Saturday, September 30, 2006

Saturday - cleaning day

I cannot remember what else I've done so far except cleaning. I did the laundry, I changed the linen, I vacuumed, I did grocery shopping, I even washed my blue yoga mat. I don't want to do more cleaning activities now. It is almast 8 p.m. and the evening TV programme starts. I will do some postures in front of the TV - lotus position, janu sirsasana and the like. But that was it for today. No alc today only green tea with mango aroma. Tomorrow I will go up at a decent time to get used to get up at an earlier hour. For at least 2 years I've forgotten how it is to be tired. When I became tired I could relax, I could have a nap. Soon this will change. I plan to go to bed early perhaps 10 p.m.. To go to bed early is a secret not to be tired in the morning. What a cut in my life.

I will do Ashtanga yoga in the morning. I go through my new schedule again and again. 6 o'clock to get up, shower, morning pages. Yoga time is from 7 a.m to 8 a.m. Then I will have half an hour for breakfast and to dress. I need another half an hour to get to work. There won't be time for questions, doubts or whatever. I'm curious how I will manage this. It is already overwhelming when I write this. But human being gets used to almost everything.

Picture is taken in South Africa. I'd lke to give the picture a title: calm before the storm.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Jivamukti yoga class

I'm sure that if I practiced alone it wouldn't have been such an intensive practice. I could hold handstand as long as it was told. Usually I go out of this pose much earlier. It was a great success for me. I did my thing and didn't look much around, only a little bit. I was happy with what was possible today. I have had a sinful evening yesterday night, with wine and ouzo, I shouldn't forget this.

Breathing in the beginning was a good start. I sat in lotus position all the time without even thinking of changing the pose. This was a success too. Often I think I want to move. I'm relaxed now. I know yoga is my thing. I will go on and on and on. I like it.

On yoga leather bags

Today a woman came with a yoga leather bag to the Jivamukti yoga studio. This woman is not doing yoga, perhaps she is doing asanas. I know "to do yoga" to go to a yoga studio is chic, cool, up to date. But to carry the yoga mat in a leather bag is perverse for me. Perhaps it is forgotten, but leather is made out of animals. This bag means death, often a very cruel death for living creature. A leather bag is not chic, point. And yoga is more than asanas, it is also non-violence.

Fading beauty

I hope that I can compensate my fading beauty with humour, self-confidence and coolness.

More often than I like it, it is a shock to see me on pictures. Me too, I couldn't remain as I was with 30.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

At our Greece restaurant

We were so lucky. The last 2 times we had to leave because it was too full. This evining we got a seat, in fact it was almost empty this restaurant. I had a tomatoe cucumber onion salad and baked aubergines, 2 glases of retsina and 2 ouzos from the owner of the restaurant. And tomorrow we have to party again. My boyfriend has to celebrate his 18th year in one company. That's something. No yoga so far. But tomorrow I will go to a Jivamukti class. It helps to have a group and a teacher.

The evening was great. We planned to go to the book fair to Frankfurt next weekend. The focus of this year will be India. How exciting.

I feel totally relaxed. I guess the alcohol helped. So what.

Lazy times are soon over

In the morning I cleaned my house. Then I went out for dinner. In the afternoon I was in a bookstore. I walked downtown and back and this took me about 1 hour. I bought a book on the International Accounting Standards. This was part of the preparation for my new job. It is always the same: I open the eyes and before I can even think it is in the evening. There is not much time left today. I walked a lot, but I did no yoga.

Tomorrow my boyfriend has a day off. We want to spend most time of the day together. It is my last day off before I have to go to work. I want to do yoga on that day as well. Holy yoga. Perhaps I have to go to a yoga class. Today I couldn't gather enough energy to practice on my own. I don't know why this was so.

I wanted to go to the hairdresser as well, but it is too late now. I feel a deep laziness, resistance in me. Or is it fear? Yes a little bit fear is there as well. Will I be able to meet the requirements of the new job, this is the question. Will I be able to bear all these strange employees for 8 hours. I shall see. So tired. When I think of my new job, I only think of the money that I can spend. And then they pay so late.

Not much to report on the yoga side

That means that I did already a lot this morning, but no yoga. I cleaned my house. I tried to conquer the mess. I did the laundry. This is all part of the preparation for my new job. Everything must be on the right place. I don't want to look for anything at 6 a.m. in the morning. That's how early I have to get up, when I want to do a little Ashatnga practice. Result: I think every room looks a little bit cleaner now. A huge success.

Ashtanga self-practice group: I wrote an Email to D. to make sure that we can use the kindergarten for our practice. As soon as I will get her OK, I will contact our teacher B. and I will ask her when exactly she won't be in Munich anymore. And then I will prepare a flyer. Yes, a flyer, that I will give to B., so that she can give it to her students. I'm curious how many people will show interest. I guess the more people come the more it will be attractive for the other people as well. I guess that our first selp-practice group will be in December.

The lecture was very informative yesterday. It was about real estate planning. The man did his job for 20 years and he seemed to be very experienced. He had many examples. I can say that I know more now than yesterday in the morning. Write your will among other things. It is important. Or do you not care who will practice on one of your numerous yoga mats after your death? (Hahaha).

Ashtanga yoga is still on my schedule. Oh it is so hard to practice alone.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I practiced, CD by Sharath is broken

Yesterday for a fracture of a second I thought that it is perhaps not necessary to form a self-practice group. I had a very good practice in the Mysore class and I thought I could maintain this when I was alone as well. Now I had a very good practice, but it was far away from the practice yesterday in the group. This approves that it is a good idea and worth the effort to built an Ashtangi group during B.'s absence.

I worked on intermediate series. I did a lot of vinyasas, but not all of them. I fear kapotasana, but at least I indicated it. It was exhausting. I practiced quietly (no radio, no TV). I could hear my breath. I got back to it very often. It was a concentrated practice. I was not overstretched from yesterday.

Sometimes I think an Iyengar class would be good. I do some postures rather slobby. For instance in prasarita padottanasana my back is not straight. I force my head to the floor, and give up my straight back. Perhaps an Iyengar class would be a good supplement during winter time. It is said that they are very fussy, but this might improve my poses.

At first I tried to switch on my CD player, but I cannot play the CD by Sharath anymore. It won't start. I do not have the problem with other CDs. Is it possible that I listened to this CD already so often that it is broken? Do I have to buy another Sharath so fast? I know I need his CD.

I am happy. It makes me happy when I practice. Till now a daily practice is not naturally. It is already the first success when I'm on my mat.

From 5 p.m. till 8 p.m I will be at a lecture on "Tax paradise Germany". I'm very diligent. I use my pasttime for further education. It is close to the station in a hotel. I like the atmosphere in hotels. It is like a little vacation.

I got an Email from HR today. The contract is ready to sign now. I can accept all the details, every question from my side is answered.

Paris Hilton only drank Cola at the Oktoberfest. She is reasonable.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Mysore class - I loved it

I felt the flow. I breathed and went from one asana to the next. I did every single vinyasa. I'm a little bit sad that I have a sugar side now, the right one. But neglecting that, it was a really good practice. My body felt flexible. I could give up resistance in the forward bendings and that helped me to get deeper into the positions. Garba pindasana was almost not possible, I didn't get back into dhanurasana from standing position. It was OK for me, I think sometimes that I'm not yet ripe for this position. The flow was so good. It didn't matter if the asanas were perfect. I liked my practice today. I got so much energy from it that I had a lot of courage in the end. This Mysore class was my highlight today. I feel so happy.

