Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Why it is worth to go to work

- there is free coffee and other beverages for free
- I meet people, without making an appointment
- I learn every day something new without going to a class
- It is warm there, I save heating cost
- I don't spend so much money anymore as a lack of time to go shopping
- I have a huge desk
- I can even make telephone calls from the office phone
- I can feel important
- I have always something to complain

Great disadvantage: my eyes get worse.

At 6 p.m. my handbag was packed. I couldn't trust my ears: my collegue said: "wait, wait, I come with you, I want to go on time, too." I couldn't hide my smile.

On the picture you can see the sky, that I see in the morning, when I start my Ashtanga practice. The stripes are from airplanes. It is light again, due to the winter time.

Tuesday 7 a.m.

Me, again sitting in front of the mat at 7 o'clock. I need more time for my practice now. I start enjoying the asanas, which has the consequence that I remain longer in it. it seems that one hour is rather short time for all these asanas.

Time flies. I will meassure the time next time. How much time do I need for the suryas, for the standing sequence for the middle part for the closing sequence. As a lack of time, closing sequence was very quick today.

I'm always proud when I practiced that early. It is as if I have already accomplished something. Sun is shining in Germany. The day promises already to become a good one.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Without a word...

At exactly 6 p.m I packed my handbag, I took my coat and said good by, see you tomorrow.

I didn't ask her if she had still something to do, or that she should go home, too. It is up to her what she does, my collegue, who comes at 8 a.m. and never goes home on time or before me. I start working at 9 a.m. so that I have time for my morning practice. I did what I considered good for me. No comparison anymore. It didn't touch me anymore, what others do. I worked concentrated, I had a break during lunch time, that was it. Then I worked till 6. There was no reason to feel guilty in the evening that I have perhpas not enough done for the company. I didn't check the news, I only worked. I worked so hard that my arm hurt from entering all the datas in the evening. Time flew. Not everything was done, but I will go to work tomorrow again. And at 6 a.m. I went. It is not my problem what other people do. I was totally indifferent towards other peoples behavior. I felt so good, when I left the company on time.

Tomorrow I will act as today. I feel so much better now. 8 hours of concentrated work is enough.

And at home I found my salary slip in the mailbox. Not so bad either.

Monday morning, 7 a.m.

I practiced.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Sunday evening

Another practice: I switched on the CD by Sharron Gannon. For a long time I haven't practice with this CD. But I improved. Even hanumanasana and pincha mayurasana were somehow satisfying. One thing has definitely changed. A year ago I sweated a little bit and now I sweat a lot. I need a shower after my practices. It is incredible.

What's left to do? Am I already mentally prepared for the next week? There is a highlight. On Wednesday we have a banking holiday. How great. We have winter time now, which means to get up early should be easier. It was a week-end at home, I didn't like to go out, I needed the quiet time. I have not the feeling that I have missed something.

Picture: the backyard


At first I wanted to write how my new working life influences the week-end. I wanted to write that I went to the hairdresser, because I want to look beautifully at work. At the hairdresser I talked about work. At home I irond my business clothes for work. I relaxed to be fit during the week. I did marathon cleaning, because I had no power to do anything at home during the week, due to working life, but then I practiced.

And this is what really counts. This hour and a half was it. I switched the radio on. That was OK, I think and then I worked on second series till leg behind the head, with every single vinyasa. I concentrated on the bandhas. It was pure joy, fun, pleasure. I cannot find words for it. Concentration was there, too. I loved it. Not a single thought about Monday morning anymore. Sunday was already a success due to this practice. And Monday will come soon enough.

On the picture you see the view out of one of my windows. On this side it is already more winter than on the other side. I have to close the curtains now, when I do not like my neighbour take part of my life.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

An entire morning for my spiritual practices

I had time till 1 o'clock. At 1 o'clock I will sit on the hairdresser's chair. As usual I will say to him: Make with my hair whatever you like. I can already see on his face that he likes this sentence.

I practiced. It was a slow practice, rather intensive. In every position I reminded myself to use the bandhas. My body was soft, did what I wanted it to do, no complaining, no pain. Between the asanas I did the vinyasas, but not between the sides. This was enough, I sweated so much. And I had time for meditation after yoga. This is the best time for me. The 1 o'clock appointment didn't cause stress. I had the feeling that I have as much time as I like. Oh, it was so good, how I like these Ashtanga series - a gift for us homan beings. I'm so glad now that I didn't posted my blog of Friday evening, it was only on office issues. Now everything is forgotten, I feel lightly.

