Thursday, December 31, 2009

Our way home...

It had something. It was night, cold and snow came down. The nature is very strong.

Come on snow man .....

It wasn't that bad, the last year. It was a good year, an exciting year, with many surprises.......

Cold outside, warm inside

It's winter time. I had to put on a lot of clothes before leaving the house, a few of them I took off in the restaurant. It was warm inside this Greek restaurant. Best was our conversation about life, the last year. The food? Let's change the topic. G loved her food. I loved the mocca afterwards. It's the only restaurant here, so what. We all who have food can be happy, and so I see it. I am thankful that I do not have hunger.
It's sofa time now.

Almost ready for the dinner

I put on the wonderful pullover that I got from B., I put on my beautiful black necklace that I got from my mother. G, was not so convinced about my jeans and she is right. I changed it and now I have put on a light blue pair of trousers which goes well with the beige of the pullover and the brown of my jacket. I still have to put a bit of make up on my face, lipstick on my lips and parfum behind my ears. In 10 min we will walk through the snow storm to the Greek restaurant. It's only 10 min away from here.

I wish you all a wonderful evening. New Years Eve is an important evening for me and so often I felt sad. This evening is still important to me, but I let go of the expectations a few years ago. Since then my evenings are great. Inhaling, exhaling. Yepee the game seems to go on for me and for you too. This is something to celebrate. I wish you a relaxed evening, be entertained, perhaps even amused.

My last practice this year was great

I practiced, it was my last practice this year. Primary was on the schedule. I simply wanted to do it and the first surya namaskara A was difficult, stiff. But soon the body became softer and softer. Then I practiced without taking breaks. Flow was experienced.

I feel so good now. I could reach the wrists in marichyasana c and d. I cook hook my fingers when I did supta kurmasana. As an additional exercise I took my leg behind the head and today it was again possible (but not comfortable). Three times I lifted myself up into urdhva dhanurasana. These were the highlights.

What makes the body stiff, I wondered:
- In my case less weight is good.
- If I sleep too long the body becomes stiff, too. I want to have at least seven hours of sleep. But to sleep 9 or 10 hours is too much and the body becomes stiff.
- To be overstretched is not good, but this rarely happens to me nowadays. A danger is when I am in workshops. Then I usually do a bit too much.
- Cold weather or cold rooms influence the flexibility of the body.

For the next year: 7 hours of sleep shall be enough for me.

At 6 we (E, E's mother and me) go out to the Greek restaurant. I love it.
Till then I will live the sofa life: reading, writing, yes that's it.

Still everything white outside....

Time to get up and have a little breakfast. Then I want to practice. I know that it is best to be modest, to be without expectations. I like sandwich this last evening with yoga practices. This morning I will practice and tomorrow morning. Yes.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Time to go to bed

Perhaps this helps to get up early tomorrow morning. I want to practice primary tomorrow. Yes.

We have a plan for tomorrow and a seat

We got 3 seats in the Greek restaurant in that little village where we are right now. That's great, because everybody who can walk wants to be there on the last evening of the year. I checked the menu when we passed by this afternoon. They have veg starters and salads. I will be happy. We (E, E's mother and me) can be there from 6 to 8. Then the next guests will come. But 2 hours for a dinner is enough time. E's brother is invited somewhere else. He seemed to be happy with his plan this morning.

The main streets

The main streets are snow free, but it can be slippery everywhere as it is rather cold (below or around 0° Celsius).

Pictures from the winter walk

Oh yeah, the ears were cold very soon. The wind was icy. The main streets were plashy, but close to the sea in was slippery and snow-covered.

Camping in winter time

People live there even during winter time. One of the campers had made a fire outside. Please may I have always a warm room where I can be. Fears come up when I see this that me too I can end one day in a caravan. Shall this be a motivation for me to find soon an income source. But perhaps people like this life style in a caravan. Who knows.

Buh, is that cold outside

The snow has changed the lake. Wow was it cold outisde. But to move was good. This little walk makes me appreciate again the warmth inside.

Yes, I practiced

The body was so stiff, perhaps even sore and some muscles even overstretched. Is this possible?
New is that I feel my pectoral muscles when I do twists i.e. Perhaps it is good that I can only practice modest. I sweated a bit. This was the success today.
Pashasana was not at all possible. Finger tips didn't even touch.
To put the leg behind the head (eka pada sirsasana) was not possible either.
Accept what is, I thought.
Three times I lifted my body up into urdhva dhanurasana, three times I walked my hands a bit closer to my feet. This wasn't easy either.
Perhaps I was too long in bed, I just thought. This might have made the body stiffer as usual.

Most of us, except some workaholics, prefer to work less than more. But we give our bodies in form of food too much to digest (last but no least this is work for the body). To eat less is always a good recommendation. Less weight makes the practice easier. I don't think that I've gained weight. Nevertheless 2 kilos less would be good, very good. Stiff practices will also happen with 2 kilos less, this is part of the game.

We'll go out for a walk. Something must be organized for tomorrow. Perhaps we still get a seat in that Greek restaurant here. Let's see.......

Perhaps we have to stay here till the 2nd January. The weather report predicts snow and ice and cold temperatures for the next days. Sigh.

Life needn't to aggravate

Life needn't to aggravate only because we become older. Most people put up with worse health when older, but this is not necessary.
Yoga keeps us flexible and strong, healthy. Time to practice, second series is on the schedule today.

Hopefully I got up

When I opened my eyes this morning, I went first to the window to look out and check the weather. What I saw made it clear. We have to stay here. It would be too dangerous to drive home. This means 3 more days at least we'll be in the north. It is as it is.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


It's really warm inside and cold outside. I love it when the snow flakes come down. They only come a bit too early. :)
This evening I've finished my book by Paulo Coelho "Der Sieger bleibt allein" on the sofa. It was a Christmas present from E and I loved it. He knows me well, he knows that I love Cannes and movies and so the book had my full interest. E was watching TV "Troja" this evening.
As I travel always with a little library, I have still enough books with me. And I got another book present: "Everything matters" by Ronald R. Currie. But I think I will go on with the book by Albert Cohen "Die Schöne des Herrn".
Now we must plan something nice here for the last day of the year. For me it is an important day. Somehow, yes. I want to finish every year peacefully, with something nice to eat, perhaps with sitting for 30 min in a hot bath tub, playing with plastic ducks (hahahaha, of course not, just a little joke).
I plan, but life happens and often what is happening is not the same what I've planned. I got used to it and I take it with humor (sometimes). This insight is also a relief. The topic of the last year was: Accept what is, life happens, we are not the doer.