Self-practice group: I spoke to all the 5 ladies, who practiced today, that a few other Ashtangis and I want to build a self-practice group when B. will be in India for 3 months. It is really the very first time that I organize anything (except my birthday parties and this is always stress). Only one woman told me: "I practice every day on my own." She didn't even take my business card. But I expected this, too. Not everybody wants to participate. I can live with that. I think I want to have a group for myself. My practice is better in a group. Once a week to get the feeling how a good practice can be gives me energy for the time when I'm alone on my mat. All the others seemed to be interested. I shall see what will happen. I also talked to our teacher. She was cool and found the idea very good. I wanted to speak to her first, but now she heard it while we changed our clothes. I asked her, if she liked to tell it to her other students and she was very open to it. I'm very optimistic today that we will find people to form an Ashtanga group. I'm really astonished about myself that I have the courage to organize such a group. It must be really important to me.

The contract

Another night where I couldn't fall asleep easily due to the new job. I was already in bed, but it made no sense to stay there, my eyes were wide open. I got up and read the contract again. I'm glad that they sent it via Email. I thought that I would get it on the first working day how indicated by the woman from the recruiting company. This would have been rather late. Now I have the time to read it carefully.

It is 7 pages long. Every possibility is covered. Most issues are already covered by the German law in general, so a lot of issues are redundant. I don't like to accept everything.
They want to pay the salary by the 5th of the next month. It is absolute unusual here. I have to pay my rent and other regular expenses earlier, namely in the beginning of the month. German law says also that the salary has to be paid by the last day of the working month.
So far I've not yet signed a contract with the word malicious. Of course the employee is malicious. Fine, I won't discuss this. Fact is we are all monsters.
I have to get acceptance to be allowed to carry on my trade. My trade is important to me. That's perhaps the most important issue.

I didn't expect something else. I sit here, already exhausted, even though work hasn't started yet. I know companies that give new employees a bunch of flowers on the very first day. I'm sure I won't get one flower there. I will get a bunch of problems.

In the next days I will work on my attitude: a positive attitude is best. So far nothing really bad has happened. It is the first job that I start with so many provisos. Perhaps I got too lazy during the last years? I don't think so, but I lived in a shelter. I left the last company on the 30th June 2004. I never wanted to return. I have to dress warmly.

I have too highlights today: I will meet B. for lunch and I will go to a Mysore class.

Monday, September 25, 2006


I want to maintain a daily Ashtanga yoga practice in the morning before work.

I want to maintain a daily Ashtanga yoga practice in the morning before work.

I want to maintain a daily Ashtanga yoga practice in the morning before work.

My new outfit

I'm not yet sure if my new outfit is suitable for my new job. They won't recognize me.

A nice birthday party

The birthday was like a birthday ought to be. From the early morning till the evening my mother got phone calls, neighbours came, guests came. In the morning we had different birthday guests than in the afternoon and in the evening. I tried to help a little bit, but it was not much what I could do. In the evening we were at a restaurant. I had a very good red wine , potatoe wedges with dips and a salad. I could preach a little bit on how good it is to be vegan. Fun talks, too much cakes, and food and champagne, that's how birthdays are. I made a lot of pictures.

I arrived in Munich this afternoon. I have had no time for yoga, but Monday is not yet over. I want to practice. But at first I have to go out for grocery shopping. E. is back from his Portland trip. Right from the airport he went to work. I want to give him some satisfying food.

Do you know what they tell us in the news: "Paris Hilton will be at the Oktoberfest this night." This is no information for the news. It isn't. Do they think people are totally stupid or what. Music, please, music.

Tomorrow morning I will see how sinful the birthday was. I will jump on the scales.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Saturday was my Sunday

I practiced - 2nd Ashtanga series.

Within the next 2 hours I will sit in the car and I will drive to my mother's birthday. To drive a car is always an adventure for me. I'm happy that our car is rather big, so it is safer. It is always amazing for me that such a little person like me can move such a car. That's technique.

I'm very happy with my presents - the brooch, the napkin holders from SA, the letter opener from SA for my father are so beautiful.

Back to my practice. I won't be able to practice tomorrow. I'm sure that from the early morning till the late evening people will come. I want to help my mother, if she lets me and if she thinks I can do anything. My practice was so fast, but sweaty this morning. I liked it. No progress. Left leg is not as good as the right leg, but so what. What was very good was the flow. I experienced flow. I flew. I flew through the practice. Wonderful.

I fear to go back. In kapotasana I feel only fear. I feel so much fear that I think I have to pee (sorry, it describes my fear best). At once I go out of the position, which is only indicated. Assistance would help.

I hope so much that I will maintain a good practice in the morning after having started with this job.

Yesterday I realized that the job means that I won't be able to practice with the gurus in India. This brought me down for a few minutes. Time is running. The earlier I would have gone to India the better. It is as it is. On the other hand I am also thankful for all I have already seen in this world. I will go on with travelling. I cannot have it all at once and I can accept it.

Much more important is that I maintain a daily practice.

Now I will fetch the flowers for my mother, I will pack the suitcase. I'm not sure when I will have the next possibility to practice or to write, probably on Monday.

Of course I travel with my yoga mat. It might be that I find half an hour and then I will take the opportunity for a little practice.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Shopping spree - happy for the decision

It was wonderful weather in Germany today - a summer day.

After my breakfast in a caffee I went downtown: I just asked myself if I should describe all the beautiful and interesting items I found and bought. But I will concentrate on the highlights - it is enough non-yogic issue. I found a beautiful brooch as a birthday present for my mother. I found peccable expensive sunglasses for me, 2 Tibetan caps, mixtures of spices produced by a VIP chef, and so on, and so on. What for a day.

I guess I have already spent a huge portion of my not yet earned next salary. But now I have time, from October on time will be limited due to the new job.

My next step regarding my job will be to reflect on how I can prepare myself: knowledge, attitude, image, time-management. I will think of it all. It is exciting to start working for others again. For the last one and a half years I worked on my own. It is a real cut in my life. I hope it will be a successful endevour.

By the way thank you very much for your congratulations on the new job. I'm so happy to be part of this fantastic Ashtangi community.

You can see another Oktoberfest picture: Life is colorful.

Shock in the morning

The company wants to hire me. Working start will be 2nd Oct. 06. In the morning I had still pointed out the problems I see in that job during a phone call with my boyfriend. Then I put the reciever on the cradle, a second later I got an Email.

When I saw who wrote the new incoming email, my heart stopped beating for a fracture of a second. I opened the email. What I wanted to know stood in the first sentence. I'm hired.

I have to say that there was also joy. Yes, I felt joy, relieve, I got adventurous. I'm curious now. Is it true what I think about the company, the task, the people? I will find it out with open mind.