It is unusual at this time, but it is so warm that people sit outside the cafes. A simple jacket is enough. Sun is shining.

On the picture the trees in front of my home are to be seen as they were half an hour earlier. They show, that it is fall.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Friday morning

Today was the first time since the beginning of my new working life where I felt way too exhausted to practice a full series. I rolled out my mat. I sat in front of the mat and then I did 7 to 8 surya namaskara A. I went on with padanghustasana. Then I sat in lotus position again and I bent forward. I breathed. That was it for today.

I know that the concept is not correct: But I felt as if I had a certain amount of energy every week and my energy bag was used up today. Correct is I think, the more energy I use the more I will have and get. But today, I don't know, perhaps not enough sleep, nothing more was possible?

I decided to consider the Friday as my Saturday. And perhaps I can still practice in the evening. It could be a new ritual to start the weekend on Friday evening with a yoga practice. BF is in Israel and so I have time for myself. I'm free to do what I want.

I really plan to go home on time today. Yesterday I worked longer again.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Nothing new, I practiced

At seven o'clock I was on my mat. Like at work it is also on my mat. On Monday energy is very high. On Thursday not so much power is there anymore. But there is no discussion, shall I practice or not. I do what I can. At seven I am no my mat. And tomorrow, I know it already, at 7 I will be on my mat and I will give my very best, whatever this will be. It varies.

Picture: the Munich airport

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

It is the first time in my life ...

It is the first time in my life that I organize something: the self-practice Asthanga group.
I asked B., if I were allowed to give her my flyer. She will support this initiative as well. I gave my business cards to the other Ashtangis and asked them if they were interested.

I have a rather good practic at the moment at home. But in a group I'm better. And I like to be together with like-minded people. I hope so much that our self-practice Ashtanga group will be a success, which will bring us through the German winter with much fun and sweat.

I'm like butter under the hands of B.

B. can make with my body whatever she likes. She forms it. She makes a perfect padangusthasana out of it, or a perfect sirsasana A, and even a perfect supta kurmasana. Today she said: we never were so far in supta kurmasana. As soon as her hands touch my body I let her do, what she thinks is good for me. It is wonderful. She has the self-confidence of the men I've known in my life, who didn't care that I'm a little person, perhaps fragile and she has the sensitivity of a woman, too. My body shows no resistance anymore, I let her make with my body what she likes to do. The result: my asanas get better and better, I feel trust and I'm happy.

My most neglected asana

It is Janu Sirsasana B. Somehow I think my leg is not long enough. It is almost impossible to sit on my feet and to open the leg. Often I omit this asana. So I did this morning.

But practice was good. It was concentrated and I enjoyed it. I observed the breath, while I was sweating more and more. I did most of the vinyasas between asanas. From time to time I took a break, I bended forward and waited for a moment. Then I went on. I can see my neighbour sitting in the kitchen, while I'm doing Ashtanga. Everybody has routines in the morning. I'm rather happy with mine.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Boring routine?

At 7 o'clock I was on my mat. It is still something special for me. Not much happened on the mat. I found that the distance between the floor and my head gets larger in dhanurasana. I liked this. That was it. No more to report.

D. wrote me an email to tell me that we can use the kindergarten to practice while B., our teacher will be in India. I already thought that she was not interested anymore, but other reasons prevented her to write. I will design a flyer now. It should be possible to find 5 to 6 people, who like to meet once a week in order to practice Ashanga yoga.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Monday morning at the office

I just arrived at the office this morning, when the boss asked me into his room. (Oh my god what have I done).There he asked me or better he told me that I was supposed to be his substitute while he was travelling. I missed to say, oh what for an honour. I cannot remember very well, but I think I said something like that this means work. I guess I wanted to say that I know that he has a lot of work and now I have it. But what else do I wish than work. I'm not sure if he understood what I wanted to communicate. My collegue was informed as well. She didn't talk the entire morning with me. I enjoyed the calmness. She has the bad habit to make rather loud self-talks, loud thinking and loud phone calls hour after hour. But this morning it was quite in our office. In the early afternoon I told her the joke about the men in heaven and I think everything is OK again. We get a new collegue. Don't want to overload this blog with office gossip. Every day something new happens.

I have still time for yoga, reading, eating, meditation. I want to go slowly in the new week. At 10 I will be in bed. 9 hours of concentrated work and always new stuff makes me tired, even though it is interesting what I do, but not so interesting that I couldn't live without it.

Another tree in fall.

