wait and wait. Hahahahaha. And I'm so excited, so damned excited, just like before the first kiss.
It's 30 degrees in Mumbai, this is hot.
I cannot imagine that I cannot sleep in the plane. I've ordered vegan food. There must be a demand for animal free food.
Deep inhaling, deep exhaling, deep inhaling, deep exhaling........
"Shall I give you my tax number?"
"I know it, I am too late with my tax declaration 2008. Must I go to a tax adviser now or do you give me a bit more time?"
"How much time do you need?"
"Till the end of November."
"Oh, thank you." Smile, also a smile can be heard on the other side. This man made my day. Yepeeeeh. This burden is gone now. I didn't like to take my tax stuff mentally to India.
Now I have to vote.
No highlights happened, but I expected this. I was not in a valley today, but I know that those who practice when it's not so super good, will finally be able to master the asanas, also the most challenging ones. Finally the breath will become deeper and deeper, finally the practice can be experienced as a meditation practice: awareness on the mat, awareness off the mat.
Next time I will practice in India.
Next 3 steps:
I want to elect by mail.
I must call the tax office and beg for being allowed to postpone my tax declaration. Grghhh.
Chores, chores, chores, I want that E feels good here alone without me.
So far I do not reread my private journal, nor my blog. I simply have no time for it. I write it and then away with my words and sentences. But perhaps one day, when I will be over 90.....:)
Nevertheless, it's a good exercise to get out of a routine for a while. It keeps oneself flexible. It can bring awareness into life.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
We had a young man in the group, 18 years old. He was a very nice guy. We had the topic "lust". Yes, it is difficult to write about such a topic with 18 and as a man. So J. (the name is changed)had a writing blockade. "You are in best society," S. said. "There was a top journalist at the best German news magazin and from one day to the other he couldn't write anymore. They paid him his salary 2 further years only in the hope that he could write again. But he couldn't. What if you would write about your blockade. Or simply take a topic that is not given. Write about what you want." Also for us "older" writers it was not easy to write something and to read it aloud to a group of people. I've never done this before. And I wanted to read my stuff in front of the group. Satyananda created an atmosphere that made everything possible. He was a star journalist, wrote bestseller, with 82 he is a most lively man, with a sensitivity and experience that allows him to open up 70 year old writers and 18 year old ones. Thank you, I think, thank you.
I know I also have German readers. Satyananda's workshop are best. Go.
Start reading his books and then go to the workshop. Any questions?
I'm excited, of course. Mumbai is something else but Gokulam. But everything is organised perfectly. I have written the address where I shall live in my planner. In addition I have searched for a hotel. Some of my yoga clothes are still on the balcony so that the wind and the sun can dry them. Tomorrow I will pack everything: yoga mat, suitcase, PC, I don't need more.
Time to eat.
It's a summer day here, it's really hot outside. What do I still need to buy, I wonder, to have an excuse to go out for a stroll.
Tomorrow at 10:35 p.m. I will sit in an aeroplane on my way to Dubai and then to Mumbai.
Trapped between steelplate several hours of my precious life were stolen. We stood in a traffic jam. "Is this a good beginning", I wondered.
I carressd his paunch while he sat bored in front of the wheel. I mumbled "wealth, luck and beauty". I learned this technique in Hongkong. A belly is absolutely necessary....Or is this a good beginning.
Kruzifix, verdammte, Scheiße, damned, shit, crap. Perhpas to curse gets attention?
Ah, I simply love to write.
And now I am at home, busy, busy again. The washing machine is working. I have to pick up a book from the mail station. I have to buy a swatch. The suitcase is already unpacked. I'm in a hurry. More of that interesting stuff later........:)
Monday, September 21, 2009
Wonderful were the people I met in that group. I will miss them.
Tired I sit in a bed at my parents home. Tomorrow at 6 we will get up.
Time to focus on my Indian trip. It is as if I fly through my life.
Buh my PC is buzzing, please not, stay healthy.
Nataraj meditation was great yesterday in the early evening. We were all so exhausted that we preferred to meditate instead of to write. Nataraj meditation means to sit down comfortably and to buzz for perhaps 45 min. I buzzed and buzzed.
The workshop consisted of meditation, writing, listening, giving feed-back, sauna, dancing, talking, learning writing techniques. It was a lively workshop.
Email-addresses were exchanged already yesterday. At 2 E will pick me up here and we will drive back to the South.
But first: Dynamic meditation. Huh, huh, huh, huh. (Huh, I feel my clalves. They are sore from the jumping up and down.)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
After lunch we met again. We lay down and J. read us a text by Henry Miller on writing. We laid on our mats. In that position it was even relaxing to concentrate on the spoken words. One picture I remember: Henry compared his writing as fruits that he gave.
Writing has surely therapeutic effects. It is a technique to reflect over oneself, to get to know oneself, perhaps even to free oneself. Also if I do nothing else but writing a blog and my private journal it's good to learn how to express myself so that it is understandable. This is the art. To write that other understand what is written.
I talk so much during lunch that I forget to eat. I've probably lost already some pounds, and the buffet is most delicious here.
Again I'm curious what will happen today.......