No way

I opened the door to the balcony and I looked out. It is snowing, the streets are already covered with snow. The danger is the Rhön in the middle of Germany. It is higher and therefore it is colder and icier there. We must cross the Rhön when we want to drive to the south. This makes no sense if the weather is as it is now. It is simply too dangerous. It's almost sure now that we'll stay here in the north, far away from my home, my beloved villa motley.

The series: beds in which I spent a night or two....

The series: beds in which I spent a night or two.....

To be continued.....:)

Sofa time

I will change my jeans with my comfortable rose pair of trousers. Then I will read my thriller that plays in Cannes, France. I expect another murder. I loved the book by Paolo Coelho. And that he blogs pleases me very much. :)
A last prayer will be send whom? I don't know. Perhaps the weather is better tomorrow and we can drive home. This would be great. On the last day of the year I want to be at home (home means the Munich home) with E.

Stuck in Hannover

The weather report predicts snow fall and ice for the next days. This will make it impossible to drive back to Munich. It is simply too dangerous. I still hope that it will be possible to drive, but I'm not sure. Then I will have to stay 3 more days here.

This afternoon we spent the day in Hannover. Oh, we found nice clothes, a suit for E, a winter coat for myself and 2 pullovers, a scarf..... many quality clothes are on sales now.
We had probably our last glow wine today. It was very cold, the hot red wine warmed us while we stood outside with other shoppers.

No yoga happened so far.
I so hope that we can drive home tomorrow. I want to cook my three course menu on the last day of the year......

I plan and plan and plan

When I'll be back in Munich I want to renovate my rooms. One room, my yoga room must be painted. The candles and incenses have made the corners of the room dark. I need a new shelf to store all the books and I need a new mattress. These are the next 3 steps. My process to declutter must go on, too. I must go through my wardrobe and drawers and discard everything that is too much. This is a plan......

10:30 a.m. and still in bed

It is 10:30 and I am still in bed. This is not good. Next to me is still someone sleeping. I am at least in sitting position. We have a plan for today. We want to drive to Hannover, the next city. I don't think that I will buy anything. To walk around to take some pictures, to discover new places will be nice....and to have a real black coffee.......

Monday, December 28, 2009

Nature again

Of course manipulated.
We are watching TV with full stomachs.
I will soon read my book that leads me again to Cannes, France.


Manipulated nature - hahahahahaha.

The lake in winter time

Yes, a thriller could play there. In summer time people camp around the lake. In winter time nobody can be seen there. It's too fresh. I loved the freshness. The sun was shining, but weak. It is good to move.

Back from the walk to the lake

I manipulated this picture a bit to emphasize the freshness, the winter. The trees are rotten and look dead till next spring.

Nothing is for eternity

Nothing reminds me so much of the sentence "nothing is for eternity", than my yoga practice. I was stiff today and it was difficult to do poses that should be already easy. Pashasana i.e. was almost lost today, only the finger tips touched a bit and my heels were on a very thick book. Accept what is and go on, I thought. I did a few back bending asanas and a short closing sequence. I have enough for today. My tolerance to feel the stretching pain has reached its limit. I also don't want to frustrate myself with another weak asanas. What is good today, can be lost tomorrow and the other way round. Each moment is new and a surprise.

The sun is shining, time to enjoy nature. There is always something that distracts me.
This Christmas trip was again difficult emotionally.
Right now I want to sit naked in a sauna alone or with other naked people.
I want to sweat so much that I cannot think of anything else but the heat.
What I do is sitting here on the sofa eating pralinés.

Time to move, I must remember: we are not the doer, life happens.

Ah, internet connection

E. connected me to the internet. I was reflecting to take a blogging break. But why?
I have a connection, why not write.....mmmmm.

I am in the north of Germany now. It is cold and grey here. There is a little lake not so far away from here. This afternoon I'd like to take a walk to that place where people camp during summer time. I hope that I can take some nice pictures of the nature. A walk wouldn't be so bad for E either.

But first I will practice. I need it. I don't think that I've gained weight. But to sit on sofas all the time is not what I can stand for a long time. To live means to move.
Ah this is already a plan.
Yoga, then a walk to the lake, then I will have probably time to read my Coehlo and then dinner.
Tomorrow we'll drive to Hannover, to have coffee there and to shop a bit perhaps.
And after tomorrow, we'll drive home. Yepeeeeee. I like to be with myself at home, in my mess.
(Yes, I feel a bit unthankful because I already want to be at home....)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Food again, my last lunch here

Yeah, I love this very German food. It is the dumpling from yesterday fried with onions and red cabbage. As dessert we had pears. There was red wine left, so my mother and me enjoyed a last glass of this red joy.

Oh, I practiced this morning, primary. I didn't omit a single asana. All the vinyasas were done. My yoga week has started. I was not ambitious, why should I? Important was that I practiced. I had put on a T-shirt with long sleeves, so that I felt warm. I even sweated. To jump through was again better than during the last month.

Time to pack my suitcase.

Still in bed

I'm still sitting in bed, but I check already the news in the Internet. Soon I will have a cup of coffee. My parents are already up. This means the coffee is already ready.
I want to practice yoga this morning: primary. I am glad that I have time for it.
After lunch I will drive to H. I will sit in the train for 4 1/2 hours. E will pick me up and we surely will go to this little Teestübchen to have a tea there.

I still want to sleep and to dream. It is grey outside.....

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Apples, bananas....

Soon the healthy time is back again.

Dolls in all shapes and materials....

And now it is enough.....
Reading time.

Another Christmas picture

Yeah, cold outside....and warm inside....:)

It needn't to be me all the time.....

Learning: It needn't to be me all the time who invents topics of conversation. Others have topics, too. :)
It's my last evening here on the sofa. I will read.
Picture: Autumn, also painted by my mother.