A joke

A joke, that old men, married for forty years or so tell each other:

12 men pass away and get to heaven: there Petrus awaits them.
Petrus says: Those of you who were oppressed by the wife go to the right side.
11 men go to the right side.
Petrus looks at the 1 man on the left side.
Petrus: Why are you not going to the right side? The man: My wife told me to .......


I stood already on my head ...

....on Monday morning. As I can do this, I can also handle all the other challenges of the day. A deep breath, no fear, and everything will go well.

Practice was sweaty. I liked it. More time would have been good. No complaining. It was a very good start in the new week.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Week-end, Ashtanga, Sunday evening blues

After all that food, beverages, all that jokes that I listened to at the birthday party I'm finally at home. It is sure for me now that human beings are not made for sitting on the sofa only. Birthday party was fun, yes. What happened: a former school collegue of my father asked me if he was allowed to say "du" (you) to me. He didn't ask my boyfriend. Why does everybody like to say "du" to me. It persuits me. His wife was very interested in my new job. I told a little bit about it and she was ready to go to work with me tomorrow. She used to work as an accountant as well. It is interesting what I do, but.......at the current state it is all a little bit too much for me.

I picked me up and practiced: second series till leg behind the head. Oh, how I sweated. I don't know if the practice was good. On my mat I enjoyed it. In prasarita padottanasana I don't want to bring the head on the floor anymore. I think it is so much more important to keep the back straight. The idea to take the navel through the legs might be a better picture.

Dhanurasana was good.

As usual I was too fast. I discussed this last time with B., my teacher. It sounded familiar to her and the suggestion was to breath deeper and longer.

I added meditation practice after yoga. And now I sit here and think how I will be able to survive the next working week. I think I need sleep. 8 hours. When I have 8 hours of sleep, I can accomplish something. Lack of sleep is bad for me. I get impatient, I get lazy, I think that I want to go to bed and so on. So the plan is, to be in bed at 10. Amen.

I like the colors of the German fall - see picture.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Another good practice

It is Saturday, but I don't care. The birthday of my father will bring too much food. It is considered as a matter of politness to eat and eat. Yes, this is crazy, but so is our culture. My yoga today was the preparation.

I did every asana, vinyasas after every asana not after every side. I omitted nothing - I also did chakrasana. To sweat becomes easier and easier. No pain nowhere. I scarcly can believe it, but I have the feeling I improved. Breath was there, concentration was there. It was pure fun. I never thought that I could experience this difficult practice like this. After yoga I did meditation.

A slight light at the end of the tunnel is to be seen.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Inner resistance is fading

Today practice was good, too. My body seemed like butter. It is so astonishing for me. It is early in the morning and the body makes what I want it to do. Not to forget it is fun. I do not think anymore: oh how difficult, now setu bandhasana and then dhanurasana. I like the asanas. I 'm looking forward to the next and then the next. I like to relax while I perform an asana. At the moment it seems as if I progress. I enjoy the practice and I think that I will remember these good times with me on my mat. Sure other times will come.

During the week-end we are invited at my father's birthday. I have no present so far. Birthdays always mean too much food and alcoholic beverages. Therefore I consider another Ashtanga practice tomorrow morning before wer are leaving Munich.

My boyfriend on marriage contracts

Last week we were out with some friends, a married couple. We all talked about how busy we were. F. was waving with his hands: "And this week we have to go to the notary to sign the marriage contract. It was always clear that we do that." I saw how the wife looked in the other corner of the restaurant. This made me not so sure if she thought the same way.

At home I said to my boyfriend: "Can you imagine why they make a marriage contract. She has land, they have a house, they both work, they have no children. Perhaps he has more money, and some houses, but so what. And the last shirt has no pockets."

My boyfriend came to me and gave me a tender kiss on my cheek: "Because", he said, "sometimes a little virago becomes a huge virago." EEHHHH.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Yoga supports work and work supports yoga

My yoga is more intensive than during the time where I had plenty of time, because I know this hour in the morning is available for me, nothing more. I'm relaxed after yoga. This is good for the work. My work supports yoga, too. As an accountant I have to concentrate. This is what I can use for yoga. Yoga and work are like a folded hand.

We worked too long. That's what I want to change. 40 hours are enough. Today it was like 1 step forward, 3 steps back, 1 step forward, 2 step back. And at the end of the day I had something accomplished. At the end of the day I could say to myself: yes it was worth that you went to work today.

Yoga this morning

Woke up at 5:00. My bf had to get up that early, but I woke up. My inner clock is working again, so perfectly. I got up too. The more time I have for myself the better.