Now I will go out for breakfast, I will order a glas of champagne, a cup of black coffee and a croissant. I have to celebrate it. Still shocked.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Oktoberfest offer at Jivamukti yoga studio

I thought I couldn't trust my eyes. 25 Euro (about 27 USD) till the end of the Oktoberfest (3rd Oct.) in all 3 studios for all classes. I took my yoga mat and fast I went to the studio. At 6:30 p.m. was an open class. But at the reception desk I was told that this offer is only for newcomers. Oh no, not for me. It would have been too good. But I had an intensive class, which I enjoyed. The teacher was new to me. It's a very young lady, very thin. Now her hair is a little bit grown - I only saw her with a bold so far. She has such a bright smile. I felt consoled at once that the offer was not for me.

During class we practiced hanumanasana, dhanurasana. Paschimottanasana was surprisingly bad. I chanted, I practiced, I sweated, a nice evening.

A man was next to me. I know him from earlier classes a few years ago, when I was very often in Jivamukti classes. He is not one of the youngest persons there, he has long gray hair, that he binds on his head, and he has tatoos on both arms. One can scarcly see the skin. A few years ago he was stiff, stiff, stiff. But he must have practiced regularly. For a long time I haven't seen him. But today I was astonished. He was so good now. It was like when you haven't seen the children of your friends for a while. Most of the time it is astonishing how large they became. This man progressed. I admired it. A slight wish appeared on my brain. Hopefully I progress, too. I guess it is all coming if one doesn't give up.

I had a relaxing day. I went downtown. I walked and walked and walked. I poked in a bookstore and I bought some books. I felt still free.

A day with more lightness

Surprisingly I got up rather early. I had my shower, checked my Emails, but then I jumped on my mat.

I started with the opening prayer. Breathing. 5 surya namaskara As. I counted the vinyasas. 3 surya namaskara Bs. I went on with the standing sequence on my own. I had some deep asanas, i.e. prasarita padottanasana was rather good. Unfortunately my left side is not as flexible as my right side since my injury. This is most obvious in parshvotanasana. Perhaps I should hold the left side longer. This might help to get to rather equally stretched sides soon.

After the standing sequence I switched on the radio. My power faded and the music helped me to go on. The backbends felt good, even though I was not very far into them. I put the huge cushion on my sofa to have a rather high goal to reach in Kapotasana. But I became fear. I didn't reach the cushion.

The closing sequence was a modification: sarvangasana, halasana, matsyasana with straight legs, sirsasana for a few breathes and padmasana.

Then I felt the urge to lay down on my mat. Rest pose. Often I leave my mat after utpluthi.
The rest pose was nice. I felt the hard floor on my back. It was relaxing.

I'm glad that I practiced even though I was rather far away from my possibilities. To practice alone is a challenge, a huge challenge.

It's late at night

The Bavaria overlooks the Oktoberfest. I guess it is quite there now. But another party day and night will follow.

It is late at night (2:15 a.m.), but I cannot sleep. I was already in bed , because I was tired. I switched off the TV even though they broadcasted the movie "Wild at heart" by David Lynch. I saw the film years ago and I liked it. I thought I could sleep. As soon as I was in bed I felt that my eyes were tired, but my mind couldn't stop thinking: this damned possible new job, that I don't want. I feel manipulated. I hate this. I think I don't fit into that company. I don't want to work for a chaos company again. But what to do, what to do. It is the easy way to have a recruiting company that is looking for jobs for me. I should have tried harder to find a job on my own. I know so much better what is good for me. I should have tried harder to sleep, too. Is this possible? I should have been more active, I know this. Instead I enjoyed it just to be. And often I found myself on the sofa. I feel myself like in a vacuum. I was too passive and now forces outside of me try to push me into directions, I don't like to go.

I will make a plan tomorrow. That's always a good idea. I will right it down. That's an even better idea.

I tried to read in a book to get tired. I took the book that I bought in South Africa. It is called Aidsafari. I read the first words and I knew at once that this book is not a book that makes me fall asleep. A gay jounalist writes about his Aids disease in form of a diary. It's a bestseller in South Africa. I saw the book everywhere in the bookstores in Cape Town. To be 30 and to have Aids is really another problems than my humble job problems. I should keep this in my mind.

Many people who were at the Oktoberfest today, will be "ill" tomorrow. There is too much alcohol (beer) there. I'm glad that I had only my potatoes when I was there yesterday. It is too crowded for me there.

Hopefully I'm tired enough now to fall asleep. Second series awaits me tomorrow. Yipeeee.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I feel manipulated

I feel manipulated. I wrote the email to the boss and told him that I was interested in the job, how I was advised by the woman from the recruiting company. But this was exactly what I didn't like to do this morning. Now I'm in the position that I want the job. I wanted to create the situation that they want me. All my other jobs turned out to be difficult. But in the very beginning they were interesting for me, I wanted to do them from head to toe. Perhaps I changed, I'm more experienced now, but the new job shows me the problems from the very beginning. And the problems are not those that I want to solve, because they cannot be solved, they only make life unbearable. These problems made me think of working total independently and to show firms the back.

I already think when and how I can quit the job, that I do not have yet. That's not a good start. Perhaps I see it all too black and it turns out to be the best job I ever had. This can happen, too.

I went to the Oktoberfest. I wanted to walk. In total I walked about 3 hours. I needed fresh air. I thought new and fresh ideas would come into my mind. But I think I will have to wait till a decision is made by the company. And then I will see how it really is. I can only guess how it could be. In fact I know nothing.

The Oktoberfest is very popular - too many people were there. I took a few nice pictures. I even found something to eat - potatoes. I also went into a tent. As expected it was loud, people were dancing on the dishes, many were already drunk. It is fun for a lot of people from all over the world. Not in my wildest fantasies I dream that a drunken man in Bavarian leather trousers touches and hugs me while I'm dancing on a table, dressed in a Dirndl. I prefer to sit on a mountain, watching the stillness or some baboons.

The wrong question

I can still hear people saying: there are no wrong questions. But I doubt this.

One of my favourite question is: Do I like it? Do I like it now? I ask this all the time. Do I like to get up now? Do I like to clean my home? What do I like to drink/eat? Do I like to do yoga? Do I like to do a vinyasa? Do I like to do janu sirsasana B?

It assumes that everything has to be fun all the time. Is that really realistic?

Sure, with fun life is easier. I'm convinced that great deads can be easier achieved in connection with fun. To ask the fun question to make every little decision, might not be the best way to make wise decisions. On the opposite chart stands discipline. Yes discipline is helpful as well. But only discipline won't lead to a fulfilled live either.

Perhaps a balance of discipline and fun is a good way to go through life the easy way.

Now I have 2 questions: What do I like to do? and What has to be done?

I can ask each questions in turn - one hour the first question, next hour the second question and so on.

Gosh, I think this is a very sophisticated entry. I need some fresh air.

The next day

This morning the woman from the recruiting firm already called me. The conditions as discussed yesterday won't improve. She had talked to the boss after the interview. She advised me to write a letter to the boss to assure the interest on the job. I think that this is definitely a pro-active gesture. She convinced me to accept the conditions and showed me the advantages of the job. I discussed every issue (further education, salary, collegue) very frankly with her. I saw more the problems, she saw more the chances. Her success is to find employees. Her experience is that it never fits 100 per cent. She is right.