Painted by my mother......

...and an angel

It's like in a museum here

Of course my mother decorates

Lunch on the second Christmas day

Dumplings, red cabbage, mushroom sauce with cowberry and red wine. Double what you see and then you know what I have to digest......
I forgot to take pictures of the dessert.

10:30 a.m.

Paulo Coelho begins in his book "Der Sieger bleibt allein" each chapter with the time. I like the idea. I copied it today.
I am up, too late and I won't practice today. It is Saturday. Tomorrow I will start again with primary. Soon it is lunch again. I just had breakfast.
Live happens.
We are not the doer. This is my reminder today.

Friday, December 25, 2009

At the jeweler

It had a reason why my father and me drove to B. The wristlet of the watch, the Christmas present from my mother for my father, was too long. Today every shops are closed, but as my parents have a good connection with the jeweler we could see him today to get the wristlet adjusted. After lunch the jeweler called us to tell us that he had time and that we could come. My grandma had already bought her rings and necklaces there. In the shop I found all different sorts of clocks and watches, it was a mixture of everything. I loved the atmosphere in this shop with patina.
The jeweler made the wristlet of the watch smaller. Then my father found it was too tight, then the jeweler made it larger again. He was very friendly.

It was cold outside.
I am pampered here.
But I like to be at my home in Munich, I am a lonesome wolf.
One of my activities in 2010 will be to improve my home in Munich. It is important to have a nice space.

The afternoon

We, my father and me drove to B. It is grey, dark and cold here. People hide at home.

Of course I cannot complain, nevertheless I wish already to be in Munich at home. I would take a bath. I would listen to music I like. I would burn incenses. I would dream a bit with open eyes.
I knew that I would eat too much during these Christmas days. It is difficult to avoid it. I feel full. I cannot blame anybody but myself.

When I look at the picture I know why I like to live in big cities. It's nice to see people. I like to be among people. I would feel lonesome in small cities.

Difficult to resist

Self-made cookies. It's difficult to resist. Always these little sins that will make my yoga practices so difficult. Smiling. It is as it is.

Lunch, so good

We had dumplings, red cabbage and a sauce with carrots. My parents had meet with it, roulade. I prefer the meatless version. To eat such good food motivates me to cook more. Such a meal is only available at home. We had a glass of white wine with it.

"You must give up something,...."

"You must give up something, when you want to gain something." It was about like that what M told me in the last Mysore practice. It related to my yoga practice and that it is still rather hard. I know he is right. How to make it softer I wonder, what must I give up? The ambition? The fighting? I don't know.
It is also important to see the whole practice and not only the single asana. A forest is much more than the single tree.

But back to giving up something. This is so true for, applicable to many areas of our lives:
- When I want to be slim I have to give up eating the dessert.
- When I want to practice 3 times in a week in the morning in a Mysore class, I have to give up the security of a 9 to 5 job.
- When I want to practice early in the morning, I have to give up being up late.
- When I want to have space in my rooms, I have to give up keeping all my old clothes.
What do you have to give up, to get something else?

To let go IS important.
Inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling.
Simply to observe the breath, alters it already. It becomes deeper.

I practiced without ambition

Simply do it. This I thought this morning. I rolled out my mat. To feel warm I had put on a cotton t-shirt with long sleeves. It helped, I felt comfortably.
I practiced primary without ambition, very cautious. I could only hook my fingers when I did marichyasana b and c. When I did supta kurmasana my fingers could only touch. I didn't drop down into urdhva dhanurasana, but I arched back deeply. I practiced, yepeeeee.
Of course I feel excellent now.

The black madonna from Altötting

An ikon, the black madonna from Altötting. My mother has painted this. I am fascinated.

Up, but it is late already

I sit in the bed and check the news (of my yoginis/yogis). The days are rather calm. I need my coffee first and then I hope that I practice. It is colder her than in my home in Munich, but I don't want to use this as an excuse not to practice.....

I know my body needs the practice. I will will so much happier afterwards.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Sauerkraut and potatoes for me, please

I loved the Sauerkraut and the potatoes with parsley, the white wine, the fruit salad afterwards and the self-made cookies. Yes, it was too much like every year. I don't make any plans for tomorrow. Everybody is happy here with the presents. This is good.

Now we sit in front of the TV/PC. Relaxed. Everything went well. Like every year. But excitement was felt in advance like every year. Now everybody is relieved. Everybody has something to play with. I will now read my new book by Paulo Coelho "O vencedor está só". Of course I read the German translation.

A relaxed time for everybody, for every body, for every animal, for us all.

How we celebrate Christmas

It's 1:30 p.m. and my father takes his afternoon nap, while I showed my mother my Dubai pictures. E is still on the road on his way to his mother and his brother. I sit now in front of my PC writing some Emails, while my mother is in the kitchen. She will prepare the dinner, I cannot help much. This evening we will have Sauerkraut and potatoes, we are Germans, we like Sauerkraut. We won't eat so late, it will be 5 p.m. or so. Afterwards we'll exchange the presents. Sooner or later we watch a bit TV usually.

Pictures are taken at my parents home. My mother loves to decorate.

To give and to take - both is an art, a game

My beloved grandma used to return the Christmas presents often as soon as she has seen them with the words: "You like it more than I do." We all laughed about it. We knew her like that.
What a game these gift giving and receiving. It's a game with feelings, a play with our energy.

I wondered if I know what the people who are around me somehow want from me:
Do I know what my E wants from me? Yes I know and yes among other things he likes me to cook for him. This is something he can get in 2010....
Do I know what my parents want. Yes.
My friends, my fb-friends, my readers?
I think I know: Some want me to write my book, some want to converse with me because of the German language, some simply enjoy me perhaps because of my sense of humor :), some don't want to have contact at all (also this wish can be fulfilled), some like me to publish what I eat. Christmas reminds me to slip into the skin of the people I like to be with. What can I give to others is the question. It needn't to be expensive all the time. Not every wish can be fufilled. :)

I hope that everybody gets what he/she wants. If not I wish that you can laugh about all the giving-taking game. It's created to have fun. And the gift that we all have and most of the time forget: we are here on this earth, we are alive.