Yoga practice and meditation practice was good. I sweat like never before. Flow is there. Even my teacher B. noticed yesterday that my body became more flexible. I don't think a lot (even though this is supposed to be, it sounds a bit stupid) when I practice. It is still dark outside when I'm on my mat. My neighbours are up, too, I can see light. But they are not doing yoga. The one neighbour is smoking, hanging around in the kitchen, cleaning windows. She has red hair.

We have to work longer than 8 hours today, probably much longer. I plan already my exit of this firm. I want to stay 2 years. This is enough. But if I can influence what will happen next is in the stars.

When I leave the house I'm already looking for the lunch break: 45 min. Time flies during this time.

A poem by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Sorry it is without translation. I cannot translate a poem by Goethe, that'a for sure. It is the only poem I know. I learned it from my grandma who was teached to learn by heart a lot of poems. During my school time it was out of fashion to know something by heart. But I think it is a good idea to know a few poems by heart. This one is really one of my favourites.

Das Glück ist eine leichte Dirne,
es bleibt nicht lang am gleichen Ort,
es streicht das Haar dir von der Stirne,
es bleibt nicht lang und flattert fort.

Das Unglück da im Gegenteile,
sagt, ich habe keine Eile,
setzt sich zu dir ans Bett und strickt.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

2 yoga sessions today - a new lightness

I felt so light today. I flew through the session in the morning.

Mysore class:

The highlights:
I could hold my wrist in mari d with the help of my teacher.
I went back 3 times into dhanurasana from standing position with the help of B.
Kurmasana was great.

8 hours of work is too much for me. After 6 or 5 hours I want to go home.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Yoga at seven, yes, I did it

There is no later or not at all. At 7 a.m. I'm on my mat. Practice was not so spectecular than the days before, but it was good. Just do it. That's what I'm living at the moment. I don't discuss with me. 7 a.m. I'm on my mat.

And tomorrow I will practice in the morning and I will go to a Mysore class in the evening. Reminder: not to forget the blue mat. I will be a commuting yogini.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Monday morning - I woke up without alarm clock

At 5:55 I woke up. The alarm clock was set at 6:00. This means that I woke up alone. Habits settle. I woke up because I was so excited what the day will bring. Will the practice be good, how will it be at work and so on? It was an optimistic start.

Practice was good. I did a lot of vinyasas, lazy vinyasas, but who cares. My body does not hurt. This fact astonishes me so. It is so early in the morning and I'm flexible, almost liquid. No resistance. Energy is working in one direction. I progress in some positions: prasarita padottanasana and the corresponding upavista konasana are getting better. I experience a high. I sweated so much, that I had to take a second shower.

Work: I start liking it. Today I was busy with the fixed assets. I walked around with a metering rule in order to find the cabinets. My collegue laughed, because she tried to find the cabinets already, but with not so much success. And finally I had them all and I could enter them in my list. What for a success. Our chart of accounts is growing and growing. We laugh together. I paid attention that my diligent collegue left the company with me, which means on time.

Does anybody know the difference between to rent and to hire?

After work I walk home. I do grocery shopping on my way home. At home I check my mails and then I do meditation practice. I had a banana with sojayofu after that. This should be enough. Now I'm somehow not in the mood to iron, to fold clothes. This was the plan, cleaning. But I will postpone it. I need time for me.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Excellent practice

Seems that I gave up some inner resistance. Body was flexible. Nothing hurt. Practice was very good. I enjoyed each single asana. They didn't hurt today. I cannot believe it. Dhanurasana was good as well. At first I feared that pose and I pondered if I should do it. I thought one pose must show difficulties. I did it and it was good, too. It was more an armpressing today, but my arms got stronger, so it was easier. Very astonished what had happened. So many good practices in a row, even in the morning.

Sun is shining in Munich. It is a wonderful day in fall. Picture shows Munich fall.

A random thought: I will see my day as a picture. I will frame it with meditation practice and Ashtanga yoga. What a beautiful frame.

My very first sentence in the net

Once, decades ago, I was at a party. A man was talking to me. During our conversation he said: "I have a fax, a telephone and a mailbox." Oh, I thought deeply impressed, that's fucking cool. Me too, I wanted to say on one of the next parties: "I have a fax, a telephone and a mailbox."
Me:"What can I do with a mailbox, how can I get it?" He explained and explained. He offered to come and see me and to setup this mailbox on my PC. PCs were mainly better typewriters at that time.