Unconsciously I might fear that I'm not able to manage the new tasks. But the worst thing that can happen is that they lay me off. I'm already familiar with the situation to be at home. It is not the worst situation.

Now I will write the Email to the boss to show my interest. I don't live on pension so far. I have to find at least one money source. I don't want to end in one of the slums of this world, I wouldn't survive these living conditions.

I woke up this morning and I was in the mood to clean my home. I started doing the laundry, then I did the dishes. A clean home - a clear brain - this was perhaps the deeper meaning of this mood.

During lunch time I went out. I had a mild vegetable-tofu-curry with rice and a glas of water. The waiter offered me an espresso as I had to wait so long.

Job hunting is exhausting.

I was so distracted that I couldn't concentrate on yoga, not 1 hour. A class would have been perfect. As I made a decision now it might be easier to concentrate on other issues than money and job issues.

Sun is shining. I will go to the Oktoberfest. I want to walk to exhaust my body and my mind. I will make some pictures, this takes me to the here and now. And the here and now is often so beautiful.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Bought some drugs - just to have them gives me peace

I bought dried ananas, chocolate (Toblerone to be precise), camembert, kiri and red wine from Chile. This will help me to think clearer in case I eat and drink it. My treasuries are in the refrigerator now. Even to know them there makes me feel better.

Next time I must be better prepared for a second interview. The second interview is more important than the first one. I have to write down my goals. To have them in mind is not enough. Then the results will likely to be better.

Let's face the positive aspects:
-The job will allow me to do Ashtanga yoga. That's my main goal.
-Money comes in, not as much as I wanted, it won't be a super salary, but I guess more than the average German household has.
-I will learn new things, which will qualify me.

Next time when I think about the job it is sure that I got it, that I will become a company soldier.

Oktoberfest: picture is taken at the parade of traditional costumes

After a nap - the job gets grayer and grayer

The more I think about the job I will probably get, the more unhappy I get. I think it is a thrifty company. They beat me down in salary, they won't pay for a little further education, which is necessary. I cannot say something against the collegue in the accounting department, which I saw for a couple of minutes, but I'm not convinced of her either. To spend 8 hours a day in a room with her won't be easy.

Why haven't I worked more intensively on my projects? I need the money now. Perhaps they take the other applicant. That would be fine, too.

This evening:
I will do yoga.
In the evening there is an interesting programme on litterature on TV, which I like to watch. Then I will sleep on all this.
It is a little bit quite here when I'm alone in my flat - E. is still in the US.

Oktoberfest: Beer is the most popular drink at the Oktoberfest. Picture is taken at the parade of traditional costumes.

The second interview

Exhausted. Even though I'm rather cool I'm hungry and done after interviews. It takes all my energy. The big boss joined the interview later. I presented him my advantages. He wanted to know why I had changed jobs so often. I'm prepared to this questions. And now it is likely that I will get the job. When I'm right, I will have to work from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. again from Oktober on. There is only 1 person they still want to see. A final decision will be made at the end of the week. This all will change my life again dramatically, if they want me.

I went to Starbucks afterwards. It became smoke-free cafe. I had a cappuccino with soy milk. I sat down and looked out of the window. Fate. This job will discipline me and my lifestyle, that's for sure.

As I was not yet successful to make money on one of my projects, I think it is good to have at least one income source. I mentioned that I wanted to start working at 9 a.m. and not at 8 a.m, like the others do. This will allow me to do Ashtanga yoga before work. It is possible, I only have to make sure that this is reliable.

My schedule would be as follow:
- to get up at 6 a.m.
- shower and all the things a woman in her forties has to do to look beautifully will take half an hour
- morning pages (takes 45 minutes). Then it will been 7:15 a.m..
- Ashtanga yoga 1 hour till 8:15 a.m.
- 15 minutes to dress and to hug my darling
- 30 min to get to work

It is doable, but stress. At 6:30 p.m. I can be at home again. Three and a half hours will be available for housework, shopping, friends, partner, and projects. At 9:30 p.m. I will have to start my evening routine. If I won't be in bed at 10 p.m., I'm sure that I won't get up at 6 a.m. OH, That's exactly the life I wanted to avoid. My goal was: less work, more money. Nevertheless I think it is a good decision to accept the job. Nothing is for eternity. It will remain exciting.

No yoga so far.
Sad, that I cannot upload a picture now. Somehow the page is not available.

When to start with intermediate series

My evening lecture yesterday was the book by David Swenson. He also said something important on the criterion when to start intermediate series: " should have a sufficient knowledge of the flow of the primary series so that it is not necessary to refer to any external source, such as a video, book, tape or diagrom,......The depth of the asanas is not as important as the knowledge of how to approach them at a personal level." (Swenson, Ashtanga Yoga, p. 129). Hough.

My opinion: the earlier one starts with the intermediate series the better. The second series is more balanced with all the backbendings.

In about 2 hours I have a second interview in a company. I don't like to go. I want to listen to music. It is rainy outside, I want to stay at home. I will go, yes, I will go.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Life is repetition, repetition, repetition

Today I made again a list of ten goals, which I want to achieve sooner or later. I still have to work on the deadlines. I'm happy with the list, but the goals need to be descriped in more detail, I need to know the little steps that lead to the great something. I've done this already so often. And I will do it again with my new list, with joy. Life is repetition.

One of the goals is to improve my English, means learning new vocabulary (sources for this are your posts, unfortunately not every word you use is in my vocabulary - hahaha). And I will repeat grammer.

In this context I checked what happened re Ashtanga yoga during the last year so far. As I do accounting also for my private expenses, I only have to look at my yoga account. Most things cost something.
- The most important step was that I started Mysore classes.
- The most important workshop in the last year was with Danny Paradise.
- I started working on the second series (on my own).
- I also want to mention my new black extra-long mat, which improved my home practice.

To mention these highlights makes me happy.

Other repetitions of today: shower, accounting, dishes, grocery shopping, Email checking, blogging. So is life.

Oktoberfest: the picture was taken during the parade of traditional costumes.

Do I really like Ashtanga yoga?

1. I like to mention that I do yoga, Ashtanga yoga every day. It gives me something special.

2. I like to plan a trip to Mysore as I think the time is ripe. A pilgrimage is fun for me.

3. I like Ashtanga yoga after the practice. Yes, that's a nice feeling to have it behind me.

4. I like the breathing. Sometimes I'm in bed and I feel the urge to do uddjayi breathing (if I only knew how to spell it).

5. I love the asanas: uttanasana, ardha padha padmottanasana, halasana, matsyasana with straight legs, janu sirsasana A, only to mention a few. In fact I like the most asanas. Those asanas that I do not like, I at least try to like them. I know that this helps a lot to progress.

6. I like to blog about Ashtanga yoga.

7. I like the Ashtanga community.

8. I like reading books on Ashtanga yoga.

Enough love to accept that it is hard from time to time to jump on the mat.

Oktoberfest: Picture is taken at the parade of traditional costumes.

Monday morning

My morning routine was a mess:

- I got up too late, that's not something new.
- I switched on the PC before the shower. This is always time-consuming.
- Then I had a shower, I wrote my morning pages, drinking the second cup of coffee.
- Then I returned to the PC and wrote some Emails.
- Finally I practiced.

