Tuesday, December 02, 2008


Couldn't fall asleep and in the morning it was difficult to get up. Now it is already so late, 11 a.m. to be precise.
This is my morning blues.
My birthday party was in my mind yesterday night and this kept me awake. My birthday is next year, late spring time and I will turn 50. Everybody knows it that birthday parties must be planned very early. Is it really necessary that I let myself make stress because of any expectation from me and from others? It is not possible to please everybody.

(I need a piece of chocolate - I open the 6th door of my Christmas calender. As every year - the future is mine - I usually open more than one door every day, I crave too often for chocolate, I am impatient, I love chocolate, and it is a very special joy to break the rule to open only one door every day. It's such a sweet little sin, I cannot resist).

Christmas is not yet over. New Years Eve is after Christmas and before my birthday. And I cannot sleep because of my birthday. This is what I call perverted - self-made problems. Nasty people would say: "You need a stressy job." I don't think so.
I swear here and now to myself: no stress because of my birthday or a birthday party, either it is fun for me to plan it or I won't do it. Point. It is my birthday. And I am also a nobody (thanks God), why such a theatre because of nobody.

I must remember that I do not have to do anything. The Source has arranged everything for me already. If this is true, I really can lean back and I can be entertained whatever will happen.

Back to 2008. Back to the 2nd December. I will meet a friend early in the afternoon and I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure we will have one of my favourite topics: India. :)


Anna said...

I loathe that pressure to celebrate as well or better than others. It's your birthday - ignore it if you want!

Ursula said...

Yeah, I will try to see the funny side of this all.

Birthdays are overloaded with expectations. In addition I think we Germans are rather stiff, we are better at work than at parties. That's why we often need alcohol to get loose.

Begin - writing, yoga, and more said...

Hi Ursula!

I'm still laughing over the picture of you with your Advent Calendar.

How delightful to open the doors early, because the future is yours!!

(Do you buy extras?)

Now I'll think of you when I see those in shops - we don't usually have one at home.

Happy Advent,

Ursula said...

Hi Marie,

This calender is from E., It's from the company. It contains finest pralines.

As a child I never opened a door before time, oh was I consequent.

We don't buy extras.

Good night.