Send me some good thoughts, that I know again that everything is best for me as it is. And if it is not best that I'll be able to handle everything with elegance.
The depth become deeper and the highs higher.
To grow older does not mean that live becomes easier.
Bad, sad day today. It sounds better to say day, but night would be closer to the truth. The day was excellent. Perhaps because I have time now that I call this night awfully , a vacuum appeared, that I fill with nonsense, with craziness, speak sadness. Go away you, awful feeling, go away. I don't want to be sad, desperate. I don't want to give up, but probably I'm still searching the wrong things.
How we view the world has nothing to do with the world how it is. I read this during commuting time. I think it is true.
This brash voice inside myself does not stop torturing myself: You don't give up, you do not give up, you do not give up. "Shut up." You do not give up. The solution is nowhere but here and now and so far away at the same time. I feel awfully. I wish I were alone then I could cry shamlessly, and then I would be able to go through it and to call it past, but I am not alone, what I appreciate but so I have to hide my tears.
I shouldn't publish this, but I drank 2 retsinas at the Greece restaurant, I don't want to mention the ouzo, this makes me exhibitionistic. No, I don't blame the booze. This would be soooo easy.
I feel guilty because I am so full of self-pity, while living a luxury pampered life, a child I am nothing else, a stupid child.