One Sunday he came. It was illegal during that time to put another connector into the appliances of the German Telecom. Only the telephone was allowed. Another acces would have been expensive. But I didn't care. I wanted to go into the net. I wanted to be part of the Fido-Net. This was the excisting net at this time. You couldn't be online all the time. I had to ask for the time when I wanted to be online and the operator accepted it or suggested another time. Available time was limited. When the time was over you were thrown out. My time was at midnight for 1 hour. I wanted to be online that late because only then I got the allowance to be online for 1 hour. Messages were sent to the Netherlands and from there to the community members, who could read the messages at the same time.

Most messages were jokes. Just jokes. One joke after the other. I was waiting every day till it was midnight. I was only reading. I was too shy to write and I don't know jokes.

One evening I got a phone call fram a guy. He said his first name, I didn't know him. It turned out that he was one of the operators of the net, who had a point. "You are one of the few women in the net. Rough up the men." Me:" OK, I will do."

After the phone call I walked up and down in my little flat, up and down, up and down. How could I make hot these men via fido-net? This was the great question.

And then at midnight I entered my first sentence in the net: "Auch in der Nase bohren ist Meditation." Freely translated: Also to pick one's nose is meditation.

Believe me, I got answers.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Saturday so far in headwords

Got to bed late, guess it was 1:30 a.m. - got up early, about 8:00 (it is early during the week-end, yes) - wrote my morning pages - new meditation practice - no Ashtanga yoga - second cup of coffee outside with my bf - then cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning till I sweated (don't like to live in a dirty home, this is against yoga rules, against all rules of nice living; I was too exhausted during the last two weeks to do anything at home) - now I'm reading, reading in my new book. I need a cup of tea. Guess I will go to bed late.

Plan for tomorrow: getting up early, morning pages, Ashtanga yoga second series till head behind the leg, meditation practice, cleaning, ironing, cleaning. Later we will meet some friends for dinner. We will meet at an Italian restaurant. I like these people very much even though they are E.'s friends. I will talk a lot tomorrow in the evening, that's for sure. But to listen is important too, I have my blog to let go of everything and I'm also interested in these nice people. I should plan to make them speak. When we meet these people my bf has a little bit the feeling that we are a little bit in competition. Usully I talk much more than he does. Most of the time he is glad that I do so. I get easily in contact with new people and I have always something to tell. But with these friends he likes to talk a lot as well. Another reason to be a little bit more quiete and to exercise being interested in other peoples life ( what I really am), listening and not being so egocentric.

I want to be in bed at 10 p.m.. I fear the next week. I also started finding some pleasure in the new task at work. Is this mixed feelings? It is better I go on reading. Monday is still so far. Glad that this is so.

Picture is taken in Munich downtown - a Saturday picture. It is such a quite picture. Beautiful.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Why is my practice so good at 7 a.m.

This morning again I had an incredible good practice. At 7 a.m. in the morning even though I'm not a morning person I practiced and it was sooooo good.

Why? I don't know. At first I sit in front of my mat, breathing. I'm already proud that I made it so far. I know, I can stop any time. But when I stop it is likely that this was it for the day. The time on my mat is time for me, 1 hour only for me. Then others take my time. So it is a deep knowledge that I want to get out of this time as much as I can. I'm in the flow. I don't need breaks. I'm deep in asanas. This morning i.e. parsvottanasana was especially deep. I relaxed while I was in the pose and got deeper and deeper into it. It is as if I'm in a state between being awake and sleeping. Body forgets to show resistance. I don't know where my mind is, it is just too early for self-talk. Mind is quite, too.

The little voice that I used to hear, that told me to practice later, to take a break is gone. I even do many vinyasas. I ask myself where this voice is? Still sleeping? On vacation?

I don't know why my practice is so good, but it is good. I have the feeling I make a leap ahead.

On the picture you see a lunch table of a Thai restaurant downtown. I wanted to post a lovely picture.

Why accountants laugh

In the accounts department most activities are prefixed. But not everything. For instance if a company works with cost centers it is sometimes not really clear where to enter it. Is it administration? Or is perhaps an employee responsible for the costs. In every firm are nicer people and not so nice people, it is everywhere the same. So today we had an invoice in our hand, we looked at it and asked us which cost center we should use. We could use administration, but we could also enter the amount at another account ......Did you get it. We looked at each other, understanding was there at once, in a fracture of a second we laughed loudly. It was not administration where we entered it.

That's our view when we stand in the smoking corner. She smokes, I take a break without smoking.

Thursday, October 12, 2006


My yoga practice is astonishing good in the morning. Anticipation makes me go out of bed easily. Not easily , but I get up. No, it is not a perfect practice, but I like it. I'm so happy on my mat.

