Tuesday, March 25, 2008

100 degree Celsius

After work I was in the sauna. It's so hot there that I forget everything. Most of the time I sit upright, legs crossed, but not in lotus pose. Sometimes I lie on my back. I held my arm in the little light there and saw how the sweat was running down my arms. I cannot think when I'm in the sauna, it absolutely relaxes me. I sweat and sweat and that's it.

Today I had to go to the boss again. He wanted to inform the people about the new office organisation. He spoke to everybody alone. For me he had additional bad news, how he called it. He is not sure if he will give me a new contract in the end of June. It's fifty:fifty. "If I were you, I would get ill", he told me. This made me laugh. No I didn't tell him that's my yoga practice that helps me to be so relaxed, even when having stress. Stress will grow even more, he told me. I appreciate it very much that he is so honest to me. I can plan my life so much better with this information. The boss is someone who is able to communicate "bad news". This is one of the qualities a leader must have in my opinion. I told him, however his decision will be, I won't leave the company with anger. And that's true.

When I will have to leave the company in summer, again unvoluntarily, it's the forth time that I have to leave a company "unvoluntarily. This must tell me something. I don't know what will happen in summer, but so far I'm relaxed and I can accept "my fate". Something else awaits me. What is it?????


Marie said...

Hi Ursula -


My first thought is that you are being very brave. I admire your calm attitude of acceptance.

My second thought is that 50-50 means that it is as likely that your company will keep you as that they will let you go.

(But maybe part of you actually wants to go on and do something else??)

It is such a good idea to stay calm and be pleasant. That may open other doors for you as well.

I don't know. It is easy to be encouraging to people we care about. But I do see something working out for you!


Ursula said...

Hi Marie,

50-50 is not really fifty-fifty. It was said and this alone means that I'm rather out of the company. I think I reacted professional, grown-up. I wasn't surprised either.

This job is too exhausting, not only for me. The others say the same. And I'm lucky. A colleague has a cummuting time of 4 hours every day.

Dear Marie, I will loose a job, but this is not the end of the world. Something else will come. I'm optimistic and this is good, perhaps I remember this when it gets more difficult to see the positive sides of all this.

Thank you for caring for me.

All the best for you, too. I must hurry now, I'm already late.