Sunday, January 06, 2008

On expectations

.......and how redundant they are.

OK. A story: When E. and I are in a restaurant and when we order half a bottle of wine, what happens? Firstly the waiter fills our glasses with a bit of wine. OK. Fine. Then we drink and soon our glasses are empty. And what happens next? My boyfriend takes the bottle and he fills his glass with wine first. Then he fills mine and often not much is left. This drove (past) me crazy. Can he not give me wine first? I thought. But then I reflected my wish. No, I thought, that's not what I want. Firstly he shall ask me if I'd like to have some more wine. (I do not really know what I want, but this does not hold me back to have expectations, that others shall fulfill.) Often I do not like to drink so much wine and when the glass of wine is full I'm likely to drink more than I want. The absurdity of expectations are clear. They only create unease. I smile now when I see that he fills his glass of wine first. He is so thirsty, I think and I enjoy to see his needs. And I see that it gives me a little more piece of freedom and a bit more of happiness when I do not have expectations. To be curious is such a better attitude towards life than to know how life and the behaviour of others has to be.

Down with all expectations. Life shall surprise me. It's neither possible nor desirable, that people act according to my expectations. It's boring, if this would happen.
And again I discover that everything is best as it is.

This evening he drank a juice and I had a glass of wine. We had a nice evening in one of the Italian restaurants round the corner.

Life is a cosmic joke, that's what I read in Nadeen's book "From onions to pearls", an excellent book. He mentioned his Email address on the last page and I even consider to write him an Email. His book is another piece of the puzzle on my way to wake up. Thank you.


Tim said...

I love this post. :)

Ursula said...

Oh, thank you. Everything is perfect it must only be seen or even better we must feel it. :)

Stellata said...

I love your blog! It is one of my most favorite blogs to read, and this post is just lovely.. such a good lesson, so true. I struggle with letting go of expectations everyday..

Ursula said...

Oh thank you.
I wrote about one of my expectations, but I think they have all the same character. They add suffering to neurotic needs. Oh, I am sarcastic now.

But to see through the expectations of others is easier than to discover the own ones. :)

Have a nice day. Ursula