Friday, June 26, 2009

It is only energy in different forms

Everything is energy. Step on your mat and practice, I thought this morning. Give your sadness and disappointment another expression but hanging on the sofa being full of self-pity. It is all only energy, it is the task to find a satisfying expression. And so I stepped on my mat, full of negative energy, but energy. Energy is great (neutral), it is how we use it that counts. What a practice. I didn't need breaks. Vinyasas between the poses were performed. I was strong. The sadness changed to stubbornness. I went on with my practice and I went on, till it was almost too late to drop some lines here.

Marichyasana: I wouldn't have given up. I had to reach the wrists today and I did. Grimly I turned my body around, pushed the shoulders down, next side. I behaved as if I can enforce anything. I know that this is not possible, neither on the mat nor in life.

Urdhva dhanurasana: As my body was rather soft today, back bending was good, too. Now I know how to fall, even backwards. How to come up is the question. Do I have to come up on my own? Do I really have to do everything on my own?
(The hidden meaning of difficult poses: On urdhva dhanurasana I worked 4 years. First I had to push me up, it took me a long time till my arms were straight. Then after 2 years perhaps I started dropping back with my teacher. Now I do it alone. I never believed I could do it. I thought I am too old for this. But I can do it now. Simply practicing day in day out made me finally doing it. It is good to observe the thoughts : It will never happen. To give it any meaning is not useful. I don't give up so fast, in nothing, no I don't. Now I have to come up. On my own, I know. I have to grow up.)


Karen said...

I loved this post.
I never thought about energy. I have been working on transforming what I will now call "alone energy" into "spiritual connection energy," talking with my Creator when I am feeling alone.
But what you write here adds another dimension that I truly appreciate.
Thank you

Sraddha said...

I see you don't quit. I know how hard it is to just practice even when you don't see the light. But, then you keep doing it and things start to brighten up. Keep the faith!

Begin - writing, yoga, and more said...

Hi U-
Sending you good wishes and good energy. You are amazing and brilliant and strong.

Everything hard is an opportunity to learn about the self. I hope there are some good points that can outbalance the bad...

You are heading toward an entirely different dream job.


Grimmly said...

Maybe we cant 'enforce' everything all the time but there are days no, when anything and everything seems possible from sheer will alone.

I came up so suddenly and unexpectedly, sure you will too. Walking my feet in a few steps seemed to help rather than walking my hands in.

Sorry your having a lousy time at work at the moment.

Ursula said...

Hi Grimmly,

Yes sometimes we are surprised what can happen to us and it is wonderful, sometimes the opposite.

I am optimistic to stand up one day. I rocked forwards and backwards today. Patience is needed.

Very lousy times at that job, it won't last for an eternity.

Thank you and all the best for you.


Ursula said...

Thank you all, to be on this earth is interesting. U