For me it is a huge gift to have readers, a surprise and a gift: Sometimes in the morning I say to my bf, when I've checked my statistic (which I do on a daily basis): Darling, do you know how many readers were on my blog today? 200, can you imagine this. Darling, do you know how many followers I have now, please guess? 117. Everything can be a joy, and my readers are a joy for me.

Live happens.

...and good luck, happy practices

...a yoga pose with a ladder......
...happy practices.

At home

I am at home. Time to enjoy the beautiful things with you. Thank you for accompanying me through my exciting year. I wish you all merry Christmas. Thanks for reading and commenting. Take it easy, have a relaxed time.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A day before Christmas

The weather is better means it is not icy anymore, the streets are dry. E suggested to take the car and to drive to my parents today. This is comfortable for me and for him, too as we do not have to carry the suitcases to the station. And we are independent when to drive. Tomorrow morning E will drive to his mother who lives in the north of Germany and I will stay with my parents. That's the plan now.
I still have to wrap my presents.
But this morning I have yoga again. I am looking forward to this last Mysore class of this year. It is second series on the schedule, back bending. It's the last time that I practice half of the first and then the second. Next year I will practice only the second when I practice the second. I have difficult poses to master: to drop down and to come up from urdhva dhanurasana the correct way, kapotasana, karandavasana, bakasana B and now mayurasana. I still have to learn to come up from laghu vajrasana. Oh the list is long. But if I won't practice these asanas, I would never learn them.
I must lose (Anna, just thought of you!) these 2 kilos again. It is so easy to gain weight. With 2 kilos less yoga becomes easier.

Yesterday I met B. a friend of mine and we had dinner together. I am not nervous, I told her, but something must happen next year so that money comes in again. And I don't want to focus on accounting anymore. It shall be either writing, photography or sales. She knew at once that it must be sales when I want to make money. And I know that she is right. I will right my book, of course, but it must be sales, I know it. B. thinks I am capable of doing this. Perhaps this is a small plan........

B gave me a wonderful silk dress yesterday. Sometimes there is an occasion and a dress is needed. Sometimes the dress is there first.....and the occasion must be created......For this dress I must create a real special occasion. I must take a picture of myself wearing this dress, but I still need an idea which yoga pose fits to this silk dress.......hahahahaha (it is not mayurasana!)

My mind is busy with the last year and with the next year. I make resolutions. What do I really want, I wonder. Sometimes I manage it to be in the here and now. I will be in the here and now when I practice yoga. Time to have another cup of coffee and to write my private journal.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The sofa trick

It is an asana for men - mayurasana. Even with the sofa trick I was not at all happy about the result. But I understand this pose a bit better now.
- The elbows have to be close together, which IS difficult.
- It is better to have an empty stomach when exercising it.
- So far I have no clue how to lift the legs. To try it when in padmasana shall be easier.
I played a bit with this pose, this is better than nothing. The pose and me have to get to know each other. :)
Time to dress, I will have dinner with B.

...and now the energy to go on leaves me

I did chores first. I ironed and did the dishes, made the bed, put clothes in the washing machine and later on the hanger.
But finally I started with my yoga practice. And now after the standing sequence energy to go on left me. My body is cold again.......
It is so much more difficult to practice alone.

Up, "too" late....

It shouldn't be that I got up early today. It is as it is. I love to sleep and I love to be in bed. So what.
I still have enough time for everything that is planned: I will practice yoga at home and in the evening I will see B. I want to wrap the birthday presents.
And I want to buy this shelf, it is necessary.......Ah many ideas come up. No stress. First I make the bed, then I write my journal, then I practice yoga, shower. Then the next steps will come naturally. I trust in this. Life happens. I am not the doer.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The past is over....

I allow myself to look back from time to time, but not too long. The past is over. There are new things to come. A vacuum usually does not remain for a long time.
I am so excited about 2010.

Time to go downtown to buy the last Christmas presents......

I leap ahead, at least it feels so

My practice this morning was fantastic, great, awesome. Ah, oh, ah, oh, ah, sooooo gooooood.

I leap ahead. I think so.

Now I must work on mayurasana (this awful pose)........:) grghhhgrhhha. hahahahaha.

Up, yes up.

I had a few nightmares this night, short ones. I woke up, but could sleep soon again. Once I stood up to get me some water because I was thirsty. Sleep was not so relaxing with these breaks. The second cup of coffee is needed now.
Yoga disciplines me. If I hadn't the possibility to go to a Mysore class this morning, I would stay in bed. But so I got up. It is as if I have to go to work only much much better.......

I have the feeling that the intensive yoga I do now touches deeper levels of my body. This can be one reason why it became so important. Perhaps all the tension that is still stored in my body becomes pure energy? I shall see.

Back bending is the focus today.
I feel my back muscles, I feel my pectoral muscles. When practicing second series other muscles are used than when doing "only" primary.

Tralali, tralala, I can go to a Mysore class this morning.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I go to bed

It is still early, but I will go to bed. I want to sleep. I don't want to think about anything. Not to think about anything I can do best when sleeping. :)
I will still look at Sweeney's pictures of the second series. This pleases me. This pleases me so much: I see what I can all do already......
My first series was excellent today. I had a good start in my yoga week. Tomorrow I work again on the new asanas. :)
Time to hide myself in my bed.

It will be the Thai restaurant this evening

I am so hungry already.......

The development of my breath

In the beginning of my Ashtanga yoga practice it was difficult to stick to uddyaj breathing. I was so busy with these challenging asanas, to think of the breath or to match it with the movements was too much.
But finally I got it and forgot it and I got back to it..........
Then I discovered that my inhaling was half as long as my exhaling.
I corrected this and breathed deeply and evenly. I breathed so strong I must have had the intention that everybody in the room must hear me.
Now I breath for myself: soft and long inhaling, but hearable, soft and long exhaling, hearable, too. Perhaps only I can hear my breath, but this is enough.
My breath ushers me through my yoga practice and through life.