Work is tedious. But my collegue and I, we have also fun. Software is not really working. When we could reach something we claps our hands. Either me or she holds up the hand and the other person claps it and then we laugh. I admire her also. She is so passionate with our accounting staff. From time to time we both go to her smoking corner. Then we exchange our experiences.

After work I'm exhausted, I'm not yet used to it. Today I got my job description, which I still can modify. It was my first job description I got in my life. Oh, it is challenging. I thought I fell off my chair when I saw it. Let's see what I can do or not do.

Picture is taken in South Africa. Oh my next trip will be to Spain, Barcelona in the beginning of November. Yippiiiiiii.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

At home again

Time flies now. It is the opposite during the day. At 9 I start working. At 10 it is the first time that I look at my watch. It is very bad between4:30 and 6:00. Time does not move. Finally I can go home. But this will change, I'm sure. Soon too much work will be on our desk. My college and I get used to each other. Yesterday she even took one finger to her mouth, kissed the finger and threw the kiss to me. I did the same. A good sign. It is the person that I see 8 hours a day. Despite the kiss throwing I'm sure she will not fall in love with me.

Today in the morning I practiced again. At 7 a.m. I sat in front of my mat. After mariyasana a I started with free style. I did a short closing sequence. In total I was again 45 min on my mat - practicing of course. I'm afraid that I miss to leave my home on time. That's why I'm a little bit nervous after standing sequence. I'm looking forward to my practice tomorrow.

A picture from SA.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

45 min yoga in the morning

45 minutes yoga in the morning - second series. There are still a couple of minutes to write in my blog before I have to eat and dress. The first goal is to practice. I did it. Was it a good practice? I'm not sure. The beginning was good and concentrated. I have the feeling that the standing sequence is no more so demanding. Perhaps because I'm so fast? I did dhanurasana. My trick now is to go down with the head, I touch the floor for a fracture of a second and up again. So it is easier to repeat this exhausting pose 3 times. I'm not sure if I progress, perhaps I can hold my level.

Another day is before me. 8 to 9 hours that do not really count for me. What I can see so far is that we always work longer than 8 hours. At 5 p.m. people get busy suddenly. My hope now is that we can go home earlier on Friday. We work on our chart of accounts at the moment.

It is expensive, but at the moment I need a good lunch. I go out at exactly 12:15 to eat. Lunch breack is supposed to be at exactly this time. So many people are layed off at the moment. I'm supposed to be happy to have work. I'm also thankful. Work is so close to my home - this is a huge advantage.

Another picture from the book fair in Frankfurt. I'm looking forward to the next week-end. It is still 4 days. Buuuhhhh.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Advice from my teacher

Last time at Mysore class I asked my teacher if she had an advice. I told her that I omit too many vinyasas. Vinyasas are important.

She gave me the hint to plan only to do vinyasas between the different asanas, but not between the sides. I should do the vinyasas as long as I am capable of doing them. This helped. The goal is easier to fulfill, motivation soars.

To get up at 6 is not that easy, but I'm better than I thought I would be. At 10 in the evening I hysterically want to go to bed. This is the preparation for the practice in the morning. At 7 a.m. I sit in front of my mat. I even enjoy the sitting. The asanas are incredibly easy for me. Perhaps the parts of me who are responsible for resistance are still in bed. I enjoy my yoga practice. It is what I do for me, then I work for others now.

My food/beverage highlight in the evening was my "the a la menthe" (or mint tea). There is a Pakistanian fruit and vegetable shop round the corner. The woman told me that they had fresh mint. She passed it to me to let me smell the good green stuff. I smelled it and bought it and I had a wonderful evening tea.

Picture is taken at the book fair - a talk about a book on people in luxury hotels.

Slight sudden deafness

This morning I had a slight sudden deafness. It was as if cotton was in my ears. Even after my yoga pratice it was there. It is said that this sudden deafness is caused my stress. Seems that I'm not a cool sock. The new job is not easy. During the early morning at work it disappeared. I'm very happy.

Picture: The Indian food that I had at the book fair. It was incredible expensive. It was spicy - yummy. The outfit is not convincing.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

International book fair at Frankfurt - focus India

We are back home. The book fair in Frankfurt was great, I got so many impressions. 80 000 people were expected during the week-end alone. I read in books, I listened when authors were questioned, I walked around, I ate Indian food.

Here only some book recommentations:

Srivatsa Ramaswami and Davit Hurwitz - yoga beneath the surface (ISBN: 10 156924 2941)
All the books by Amitav Ghosh
Vijay Nair - Master of life skills (ISBN: 81 7223 5666)

I could forget my new working life.