Wished routine: getting up on time, shower, morning pages with a cup of coffee, Ashtanga yoga, breakfast, PC.

I asked B., my teacher via email if there will be a place in the Mysore class on Wednesday. The answer was that she would be going to meditate. I like to hear this. This tells me that B. is a very committed teacher. For me this means no Mysore class for 4 weeks now. Disappointing. I wanted to work on my drop backs. Nothing is predictable. I want to be independant, but I know that the group, the adjustments, help me enormously.

Then I wanted to switch on the CD by Sharath to have an exhausting, challenging practice, but my CD player stroke. I couldn't start the CD. I hope I can repair it.

I practiced on my own. It was a good practice, first series. I omitted most of the vinyasas and janu sirsasana B + C. So is my practice at home. I sweated, I was concentrated, that's something.

I asked myself how teacher go on with their practice. I have the feeling that I have a limited power at home. I don't reach my boundaries. I have to go to the well sometimes to have most intensive practices. The well is a Mysore class, a led class, sometimes a CD. When I practice totally on my own I never go so far as I go in a class. I'm not able to do it. But I want to have these highlights of a very good practice from time to time. Not every day, but let's say once a week. I think more and more of looking for a room and starting a self-practice group. That's what I need. We already discussed this with 3 Ashtangis. Only one woman wrote back. 2 people is not enough. I know that it means more effort to build a regular group than just to mention it a few times. I have to talk to a lot of Ashtangis. I have to publish an ad perhaps and so on.

Oktoberfest: Picture was taken at the parade of traditional costumes.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sunday evening - I start a list

Finally I managed to practice. In the late morning I was downtown to watch the parade that went to the Oktoberfest. As I got up that early today to take E. to the airport, I was tired in the afternoon. I wanted to take a nap, but I slept rather deeply. When I woke up I felt stiff and somehow feverish. I ate. I waited for a while, but then I rolled out my mat and I practiced.

It was good, but I cannot report real highlights. At once the question arises: Do I make any progress at all? But this question leads to nothing. It is always an up and down. Practice was calm and intensive. It was something that I'd call a practice. I only omitted a few vinyasas. I always stop in the middle of the second series, so I did today. It makes no sense to go on. Garba pindasana was too difficult today. I don't know why. I fell out of this pose several times. Of course I forgot to smile. I do it now - just as a reminder.

Kapotasana: I got a new idea how to approach this asana. When I got back I tried to reach the wardrobe so far. Now I put a huge cushion on my sofa and I try to reach this cushion with my hands. The cushion that I like to touch with my hands is rather high now. I couldn't see the cushion when I got back, but I could reach it with my hands. I touched it for a fracture of a second with both hands, and up I went. This precedure can help to go deeper into this challenging asana. I only did it once that way, repetition will follow.

I will make a list when and how often I do which series, too:
I read this in Tim's blog and I considered it a good idea.
This is how my list looks like:

Oct - Dec 2006:
Strength and flexibility:
Mysore class:
Led A class:
Jivamukti class:

I do these 6 different practices mainly. The other CDs or DVDs sleep on my shelf. I can complete the list as soon as I do something in addition.

I got a phone call from E. while he was on the plane. It's a cool technique. I was glad for him as he got an upgrade to business class. It is more comfortable and the food is better than for the backbenchers. Finally he arrived. He called me again when he was waiting for his luggage. As I was with him in Portland already I can imagine where he is. I like this.

"Keep a sense of humor"

This was for me the most imortant sentence of one of the three DVDs "Ashtanga Yoga" by Richard Freeman. The DVDs are great. I watched the intermediate series. As I learn this series on my own I'm sometimes not sure how to get from one asana to the next, how should the vinyasas be. The DVD helped a lot. Most asanas look easily when Richard does them. I got new inspirations: the most important one was to keep a sense of humor. As in life it is also a good attitude while doing yoga. Why not laugh if one falls out of bakasana. It is funny, isn't it? If I only remembered only to smile (just a little bit) when I practice. I always forget it as soon as I jump on my mat.

The Oktoberfest is in full swing. Today was a great parade of more than 2.30 hours. People in traditional costumes went to the Oktoberfest.

Sunday morning

We got up at 5 a.m. My boyfriend is on the way to Portland, US again. I took him to the airport. He has a day in the plane - how exhausting. Usually when he is through the luggage and body check he turns around and then I wave with my arm a white flying handkerchief in my hand. It's a little bit theatre, but I think he likes it.

Now I sit here and it is quite. I will have time for yoga - second Ashtanga series. I guess it will be a relaxing Sunday.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Ursula the trader - online selling

Ebay offered lectures today (not for free). I got up at 6 a.m in order to be on time. It all started at 9 a.m., but at 8 a.m. the doors were open already. As I always like to talk to people, I tried to be there at 8 a.m. already. I had interesting conversations and an exciting day. I'm full of new ideas and insights now. I sit here highly motivated. I want to feed my eBay account again.

It started all with an opening speech (about 5 min). The woman said: Let's start with a little gymnastic. Please stand up." All the people stood up. "Who has less than 500 points on the eBay account?" Most people sat down. "Who has less than 1000 points?" And so on. There were really a few top sellers in the audience.

One woman and one man (no couple) were very succesful in household appliances. Later I talked to a man, a topseller as well, dressed in black with a huge paunch, who sold underwear very sucessfully (monthly turnover above 30.000 Euro). Yes, I know the profit is what counts, but who talks about this, this is what people want to keep secretly.

I learned about helpful software, paypal, costumer binding. The teacher came from different jobs (authors, consultants, eBay sellers), but all of them were eBay sellers as well. The information was mostly very practical. A few youngsters presented software with so much commitment, that I'd hire them right from the spot in case I needed staff. Very impressive. They took notes and were interested.

I left the "university" 1 hour before the end. My cup ähhhh, my mind was ful. I'm still a little bit dizzy. I made notes. As already mentioned, my motivation soars.

Food, offered during the breaks was a nightmare: cakes, brezl with sausage, muffins. Awful, fanciless.

I miss my yoga practice.

On the picture you see the South African market just before our first hotel. SA was so special, that I think often of it.

Friday, September 15, 2006

11:30 pm

Too much booze, but I feel good. Waitresses were too unattentive, so we saved the desserts and the espressi. This is good for the purse and good for the body. The Greece restaurant had lost the reservation, so we landed at an Italian restaurant. This means for me penne al'arrabiata. Friday evening is the day where every sin is allowed as there is no yoga tomorrow. So I ordered a glas of red wine as well.

Got a phone call today. The company where I already had an interview wants to have a second interview. This time it will be with the next boss. It seems to become inevitable to work as an employee. I swear I will go on working on my projects. I don't want to have people below me, but I also don't want to have people above me. I want to be my own guru. Who else will usher me from dark to light, if not me.

Friday evening

After yoga,
after a cappuccino with soy milk in one of my favourite cafes,
after a short nap,

balance returned, inner voices are tired. Boyfriend is driving home. We have a reservation at a Greece restaurant.

The picture is taken at the end of the world, called Cape of Good Hope, South Africa.

Yoga is more than asanas

As soon as I'm back home the crap starts. People are involved, but that's not the reason why I don't go into details. Why concentrate on problems which might occur in the future? That's my current status of thinking. It took me a while to get there.