A questionaire from a yogi :)

What is your favourite asana?
I do have preferences re asanas, even though they are much weaker than they used to be. But you want an answer and not a philosophy. So, in the first series, it is ubbaya padangusthasana. In the second series it is ustrasana.
Which one you dislike?
Tittibasana, tittibasana.....I am in peace now with garbha pindasana, because I'm admired for being able to do this pose. Often I am here in Munich the only one who is able to do it. :) Nevertheless garbha pindasana is a crazy pose: being in lotus and stretching the arms through the folded legs. What for a person can have such an idea? Only a crazy one.
What is your body-background, which body-arts or movements you experienced in the past?
In school I didn't like sports so much. I was in a school only for girls and I feared I was one of those who had her period every week, because then we were allowed to sit on the bench, watching the others playing volley ball or running around. No, school sports was nothing for me. I am more or less a tiny person and group sports is nothing for me.
First I discovered yoga, then karate, then Aikido, a bit of belly dancing, salsa and yoga again. Yoga was done through all the years. Except of belly dancing I was always very committed, which means training 5 times a week minimum (the martial arts even with men). When B, (my yoga teacher) learned that I did Aikido, she said: Ah now I understand. I didn't ask what she understood. I think it is my commitment and strength?
I'd love to dance. I am not musical. But as I've heard the man has to lead. Hahahahaha. I am with a man who is very musical, but prefers to invite me to restaurants. I am in peace with this.
What is the difference for you between your Ashtanga practice and your earlier yoga styles?
In the early years yoga was supposed to make me flexible. I wished to be able to sit in lotus pose without moving for hours. To be in an asana and not to move as long as possible was a wished status. Then I discovered rather late Jivamukti yoga which combines yoga with music and movement. I was fascinated. The Americans created something new. The source also for them was Ashtanga yoga: Ashtanga yoga combines for me strength and flexibility. The even breath calms the mind. Focus is also something I've only applied in Ashtanga yoga. I could talk and talk and talk about this topic. It shall be enough.
What is your favourite book?
I have no favourite book, it is impossible to make a decision. Re Ashtanga yoga my favourite book for the time being is the one by Matthew Sweeney: Ashtanga yoga as it is. I look at it every day. :)
How many books do you own?
I have a library at home, a collection. I am conscious that one can avoid life when hiding behind books. There is simply too much too good stuff outside that must be read. But to live is better than to read...., believe me (wink).
How will your favourite day look like?
I am very happy with my morning routine: writing my journal, doing Ashtanga yoga, then having a healthy breakfast or lunch.
It would be OK to work for money for 4 hours a day. What can bring me so much money will be the question. And then reading or meeting people, being with E, cooking, writing. That's it.

L, you are very curious, do you know this?
And because you are so young, I used so many colors.
An advice for you: Know that valleys will come, simply go on......

Very slow and very intensive practice

I just saw my watch and I realized that I've finished my Ashtanga yoga practice at 2:30 p.m. Can I still call this a morning practice?
It was a very intensive practice, with few breaks. In the middle of my practice I played a CD a shop owner had recommended me. He told me that a midwife used this CD when her ladies were in labour. The music is very rhythmic and copies the heart beat and breath. I stayed on the mat with this music. It was great and music helps me. Music is allowed.
To practice slowly is easier. It allowed me to go deeply into the asanas. After supta kurmasana I added yoga nidra. It was great, my legs crossed behind my head and I could hook my fingers behind my back. Wow, it was even comfortable. No single asana was omitted. Sometimes I did full vinyasa, but not all the time. I listened to my body, the body is the boss.

At the end I took my green woolen blanket and covered myself with it and relaxed.

I don't know, but for the time being I feel that my yoga practice is more important for myself than a 9 to 5 job.

Afterwards I prepared two cups of ginger tea, one for E and one for myself. I cut an apple, a Brae Burn, and shared it with E. It is something lively and I feel full now.

Classic and vegan, my breakfast

This was my breakfast this morning: black coffee and a sunflower bread with soy margarine and self-made strawberry jam (every other jam or marmelade will do). It is a classic breakfast and vegan. The flowers are the decoration. :)

-9° Celsius

It is a dry cold outside. It made me laugh when I went to the bakery, because it is so freezing cold. Not many people are outside and those who are wear hats and scarves and gloves. Everybody walks faster than usual, couples do not talk, because talking would mean to open the mouth and then the cold could enter the warm body. The frozen snow on the sidewalk gnashes with every step on it. The way to the bakery seemed to be so much longer than usual. Soon I couldn't feel my leg muscles anymore. My body became cold and I wondered that I could still walk. It makes me laugh.....
I only bought Krapfen for E. I am severe with me today, I want to be strict vegan again........I'll have a banana with soy yogurt and as a second breakfast I will have a sunflower bread with soy margarine and jam.

I am up, drinking black coffee

I had to walk around a bit already and I feel that my body is stiff. This message is good, because it gives me an intention and focus of my practice: take it easy. Be attentive. I have not the ambition today to cook my body softly, but to relax my body. The breath shall be my focus, nothing goes without my breath.
But first I write my journal. I never know what comes up before the pen is on the paper and starts writing.

Thoughts on learning come up: I want to go to some classes, I'm thinking of a writing class. :)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

...and tomorrow I start my yoga week with primary

...forward bending.
Time again to be on my sofa, reading my book "Belle du Seigneur" by Albert Cohen, a masterpiece.


I know, some of you like to know: I prepared a salad for E and me for dinner.
The ingredients: field salad, 1 red pepper and some mushrooms. For the sauce I took double as much olive oil than red wine vinegar, and one tea spoon mustard au champagne to give the salad a French twist. This I ate with German sunflower bread. It was something lively.
Time for a tea.

My prayer wheel

I must build my work around my yoga practices.
I must build my work around my yoga practices.
I must build my work around my yoga practices.

And now I start preparing the field salad......

Today I will coooooooook,

and for tomorrow E has invited me in a restaurant. Which one? Who knows.....:)

I will make a 2 course meal, field salad, with fried mushrooms as a starter.
What then? I don't know it yet........

I was sitting in the bath tub,

thinking about beauty and what else can I do for myself.