Saturday, September 19, 2009
After lunch we drove with the car to the Ostsee. The weather was perfect, a hot summer day. We were armed with a pen and a paper. The task was to observe people and to write down what we observe. 45 % of a good piece is good observance. To look closely, to zoom, to see trifles is something one can learn. The first 2 sentences must be exciting, they invite to go on reading.
A German publisher once said: A good story starts with an earthquake and then the story escalates.
A good text must flow.
It's the first time that I read my text loudly in front of a group and I wasn't shy at all. I even wanted to read. I feel lightness. Writing comes easy, too. There is flow during the day, the group is very open and emotional, honest. There were even tears already. Not mine. J put Kleenex next to the chair where the one sat who read his text.
In the afternoon we did the Kundalini meditation by Osho:
- shaking the body
- sitting in silence
- laying on the floor in meditation, observing oneself.
What a lively workshop. To be lively, that's it. To get rid of blockades. Energy must flow. Then the writing will become lively, too.
to leave behind
arrived at home
with others together
Clustering: Write down a word in the middle of a circle and then write down words that come to mind around this circle. Don't think write. Do it that long till there is a jumping board, a story that comes to mind. Clustering can help if nothing comes to mind.
My story that came up shall be written in an own post.
Friday, September 18, 2009
In the morning we will do the dynamic meditation at 7:30. Time to shower, time to sleep to be fit.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I surely must pack a few nice clothes for the evenings........
So and now I must start packing my suitcase:
Important will be my red bathrobe and shoes to walk and of course my PC, my camera, my yoga mat, my journal, clothes...............
One thing I don't want to do anymore: To practice and to take pictures. It interrupts my practice enormously. Then I want to check the picture I have taken, then I don't like it and I want to do another shot. When I want to see my pictures I have to get my glasses. Then I don't like the clothes I have put on and I search more beautiful ones. And so on.
I was shocked when I saw pictures of myself doing hanumanasana. The hips were not parallel and I am still far away from the floor. I thought I would be much much closer.
Pashasana: I found something that is very helpful. With the position of the head I can balance. When I go back with the heels I bring my head forward. That way I could remain in the position and I didn't role backwards.
Usthrashana: I used the leg muscles all the time.
Laghu vajrasana: I managed it to come up. This was really the highlight today. I pressed the shins and feet into the floor as much as I could. Only for a fracture of a second my head touched the floor. My knees separated when I came up, but it's done. It's hard, but I will be able to repeat this.
Urdhva dhanurasana: No difference to yesterday. I stretched first before I dropped back and I tried to use my leg muscles all the time, hips should go forward and upwards. Practice and all is coming, I think.
Good that I practiced even though I do not have much time. I must prepare my trip to the north of Germany. I still need a birthday present for my mother, so I must go downtown. Buh.
(Instant enlightenment, fast, deep and sexy by David Deida, page 73 ff.)
If this helps in relationship to my parents, who have difficulties to accept boundaries and who always want to interfere in my life? It this exercise will help?
Till now they do not know about my Indian trip. They get crazy when they learn about it. This morning I had a phone call with my mother. The son of a former colleague of my father was on a hunting trip in Siberia. There the hut where they had slept was lit. He and 3 other guys burnt in the fire. And I want to go to India, this is almost the same. "Not everybody likes to sit on the sofa for the entire life," I answered. "You can be killed everywhere," I continued and reminded of the last crime that happened in the underground in Munich. My parents think there are safer places in the world than Siberia and everybody should look for a safe place. The safer the better. My parents drive me crazy. Perhaps I drive them crazy, too, because I do not sit on the sofa all the time (on their sofa would be best). I will tell them via phone 1 day before my departure to Inida about my trip. I hope nothing slips out of my mouth earlier. They will never learn to accept me. They will always try to manipulate me. They will always try to interfere into my life.
"Great spiritual beings love so much it hurts. You can, too. Start with your nipples."
(Instant enlightenment, fast, deep and sexy by David Deida, page 76 ff.)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I just came back from Mysore class. It was a great evening as usual. I tried to come up from ud, I thought that I was close, but I can be wrong. I am glad that I know what I can improve. The hips must come up and forward. It would be better to stretch the body first. And the leg muscles must help.
Supta vajrasana: No way to come up today. B. recommended not to take cushions as a support under the head at home. It's best to really keep the muscles working. It can be helpful as well to press the feet against the floor. This pose is so close and so far away at the same time. It keeps me excited.
I focused on the breath as usual, but I also wanted to relax in the asanas.
What else can I mention: My body is tired now, the mind, too. I could also say, I am very relaxed, ready for the bed.
I was playing today: I took pictures, made videos. It was a great day.
I don't miss a job.
When I want that this life goes on I have to do something for it, I must be smart.
Let's see what will happen. I am so excited.
During the first part of this asana the back is supposed to be straight, chin is on the floor, the feet open like a book.
During the second part the back is rounded and the top of the head is close to the feet on the floor. Knees are supposed to be on the floor. It is a hip opening pose. This is an asana that I appreciate, I have preferences. :)
Lotus pose, then stretching the arms through the legs in order to close the ears with the fingers. A core asana, it must be documented, of course, even though I wish I could look a bit friendlier.