What for an advice does the yoga philosophy offer? I think one thing is to be in the present. Almost 90 percent of all problems (by the way, what is a problem?) are in the future. What takes me into the here and now? My yoga practice, the asanas, yes, the good old asanas. I went to a business yoga class (Jivamukti yoga) at 12 o'clock. It was demanding and I sweated not in the past, not in the future, but in the here and now. I enjoyed the little massage for my neck at the end of the hour.

To take pictures is another activity that takes me in the here and now. I walk around and I'm looking for beautiful, interesting views. My eyes are looking around in the here and now.

No, I don't close my eyes for what might come. Everything I can do is done. Why not enjoy life now. Life is beautiful.

How to start

To start with the yoga practice is likely to get difficult if one asks oneself how the mood is today. Questions in general are not a good start. Sometimes they lead to not doing anything at all because the answer is that there is a bad mood.

A good start is just to role out the mat, to sit down, to breathe, to chant, without thinking, without questioning.

Later more.

South Africa is so beautiful that I had to honor it with a forward bend like baddha konasana as well. How tiny is a human being (in this case me) in comparison to the wide world.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Ashtanga second series

We got up too late. The alarm clock was set at 6 a.m..At 9 a.m. we opened our eyes. Somehow my boyfriend must have switched off the alarm clock.

Then I wrote my morning pages, I had my black cup of coffee and then I practiced.

Motivation was very high. I rolled out my mat. I started with chanting Aum and the opening song. I listened to my voice and I liked it. I didn't chant very loud but hearable.

It was a slow motion practice. I was very attentive. No TV, no music was needed today in order to concentrate. I was concentrated on my body. After five surya namaskara A I had a little break. Then I negotiated with me to do only 3 surya namaskara B. It was an intensive warm up. Then followed the standing sequence. It was very concentrated as well. I respected my body. I didn't force me into positions. I concentrated on the breath. I did all the vinyasas as well when I reached the middle part of the sequence. I think the second series is much more interesting than the first series. Perhaps I think so because the whole second series is rather new to me. I stopped at the middle of the practice. I have to take my legs behind my head first before I can go on. I went to the closing sequence. Just before matsyasana the phone rang.

I though I was prepared, but I wasn't. I only went to the phone because I expected my parents. But it was U. She dumps "always" all her mental garbage and problems on me. She doesn't stop and everything is black. At first she asked me about SA and this was the trap.Then it was her turn and again the same cant. She wants my help not only for her general problems (she has only problems), but also for accounting. I agreed to help her and I added that she already knew my price. I will write an invoice for my service, that's sure. She: "I thought, because we drink a cup of coffee now and then....." She wants to have my service for free. No, baby.

I had such a good plan how to deal with her. I wanted to shorten the phone calls and I wanted to make appointments only connected with yoga. The idea: at first yoga then a cup of coffee for half an hour. I didn't like to write badly about people, but I was so furious about myself today because I couldn't stop the phone call, that I had to write my disappointment down. Next time I will do better: Short phone calls about 10 minutes. Meetings only in connection with yoga. Cup of coffee after yoga, but only half an hour. Sorry for not following the yoga path with this entry: concentrating on good things, letting go of not so amusing things.

Weather is good in Germany. It is always good before the Oktoberfest. I promise you a few pictures of this beer party.

The picture you can see today is taken in SA on one of the speaking tongues.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Yoga at home again

I was afraid to start again. But on the other side I missed my practice as well.

I finally made it to the mat. I was too afraid to call B. in order to ask if there was still a place in the Mysore class. So I had to practice alone. Perhaps it was also good. Now my back has another week to relax. In class I always do too much. I practiced carefully. I was not as stiff as expected, but weak. I repeated some postures like Janu Sirsasana twice. I didn't like to be that bad in these poses. I had to think of the man in Cape Town, who was obviously very stiff, but he made sure that he enjoyed the class. Breath was not very good today. Nevertheless I am somehow satisfied as I practiced and I did all the asanas except the vinyasas. I conquered the fear. I confronted myself with my abilities now. That is from where I have to go on. After that rather long break I think the practice was OK. Tomorrow is time for another intensive practice. Daily practice is the secret.

I left my baboon spectators in the hills of SA.

Some last impressions, before the here and now.....

Eating at home again

I just came back from grocery shopping. I bought dark sunflower bread, tomatoes and so on. We have seen so many restaurants in the last week, so that it is good to eat at home again. On the picture you see a restaurant in the winecountry of SA. They offered wine tasting and goat cheese tasting. One of the goat cheese was with honey - delicious. I thought that the goats had a lucky life that's why I ate it, too.

A beautiful country - South Africa

I think I made more than 2000 pictures. The country is so beautiful. One can find everything there, it is a very controversial country. During the last day we had an African winter day. For me it was still OK, but we saw the people trembling with cold. There was a very strong wind, that could be heard during the night as well. Winter here is something different than here where we have snow and really low temperatures.

I'm sure it was not my last time that I was in South Africa.

I managed to do some surya namaskaras in the morning. Nevertheless I have the feeling I have to restart.

The baboons

We drove with the car in the mountains. Suddenly around a curve these baboons appeared. They weren't interested in us, but we were interested in them. So cute. But when we saw their teeth and from time to time they showed them, while yawning, we kept the windows of the car closed. They have long white dangerous looking teeth and flees as you see.

Robbin Island

Robbin Island is an island close to the main land. It takes half an hour to get there by boat. There was the prison where Nelson Mandela was for very long years. Most impressing was one of the guides. He was 20 years in that prison as well. He served in the army till he was 18. And then he was sentenced for 20 years, accused to be a terrorist, which he wasn't. He had the cell no. 1, Nelson Mandela the cell no. 5. We saw them both. When the man was 38 he was set free. At the end of the guide we were invited to ask questions. All the tourists from all over the world were sitting in one of the prison rooms on wooden benches. It was silent. The guide said that one of the frequently asked question is why he was doing this job here, where he was so long in that prison as a prisoner. His answer was that he had no choice. 40 percent of the black people are unemployed and he is lucky to have this job. The man spoke with a strong but sometimes trembling voice. It was totally quite in the room. One could hear a needle falling to the ground. At the end he was holding a flaming speech that injustice cannot be fought by injustice. Buh.

I was so touched by this walk of life that you can imagine I wasn't in the mood to do some yoga postures there.

Aids and South Africa

One evening we met an acquintance of my boyfriend in an Asian restaurant. He is originally from Namibia (one of the rare former German colonies) and that's why he speaks German like a German. He used to live in Germany as well, but now he loves his time in South Africa.

25 percent of the black people and 10 percent of the white people in South Africa have Aids. Four of his gardeners died within the last year. Another employee had 10 days off, because she wanted to go to funerals of relatives, who died from Aids. I think it is not really new to me that Aids is one of the biggest issues in Africa, but when you hear stories like this it is shocking. And in the next years more and more people will die from this disease as the time from getting the infection till death is about 10 years. Many people have Aids now since 7 years. This fact is even more shocking when you hear that every third child has Aids, too.

W. gave us the advice to be careful, not to seduce people to steal and to make it as difficult as possible. That means to have the doors locked all the time when driving the car. There should be really nothing left in the car and so on. There is an unemployment rate of 40 percent among the black people.