The old year has still 13 days. As already mentioned, I try not to make myself any stress.
It is very cold here so I bathed and now I feel really warm. What can I do for my beauty, my skin, I wondered.
- It is good to drink water and no alcohol. When I order wine in restaurants I always order also a glass of water, but usually E drinks the water, me the wine. :)
- To keep the skin smooth, sauna visits are a recommendation (planned for Monday).
- In those cold countries like Germany I put lotion on my skin and oil on my feet.
- I don't take sun baths anymore, I stay in the shadow, I protect my eyes with huge sunglasses.
-Enough sleep is good and a smile on the face.

To relax can be exercised on and off the yoga mat.

The most frequent question of 2009

"Does E practice yoga, too?"
My standard answer: "Yes, savasana, my bf likes to relax."

Me to E right now: "E how many yoga poses do you know by name?"
He: "savanasana."
Me: "Savasana, savasana........."

He supports my yoga, this is true, with clothes for me, workshops, support for my Indian trips. More would be too much yoga. :)

Mentally not yet really challenged, but up.....

....yes up. Today is my yoga free day. My body will love it. I need this rest day now.
I will use the 2 hours that I have in addition for some reading (not on yoga).

And I must work on new income sources:
The list:
- my book on "how to stay slim!!" must be written (I know I bore everybody, incl. myself)
- I want to sell anything, I must activate my EBay-account! I think of pearls.
- Shares, yes shares shall be another income source
- till everything is successful I should work part-time as an accountant.......

All my activities will allow me to go to the Mysore class three times in the morning. This IS important.

I have not yet all the Christmas presents: I still need something for my mother.
The 24th I will travel to my parents (just made the decision). The 27th I will go by train to the North of Germany to E and E's mother. The 29th or 30th I will get back to Munich, probably I will be here before E will be back. He usually loves to stay longer with his mother. But I want to prepare our New Years Eve dinner. I will cook something (of course I will post the recipes). We'll stay at home this year. I will buy a little bottle of Champagne to drink at midnight to say dignified good-bye to the last year. This is my plan so far.

Friday, December 18, 2009

I did everything.. that I'll have a good and relaxed start tomorrow morning.
I cleaned the kitchen.
Incense are burning I will even have a good smell in my flat. More cannot be done for now.

It is funny, but....

but I like it that I have a day off from yoga tomorrow. :)
Also the last week was very intensive. I practiced 6 times: 3 times primary and 3 times the second series. wow.

My breath became softer......
My body became more flexible and stronger.
Everything devolops. :)

Oh, it's freezing cold outside

My heaters are all on. I need tea, hot tea, to get warm from the inside.

It was my social day. It is wonderful to meet people in person from time to time. Hahahahaha.
Next time I will remember. The more I listen the more news I get. I admire people who can listen. And A's urdhva dhanurasana is great. Yes!

Time to make the bed, it makes still sense, it is only 5:30 in the evening. :)

Not to avoid anything

I know I am a dreamer.

To enjoy a delicious meal is much better than reading the menu. So true.
Nevertheless I am a hopeless dreamer. It is part of my life.

I don't want to avoid anything in 2010. So many beautiful opportunities arise already now.
Life can only be lived, not dreamed. I will be risky in 2010. Nothing shall be avoided due to fearful thoughts. Life must be lived. Neither the fear of rejection, nor the fear of failing or doing something embarrassing shall prevent me to push my limits, again and again.
Or how written on my page: trust is an invitation to an endless adventure.
Might it all happen what appears already before my eyes, under my nose.

Relaxed practice this morning

"This is especially for you", M told me today. I saw a board leaning against the wall. There I exercise back bending now. And it is so helpful. Yes I am learning, but I am also patient with me. This board helps me to drop back with parallel feet and to come up. I feel how my back opens.
Because of these wonderful Mysore classes with M I do everything to build my work around it.

I practiced this morning without any pressure to accomplish something. I was relaxed. It was the last yoga day this week. Tomorrow is a day off and I cannot believe it, but I am glad not to practice tomorrow. My body needs this rest day now.

Feed-back from M: "Your breath is better. Softer." That's good. I know it is true. I progressed enormously in the last 2 months. I am very very grateful for the opportunity to practice with M. It doesn't matter that I repeat myself.

And afterwards we yoginis had lunch together. A woman from Portland was with us and therefore we all spoke English, something I appreciate very much. :)

In 2 hours I meet my friend A from the creative writing workshop. Great. Love it. I love it to have so much time to meet friends and new people.

Buh, I overslept.

This drives me crazy. I simply do not get out of bed anymore at 6 a.m.. And today we start earlier with the Mysore class. I have still enough time. But I am still so tired. It is cold here. I know, so it is in winter. And outside it is really cold and snow is probably everywhere.

I have a wonderful day before me: After yoga we (the yogis and yoginis) will have lunch together. And afterwards I'll pick up a friend from the creative writer's workshop. Oh, I love to meet her again. I will have a second lunch. I must take care not to eat too much. I don't drink wine anymore. This is good.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Back from the party

which was great, because I laughed...and soon I will go to bed. What a healthy life style. :)

I have time to look back of the year 2009: It was a very emotional year. I was hated and loved, not a bit, but very much, hated and loved. I'm obviously provocative. Hate is not a feeling that is with me. I scarcely hate and I didn't feel hate in the last year, but love and a lot of other feelings, too.
It's strange but some seeds start growing already. I know already that the year 2010 will become a most exciting one in different areas in my life. I only have to go with the flow.
The first time ever I have the possibility to practice my beloved Ashtanga yoga 3 times a week in a group with a teacher. What a future lies before me. :)
I enjoy my long-term friends, and I make new ones.

Important is my list: how to earn money. This is the greatest secret also for me and THE challenge.
Travelling will probably happen too, but not to India.
Life remains interesting.
Now I must go to bed.

Primary today - alone at home

Still somehow happy that the dentist could repair my tooth without putting a crown on it, I rolled out my mat and stepped on my mat. I practiced primary today. I stick to the schedule of M. At the end of the week I do not work on new asanas. I repeat what the body knows already.
I tried to jump through and to go directly into the poses. This gets better and better, too. Then the practice has more flow, vinyasa and asana grow closer together.