A dream: A former lover (couldn't make out who it was) tried to hug me while he said: I want to apologize for ...... . I interupted him and said: It is not necessary to apologize I cannot even remember your name.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Yoga before sunrise

Standing in front of my favourite organic grocery shop I called my boyfriend and asked him what he likes to eat. He invited me for dinner. His idea is a Thai restaurant - my favourite food.

Waiting for him I still have some time to write. Exhausted, this is the correct word, exhausted, that's what I am. So many new people, new tasks to digest. A working day has 8 to 9 hours and this is long. There should be no overloading of work life in this blog.

Back to Asthanga Yoga: Practice was good this morning. As I forgot that it was time for 2nd series, I worked on 1st series. At this time my mind/brain is not yet thinking. 6 a.m is rather early to get up, but it is manageable even for me. In order to survive the next year or two, I will need my yoga. It is difficult to get out of work and to think of something else than the job. That's what yoga can teach me - to be in the here and now.

In fact work is interesting, to have all these accounts on the screen, these invoices in hand is fun. I'm back mentally at work.

I make it short: my highlight of the day was my yoga practice in the morning - far away from being perfect, it was what I really wanted to do. Fun will be the dinner this evening. I don't know a word for what was between these highlights. I only know the result: exhaustion.

Picture is taken at Robbin Island, SA. Robbin Island, the former prison.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Total different story today

In the morning I took the elevator to the offices. I felt so free. Something was different. Suddenly I knew what it was, I forgot to dress my bra. The morning routine is still full of little mistakes. OK, let it swing. It is a good motto: let it swing.

Goal was reached within the first 2 min. We are back to "Sie". I felt ugly and narrow-minded when it was over. It was sort of disappointment that was seen in her face. And I was the black devil. Of course I was polite, more than polite, friendly, honest. Tried to express that I want to have a friendly atmosphere at the office, but with saying "Sie" to each other. I'm sure that we will work very well together. Too many bad experiences in the past - cannot forget them (no beginners mind). The situation is relaxed, friendly and helpful now. We gossip, we go together to the smoking corner (she smokes and talks, I only talk), we help each other, if necessary. All is best today. Guess I'm German through and through.

Chef has had his birthday. Champagne and sandwiches were offered in the evening. 4 men around me, all working in the construction branch and I tell them that I shouldn't drink too much because then I would fall out of headstand 1 hour later. They were sure that they stand on their heads the entire day. Oh it was fun. We all laughed a lot.

Yoga - Mysore class started at 7 p.m., I left the party on time. Yoga is the priority.
Practice was perfect. Flow was there, breath was there and fun, too.

I forgot to mention that my morning practice was good, too, more than good, very good. At exactly 7 a.m I stood in front of my mat. All my cells and my mind were ready to practice.

Bed is waiting. Tired. Relaxed. Peaceful. Optimistic. Will survive the very first week. Not easy.

Picture: what for a nice color - the pale lilac with the black in one of Munichs in-restaurants.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Day of the reunification - a day off

I just came back from the airport. My boyfriend is on his way to Prague. We kept his car on a parking space there and I took the train to get back home. It took me some time, perhaps 1 hour to be at home again. I wanted to wave him with my white handkerchief and he likes this ritual to say good-bye at the airport. So we could be a little bit longer together. Time is always very limitid. Tomorrow evening he will be back.

I sit here, ate my dried mangoes. I'm glad that I got the idea to take hot bath now. The idea came in the right moment just before my mood got worse. And later I need a thriller. That was it . Early to bed, early up.

2 quotes by Danny Paradise

I found the following 2 quotes on his website www.dannyparadise.com . I find them so good that I want to quote them here. It shows the dimensions yoga can have:

"Yoga was created to free people in all ways... from limitations of our minds and bodies, from teachers, teachings, attachments, expectations, from dependency on any peron or thing. It is a personal privat journey to liberation."

"One of the true messages of Yoga is empowerment of the individual and learning to take full responsibility for everything that happens to us."

Picture: It is the view when I'm in samasthiti. We have a very sunny fall day today, so beautiful.

"Sie", "vous" and "you"

Something funny perhaps for the native Englisch speakers, Marie-Claire will understand me.

In German language we have the ordinary you "du", but we have also the formal "Sie", in French "vous". If you don't know someone or at jobs you first start with "Sie". I, personally like to use the more formal word "Sie". Collegues are not my friends. There can be a good atmosphere between people who say "Sie" to each other, but it reminds the people to have respect and not to be too familiar. The new collegue, without asking said "you" to me. That's sort of respectless. It is polite to ask. I wouldn't have accepted to be so familiar. I already had learned by heart a polite sentence to avoid this family talking.

