Monday, October 19, 2009

Living in a community???

I loved our little community in Mumbai, consisting of M, the host, 3 guests, the son, and 4 people who helped us with our daily chores (a cook, a washing woman, a cleaning woman, a driver). Sometimes we were 8 people. Often more people were in the house to attend the satsang i.e..

From the first moment on I felt at home: From the first morning on I walked around with my pyjama in the huge flat. Am I shameless perhaps? No, I really think I felt at home. I felt no group pressure. I got up when I woke up or when I wanted to get up. When I wanted to be alone I could close the door of my room, this was usually respected. It was also possible to withdraw in a chair or on the bed and being with myself, but knowing that the others were around me. A feeling of loneliness never came up. In addition conversation happened, or we showed each other our work (pictures, movie, whatever). Or we went out in a group. I got to know new people easily. I had at once a satisfying social life. Of course the conditions were optimal because we had so much help.
When I was a student I had lived already in a community in a large house in Berlin. I didn't feel so comfortable, I felt group pressure. I didn't like to be again in a "family", that I just had left behind me.

I loved to live in this community in Mumbai so much, that I considered if this could became a lifestyle, a way of living for myself and E.

Me: Darling, would you like to live in a community?
He: No.
Me: Why not?
He: Too much anger.
Me: You only don't want that everybody sees that I do 100% of the housework.
He: You are nasty.

(PS: I am in peace with doing the housework and of course when living in a community help from outside is needed also in a Western community. A cleaning woman is obligatory as dirt is always reason for arguments.)

But me too, as long as I am interested in a man, I fear I am not so interested in living in a community 12 months a year. Am I possessive? Probably this too. Perhaps it is simply conditioning. How limiting conditioning is, I just thought. No decision must be made here. As always, everything happens (or not).

Whatever my lifestyle will be, I enjoyed the community in Mumbai. To live in a community can be a way of living. And now I enjoy the togetherness with sleeping E.. He is still sleeping this man........:)

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