What really pleased me today: I could come up with straight legs into urdhva mukha paschimottanasana.
Relaxing pose could have been a bit longer. To relax is a challenge for me. And I know how important it is for me.
Now my belly is super-hot and my backside is super cold. Is this a female phenomena?

I had to warm his hands first

7:30: I jumped out of my bed. Within 30 min I had to be at the dentist. This was impossible. Quickly I showered put on my jeans and left the house in a hurry. Snow came down. I had to walk slowly to the subway as it seemed to be slippery outside. I was late, not on time, but my dentist had still time for me.
I had to warm his hands first, he had icy hands. It was his birthday, so I quickly had a birthday present. It was a nice situation. Me on this chair warming the cold hands of this man. "Do you like an injection?" he asked me. "No", I answered, "I like to feel what's going on." "Me, too", he answered. Am I glad, no crown was necessary and am my teeth are well-groomed nowadays. I brush them after every meal. This is true.

Then I walked home through the snow flakes. Time for my first cup of coffee. First I will write my journal and then I will practice primary Asthanga series. Yepeeeee.

Oh, it is so late...

2 a.m. and I cannot sleep. This drives me crazy. At 6 I have to get up. I MUST go to bed quickly again and pretend to sleep. Perhaps this helps.......

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Lists are buzzing in my head

I will bring it to paper.
What do I want to learn in 2010:
- my English MUST improve........
- and I want to activate my French!
- second Ashtanga series
- I'd like to write better (to write is a craft, too)
- and I like to cook more often, it is experience, too.

Enough, enough, might it happen.

Yoga on and off the mat

To have focus, to relax despite the effort (and pain) are skills I practice on the mat, but these skills can be applied in daily life, off the mat, too.
No single practice is like another one. There is always up and down. So it is in life. To know this, to observe this and to let go is simply wonderful. To judge is a habit of the mind, to observe without judging is often the better habit (and this last sentence implied judging again).

My body gets used to the new movements of the second series. Eka pada sirsasana gets better. I could relax today during my practice. Focus was the breath (as usual). And how is my breath now. Deep breathing can be practiced off the mat, too.

Time to take a nap. Then duties have to be done.

Consciousness is all there is. Everything is a story, nothing else. How relaxing is that thought.

The prison life can be made more comfortably, more beautifully. Nevertheless it remains a prison. Really freeing is to get out of the prison. It is to understand that life happens, that I am not the doer. How relaxing is that. For whom?

From 9 to 12

It is so relaxing that I do not have to be on time. I can leave my home when I am ready. I cannot be too late. This is simply great.

Generosity has many faces...

It needn't to be to give money or a huge tip.
It can also be to smile about the shortcomings of others and the shortcomings of oneself.

"Be generous", I heard on a CD by Sharron Gannon, after a demanding balancing pose. I danced on my mat to keep balance, and got angry about myself. "Be generous", I heard and I had to laugh.

Buh, up on time

It is still dark outside and in my rooms it is cold in the morning. I turn on the heater immediately. Today I'll go again to a Mysore class and I will practice second series, the last time in this week. I bought me a new barrette yesterday so that my hair won't fall into my face when I practice.
I am still a bit tired. My 2 cups of coffee will wake me up.
I am curious who will come today. Perhaps this is the last yoga week this year. I will enjoy my practice.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

They called me "blonde poison"


The hot bath made my body soft and flexible

I just finished my morning practice. It's 4 p.m. Time seems to play no role in my life anymore.
But my yoga plays a role in my life. Due to the hot bath in the morning, my body was soft and flexible. I was able to go deep into the asanas. (A morning bath won't become a routine in my life, it is simply too time-consuming.)

There are 2 asanas of the second series I am not able to do alone. It is dwi pada sirsasana (both legs behind the head, while upright) and karandavasana (not being able to do pincha mayurasana, I'm also not able to do karandavasana).
All the other asanas I can exercise somehow. Also kapotasana, this deep back bending I can practice alone. I can arch back while on my knees, I can press myself up from the floor.

But to take both of my legs behind the head is not possible as the legs do not remain alone there. One hand must hold a leg and then I am no more able to take the other leg that much upwards. Nevertheless as eka pada sirsasana is improving, dwi pada sirsasana will improve, too. I repeat myself, but it is so true: the breath always helps.

And now I eat an apple and a chocolate soy yogurt. I want to lose again the 2 kg. It is so easy to gain weight, it drives me crazy.

My nose has a very exciting life

The smell of coffee woke me up. I decided to take a bath, not a salt bath like my fellow yogis and yoginis do it, but a bath with spruce needle oil. Because it smelled so well, I lit a candle and I put grass oil in the little bowl above the candle. This gives me the feeling as if I am in the nature. I put Australian tea tree oil on my feet. It is a very strong smell, it keeps my feet soft. My deodorant smells fresh, my Arabic parfum oil heavy.
My nose has a very exciting life........

How I prepare my morning practice

How do I motivate myself to practice yoga?

-I roll out my mat.
-My cups of black coffee help.
-I study Sweeney's book before my practice. I look at the pictures and the wish comes up that I want to do be able to do all the poses that I can see there.
-I heat my yoga room.
-I'm up for a while already, after a few hours up, my body is more flexible. It makes it easier to start.
-I make a good smell in my room with oils.
-My yoga-blog helps. I know I want to write about yoga and not so much about all the other things.
-I know: a daily practice is the secret for progress.

Coffee, coffee, coffee.......

I can smell this wonderful black coffee already. Ahhhhh.
With my hot black coffee, the day starts simply gorgeous. Ahhhhh, another gulp
During the night I turn off the heater. Quickly I turn them on in the morning. It is the coffee that warms me from inside in the morning.

I will practice alone at home today. How will it be, I wonder. My weak point at home is that I am so distracted. It would be good to remain on the mat. Concentration, focus, is important like the asanas.

M had a wonderful metaphor yesterday, when he compared the practice with a pencil. The inside is more important than the wood around the graphite.

Monday, December 14, 2009

I don't make myself stress

This year I won't make much money anymore through my hands or mind. Why making stress for myself. The year is over. Almost.
This evening I will sit on my sofa reading a book, "Belle du seigneur" by Albert Cohen, German edition. It has more than 800 pages, it will keep me busy for a while.
Tomorrow I will do yoga at home and then I will do my Christmas shoppings. I also must buy something for myself - a new winter coat.
In the evening I'll meet a friend at a Christmas market. I love to meet P again. Finally this happens.