After each company I made the resolution: next time you consist on saying "Sie" to each other. I always failed. Not this time. Many people think that you are a friendly person when you accept the you, but you can also be a friendly person if you do not accept it.

My very first goal now is to tell her that I'd prefer the "Sie". During that long day today she said that she (my new collegue) hates the "Sie". But I think this is her problem. I like it. What for problems. I want to get enlightened and I have to handle these banalities. I need rescue.

I'm a very open person, I can talk to almost everybody, but it is not necessery to be like brothers and sisters and friends with everybody. Vive la difference.

I was out with my boyfriend. I had a glas of wine. The waiter already knew what we will order: me a glas of wine, my boyfriend a glas of beer. My boyfriend is answering and writing Emails now, I'm blogging.

A picture from the end of the world "Cape of Good Hope". My yoga and my travelling are my ressources.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Ashtanga yoga at 7 a.m.

I rolled out my mat at 7 a.m or even a little bit earlier. Oh shit I just remember that I wanted to buy shampoo. Already this morning I had to take the hotel shampoos from my boyfriend. But I was absent after work. I only wanted to go home. I walked home, but if you ask me if I have seen anything, I must say no. I saw nothing, it was sort of absence.

In the morning the mood was different. At first I sat down and breathed. Then I started with my practice. I felt no resistance. Perhaps I was too tired. I was in the flow. I breathed. And in the end I thought, yes I can do it. I did it once, I can do it twice and then every day. Tomorrow is a day off. Of course I will practice. And on Wednesday I will get up at 6 a.m. again, because I'm looking forward to my Ashanga flow.

I had a phone call with one of my friends. We spoke to each other a few hours. Oh, it felt good.

Picture: a tree in South Africa

I survived

My collegue is a nightmare, but the job is worth fighting for it. Point. Don't want to go into details. I'm so glad that my first working day is over. I could already write one story after the other. What I experienced today was exactly what I feared. I don't want to live it one more time. I have to cool down now.

I got up at 6. At 7 a.m. I was on my mat and I practiced. I have had enough time for a very good practice. I think I can maintain this morning practice. And as I see it now I will also need it. I wanted to write so much about my morning practice but my mind is occupied with things that happened after my practice. Back in the rut.

I'm done now. Not that I was productive, but I'm depleted now, exhausted.
The first thing I did when I was at home, was taking off the business clothes. I was hungry. I put food into my mouth and gulped it down. I could run away.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

My soup was so good

It is somehow meditative to cook. My red lentil soup with leek, sweet potatoes, carrots, lemon juice and coriander, ginger, chillie, brown sugar, cumin and some more spices was so good. I was too lazy in the last month to prepare something. I regret it now. I loved my soup, so did E. It was so healthy and I know what for ingredients were in the soup. I've so many good spices at home, they only wait to get used up.

My kitchen is clean again. A clean kitchen is my symbol for a new day. That's what I need tomorrow morning.

Only 12 hours and I have to get up to go to work after more than 2 years. It will be an exercise. I will do nothing exhausting anymore in the evening. I will watch the first evening thriller. I will check my clothes for tomorrow. I will go to bed early. Feelings? Don't know, can't nail them, can't even describe them. I don't know what I shall fear.

The picture is taken today: German fall.

I needed many breaks

I worked on the intermediate series. There is one construction ahead (difficult asanas) after the other. At least I practiced. The standing sequence was rather good. The breathing was always there, and it was rather deep. I have to pay attention that I do not make a round back in prasarita padottanasana. I don't want to give up the correct body posture only for the reason to get the head to the ground. I needed a lot of breaks, but I had the time today.

The middle part was more difficult. My boyfriend helped me to go down into kapotasana. Now I know that I'm still far away from the cushion on my sofa. It is more helpful to take the wardrabe as a support. E. also helped me to go down in supta vajrasana. I don't know how to get down on my own. But it felt well to have the head on the ground. In ardha matsyendrasana I took my arm through the bended leg and grasped the joint of the other hand. This is supportive.
Then free style followed. I tried to get my leg behind the head while I was laying on the floor. Then I tried it while I was sitting. Slowly, very slowly I progress. That was it.

The closing sequence was fast. I fell out of pindasana, I don't know why. Now I feel rather flexible. When it is over it is always good, but I also enjoyed the travel to the end.

The picture is taken in South Africa at the market.