I think that there is a huge chasm between the whites and the blacks. It is obvious that the white people have the money and the black people are poor. Homeless black people are seen everywhere. Shocking are the slums close to the airport. It is not a small area, it goes mile after mile.

I'm sure that things went better in South Africa, but it is still a long way to go.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Ashtanga yoga in South Africa

Later we went to the Ashtanga studio, that I found via the internet. A nice woman with blond hair was the teacher. She had opened the studio 1 month ago. The students were all very beginners. She adjusted the series to that level. That means: no vinyasas, omitting some difficult asanas and variations. I felt very well as it was like a home study. I have no remorses now anymore when I "forget" the vinyasas. I must say that it was a very concentrated hour. The teacher told me to do my asanas. I assured her that I wanted to go with the group. I really enjoyed my yoga hour there.

We were about 5 people. There was only one man and it was his first time. I told him (perhaps this was not very sensitive) that all would come. He assured me that he enjoyed the yoga very much. Inside me I wondered why. It must have been so difficult and painful for him. I don't enjoy my yoga hours when I'm not good at it. But that's perhaps what I have to learn to enjoy it all the time - the bad hours and the good hours.

Table mountain and signal hill, South Africa

Yesterday we went up to the table mountain. A lift goes up to the top; it takes about 5 minutes till you are at the highest point. The lift goes up in circles so that you can look around. Once you are up, you have one of the most beautiful views. It was a little bit windy at the top. After a while we went down. Down again we sat down on a bench and we enjoyed again this great view. Unforgetable.

The table mountain is very often on pictures, that's why I decided to publish this picture of mountains in SA.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Winecountry and waterfront, South Africa

A perfect day yesterday: the winecountry is so beautiful. I took so many pictures that we hadn't enough time to go through them this morning. I had my first Chardonnay there. When you like to dring the good wines, you have to order a bottle, everywhere. It is all very affordable. A bottle of wine costs as much as a glas of wine in Germany. The danger is that you might drink too much. People are very attentive and friendly here. Your glass in never empty. There is a lot of service offered here.

After visiting a nice village in the winecountry, we headed to the speaking tongue. A very nice place, too, with a huge monument. A team took advertising photos. A beautiful woman dressed in a long light purple dress was dancing around, while others were taking the pictures. She had to do always the same steps. I took a few pictures, too. I tried doing dhanurasana.

In the evening we were at the waterfront at an Indian restaurant. The waterfront is close to the sea. There are a lot of shops and restaurants in a huge building. You can shop at Mont Blanc, Guess, whatever brand you are looking for, you will find it. Sitting in a restaurant you can have the view to the harbour. It is so beautiful.

This morning I hesitated, but then I rolled out my mat. I wanted to do a few suryas, just to check if I will be able to practice in the Ashtanga studio here. It was better than yesterday. I think a sigh came out of my mouth. My mat is already in the trunk, my yoga clothes are in my bag, I'm very excited. Ashtanga in Cape Town in SA, how cool.

When I sit in my American jacket, in a South African restaurant a huge African market in front of me, eating a Greece salad, reading an English book, produced in China, written by an English woman on India - is this globalisation?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Cape of Good Hope, South Africa

Yesterday we drove to the end of the world, called Cape of Good Hope. There is a light house there. The countryside is impressive. It was very windy, which gave the walk to the lighthouse a special atmosphere. It was wild. My ears started hurting and I warmed them with my hands. So it has to be at the end of the world. I even managed to sit in lotus position next to the sign "Cape Point". I took one picture after the other. We had dinner there after returning from the little viewing point. I had an Indian lentil curry with vegetables. It was delicious as the vegetables were to bite and the sauce was very spicy. Till now I was not lucky with my Chardonnay. It is sold only in bottles and this is too much for me. So I went for another Sauvignon. But today I will be lucky, because we will go to the winecountry. I will buy a bottle of Chardonnay and I will take it to the hotel, in case they will sell no glasses. The waitress of our breakfast restaurant recommended a wine estate. I'm curious. It is a very small one where no tourists are, she promised. Yesterday we had a good laugh, too. On the next table in the restaurant were French people. They had huge difficulties to order something, because they wanted to know exactly which meat comes from which animal. The waiter explained what a cow is. He showed how he would milk a cow. They didn't understand the word cow. My boyfriend translated it into French. But they still looked somehow helpless. This was my chance: "Why don't you go vegeterian. There is a perfect curry on the menue." We all laughed. No, no, was the answer. A real Frenchman or Frenchwomen eats meat. So it is.

Yesterday I didn't practice. But this morning I practiced. It was a nightmare, the word torture would be better. Everything hurt. It was no pain, which I could locate. Every move was connected with incredible effort. Energy wasn't low, it didn't exist. I suffered. I could scarcly perform anything. It was so frustrating. I asked me why. I only had 1 glas of wine in the afternoon. We weren't hungry in the evening, I had an empty stomach, weight is perfect. The asanas which I did were so far away from the usual performance. I almost desperated. I had a huge mirror in front of me, so I could check the poses. But this changed nothing. It was almost impossible to practice. I thought that I only have to breath. Yeah, but this is said quickly. I think it is better not to think anymore of my practice this morning.

I found an Ashtanga studio here. I will go to a class tomorrow in case they offer it as it is a moon day tomorrow. At the moment I fear to go there as my body is more than stiff and energy is so low.

There was an interesting question in my book "Are you experienced?" What do travellers do? They buy tickets go to the next place, buy another ticket, eat something, go to another place. That's it, was the answer. Somehow this is right. I finished the book written by an English author on a trip to India on an South African terrace, a huge African market in front of me. Strange?, modern?, cool? Definitely a recommentation - both, to read a book on India in Africa and to read this book.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Cape Town, South Africa - arrived

The red eyes flight ( means overnight flight) was exhausting. There was no seat left in the plane. Not to move all night long in a sitting position is not really pleasant. But then I arrived and my boyfriend managed it to be at the airport on time, even though it was 5 a.m., when I arrived. I didn't have to wake him up. How good. I got a warm kiss from him - what for a perfect start.

At the moment I'm sitting in a very cool internet shop. There are about 70 PCs here. On the walls are huge blue painted squares. The seats are blue, too. Music is modern American music, very rocky. The shop is open around the clock. 1 hour costs 10 R ( about 1 Euro), so I can blog as much as I want in case I will have time. After paying, I got an access number for any PC. I entered this number. On the sceen appeared a question: "Do you want something to drink?" I clicked on "yes". Then pictures of the beverages appeared. I ordered a cup of coffee for about 0,80 Euro. That' s really nothing. Very soon a woman appeared with a huge black cup of coffee. Well organized.

After my arrival we went downtown for a breakfast. The city awakes rather late, but we could find a nice restaurant. We had warm croissants with jam and coffee and tea. It was very good, people are very friendly.

The hotel is downtown. We returned to it after breakfast. My boyfriend soon went to work, I went to bed. (Oh, they play African music now. Very good. Drums and a man is singing. It is all very rhytmic. I like it.) I opened my eyes rather late. It was already in the afternoon, when I had a shower to wake me up. I was stiff. I was too curious now. I wanted to explore where I was. The hotel is a very good one, but the room is rather small. I could have practiced Ashtanga yoga. But I did not. Feeling stiff, being curious, I dediced to go out.