I relax. This is best what I can do.
I see, I will be able to handle the day tomorrow.

Sirsasana (headstand) can be very relaxing

When I was in sirsasana today, I thought: and now I can sleep a bit......This pose is so relaxing now in comparison to all the other challenging asanas, that I can even consider a little nap when in this pose.
I practiced slowly, enjoyed the asanas. It was a very intensive practice. The limits were felt and I tried to push them.
M exercises karandavasana with me. How great is that. This is my new pose now. Smiling. I go into headstand then I do padmasana. I can do this alone. Next step is to put the flat hands on the floor and to lift the head. Help is needed when I bring my folded legs down and up again. My arms are strong, but not strong enough for this pose.
I was able to give so much again, that I couldn't hold my body when I did the last chaturanga dandasana. Yes, it was an intensive practice.

How I love to practice yoga.........

Up, up, up

I cannot be late at the Mysore class. I can be there also a bit later but 9. It starts at 9 and it goes till 12. But I want to be one of the first who starts with the practice. That way I do not feel in a hurry.
I am still a bit tired. I don't care. I have still 50 min here in my cosy home.

I must start buying Christmas presents. A list will help.
OMG, I must pay taxes.
OMG, I must.......I only have to think for a while and I will find a few other items that I must do.

Yoga first and I will exercise focus. I will focus on my breath.

Oh it got late

It was a nice evening with H, very nice, but now is bed time. Tomorrow is Mysore class. :)
Yoga has a huge influence on my life style. I developped from a night owl to an early bird.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I don't want that everybody knows that I am a fan of Robbie Williams

Do only I have the issue.
Fb again fb - does really nobody know if it is possible to hide "I am a fan of ......" sides in my profile that can be seen on fb if someone finds me?

My next step is, if I do not find an answer, to become a fan of nobody (but myself). Yes!!!

My body has the last word - always

I practiced in the afternoon. It was good, but my body told me not to go to my limits. I even omitted some asanas. Sometimes a modest practice is better than to give 100%.

I will go out with a friend this evening. She insisted to pick me up. OMG. No, I don't start hectic cleaning now, no, I don't . We haven't met since more than 8 years or so, at least. I'm sure she wants to see my arms and arm muscles. I let her feel them. :)


fb stand for facebook. And facebook has new privacy settings. It is important to think about it.
It is strange but I feel much more private on my blog site than on fb even though the entire world can find my blog theoretically. The reason: I cannot be found via my full name. Someone must know that I've a passion for yoga. Employers i.e. or new people that I get to know usually do not find me in the net. I also write in English, which is a barrier for many Germans. In the meantime I fear yogis in Munich know that I blog.

There are 2 main questions:
First: What do I want to show to whom?
Second: How to adjust fb privacy settings to my wishes?

Back to fb:
1. I decided I don't want to be found via google with my profile picture, my fb-friends and which groups I've joined. Now if someone googles me he/she can find out that I am on fb, that's all. I'd like to change this, too, but I don't know how. (Any help available?) Nobody needs to know that I am on facebook. It is possible to ask me.

2. Facebook has 34 million user. All these user can see my profile picture. This is OK. I know this and I can decide what I show and what not. Some users find that I am cute and want to be a friend with me. Why not. In the beginning I used facebook only as a communication tool for friends I know. But it has more possibilities. Why not to get to know new people. It can be very interesting.....
I wonder if I like that every fb-user can see my friends. I tend to be generous here. Why not. I am an open person. Neverhteless this is something I like to discuss. I also don't know how to change this and I'd like to know how to change this. This can be important during times when I write applications. Then I want to have as much control as possible over the information I give to others.
But I know that I do not want that everybody can see where I am a fan, which groups I've joined and so on. If someone wants to know this he/she must be a friend of mine. But I don't know how to change this setting. Help is appreciated.

I changed all the privacy settings to "friends only". Available is "friends of friends" and "everyone". Everyone can send me a message and everyone can add me as a friend and everyone can see my profile pictures and so far my friends and my groups (what I want to change, but I don't know how as already mentioned).

So far I haven't seen through all consequences. It is a topic to discuss.
Comments are appreciated.

And if someone knows how to hide my joined groups, please don't hesitate to tell me. Thanks.

Ashtanga yoga - all in one practice

I read it in the first book my Gregor Maehle "Ashtanga yoga" and I find it so interesting that I want to share it here. Gregor Maele wrote that Ashtanga yoga is made for people who have a worldly life with jobs and families. A sanyasin usually practices one and a half hour asanas, then pranayama also for an hour, then meditation for another hour. This makes more or less 4 hours with preparation and so on.

When practicing Ashtanga yoga we have asanas, pranayama (uddyjay breathing) and meditation (in movement) together. Only 1 and a half hour is necessary every day to be a true yogi or yogini.

Primary today

It is Sunday and on Sunday my yoga week start with primary.
Focus is the breath. This is more important than anything else.

A checklist for the breath:
-the breath initiates the movements.
-the breath is synchronized with the movements.
-inhaling is as long as exhaling.
-the sound of the uddyjay breathing is supposed to be heard
-to go from vinyasa to asana is also often one breath
-to count the vinyasas (breath) can make sense

The breath calms the mind. Correctly done it refreshes the entire organism.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

This is my blues, yeah, this evening, my blues

I am drinking red wine, I eat chips, between these pleasures I do chores and from time to time I read in a book. I'm listening to blues music. Yes this is my blues today. I enjoy it. After this afternoon everything is accepted that is relaxing. Yes.

I relax......
And it was so good that I didn't practice yoga today.

Tomorrow my yoga week will start with primary.

The world is white here again

This is the view out of my balcony door this morning. The world is white again. Snow fell down during the night. Yeah, it looks nice when the roofs have put on the winter coat.

Today is my yoga free day. I must give my body a day off to digest the intensive yoga week.
I have time to do pranayama. For 10 min I will sit and enjoy silence.