In front of the hotel is a huge market. I forgot to ask at the hotel if I had to negotiate prices. But it became clear as soon as I entered the market. "It is 30, but for you 20." OK, I understand. "How about 10?" "15, good price." I like to negotiate prices even though I know that I always pay too much, but I don't care. The prices differ for the same gifts 300% or more at different stands. It is like negotiating the salary in Germany. Self-confidence is the crucial point. I heard another interesting question: "How big is your family?" Means, how many presents can I sell to you. I like it when people know how to sell. Suddenly I heard a voice in my ear. "Pay attention to your bag. It is too big." I turned around and I saw a white man in his sixties. I thanked him for his advice. I think he is right. But I always need so many things: my book, my glasses, my purses, my camera. I took already some very nice pictures, but it might be dangerous to show a camera.

It is easy to get in contact with people, to chat a little bit, even though the reason is clear (business). It is not always easy to understand the English. Even my boyfriend has difficulties. And his American English is close to be perfect.

Weather is very good: it is warm, but not hot, a little bit humide and always a bit of a fresh wind.

First impression: I like it to be here.

To be continued.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Before leaving for South Africa

I managed it to practice. I worked on the second series. The standing positions were very good. I was already so excited that I didn't feel the pain. I didn't hold the asanas - I was too nervous. I went from one asana to the next. This does not mean that the practice was not good. I was concentrated, but fast.

Everything is done now. The same questions as usual come up: Do I have the right clothes in my suitcase? Have I forgotten anything? I have a checklist and as far as I can judge it now all I need is in my suitcase. I will travel with my yoga mat. This blue mat travelled already around the world with me. It is so cool to have it over my shoulder. I will get a vegan meal during the flight. That's perfectly prepared as well.

Now I only have to call a taxi. As usual I will be too early at the airport. Next time when I will wake up I can see South Africa under me. Joe Cocker sings in the radio. It is exactly the right music for now. I'm flying, even though I have no wings and I'm not an airplane.

Saturday, September 02, 2006


I missed something. I missed something. Yes, it was my Ashtanga practice. A few hours earlier I knew exactly why it is good to have a day off from practice. Later in the evening, I was alone in front of the TV, it was boring, even though I watched a thriller with one of my favourite German actors, I had a good idea. Why not doing a few asanas? I did the first series, without vinyasas. The vinyasas are not my friend. But I don't care. It is my practice. I went slowly into the asanas. I even tried hanumanasana. I will see how my back will be tomorrow. Happy yoga. Happy yoga. Lalalala Lalala.

Picture was taken on my way downtown Munich. Behind the trees is a museum, "The Pinakothek".

No yoga today

It is Saturday. More and more I understand why Saturday should be a no practice day. The bodies have to relax now and then. I think that my right lower back is slowly better. But it is still painful, especially when I practice these challenging Ashtanga asanas. Another challenging practice would probably make the back worse.

I needn't fear that I won't have time to practice during my trip to South Africa. I will have time to practice before my flight tomorrow. I have to leave home during lunch time. At first I will have to fly to Frankfurt, then to Cape Town. On Monday I will have time to practice, too, as I will stay in the hotel room, while my boyfriend is still working. I don't want to go out alone. We want to be cautious. On Tuesday when I will get up early (my boyfriend likes to sleep a little bit longer even on holidays) I will have time to practice, too. I found an Ashtanga studio in Cape Town. I plan to go there on Wednesday, so I will have another day with Ashtanga. There is really no reason to fear that there won't be time to practice only because I'm travelling. I can quietly take a day off from Ashtanga today.

TodayI will go on with my cleaning activities. I was so happy that I could throw away so many things yesterday. Cleaning is so much easier with less things. I threw away pans and pots, towels, cutting trays. I have from everything too much. It was a relief to let go all these redundant items. To go through my shelfes in the kitchen was more time-consuming than I thought. It is not all done. I also ironed, I did the laundry and so on. I'm already happy with what is done, but I have still a lot of activities on my to do list. Cleaning and space clearing has a higher aim. It creates clearness - clearness in a chaotic world, clearness in a chaotic mind. When I interprete it this way, it is even spiritual.

The more I think of the interview yesterday, the more critical I see the job. Imagine: there is no job definition, it is not at all clear who does what. Everybody has to do everything. A nightmare. An example is the petty cash. Who took the money out of the petty cash if it doesnt match with the acounting entries anymore. Who made the mistakes, if the accounting is not correct. I use to work very precisly, but I know that not everybody works so precisly as I do it. If there are no clear responsibilities, the doors are open for sloppy work. It only shows that the interviewer has no clue on accounting, but he is supposed to organize it. Before doing the job I think I have to negotiate a lot. So much incompetence makes me furious. I have to prepare the next meeting in case they decide to take me.

At 2 p.m I will meet P. downtown. She is an accountant, too. She will understand me.

Picture is taken at the Hofgarten downtown Munich. It shall represent a relaxing Saturday.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Now I know more

Before an interview still at home I always run around like a wild animal. I check everything twice: the address, my clothes, the contents of my bag. Today I also checked when I would be back from South Africa. It is on Tuesday and not on Monday how I thought. This typical paranoid accounting behavior to check everything twice and more often makes sense, at least sometimes.

As usual I was not only 10 minutes earlier in front of the office, but 30 minutes earlier. I had so much time to check my lipstick again and again. The waiting time brought me to a level of excitment, which is helpful for an interview.

The woman from the recruiting firm arrived finally and we went upstairs. The woman is really professional and very friendly.

The interview was good. The expected questions were asked. One of these question is always: why have you done something else than accounting (i.e. studying sociology) 20 years ago. Fine. I'm prepared. That's not the problem. I can be very convincing. I had so many interviews, that I'm glad when I'm surprised by a new question.

The crucial points:
- There will be 2 to 3 people in the accounting department and it is not clear who does what.
- One woman left the company after only a few weeks. My critical mind asks at once: Why?

The good points:
- We left the company at 3 o'clock and we were the last people there. I used to go home at 6 p.m., mostly later in former companies. Sounds good to leave the company at 3 p.m. The woman, who told my interviewer to lock the door was not very friendly (bad point, but I didn't expect something else).
- I was already told that they wanted to pay less than my last salary. But when asked what I want to earn, I said what I got in my last job. But I added that I was flexible. I take more, too. So we all laughed. And I think I can get what I mentioned. Perhaps after a test time. This new salary is much higher than I was told I could get.

In total I'm happy how everything went. A deciscion will be made later in September. I'm free now. I would take the job, if they gave it to me. I want that money is coming in and not that money is going out all the time. The tasks of this job are challenging, interesting. Nothing is for eternity, if I don't want.

Now I'm ready for the Friday evening thriller on TV. Interviews are exhausting. But it's still too early for the thriller and too early for TV at all. So I will clean. Before travelling I'm always very motivated to clean my home. Yesterday I even vacuumed behind the sofa. I even cleaned the splices in the bathroom. I did the laundry. Today I want to wash the doors and I want to clean the shelves in the kitchen. It is nice to return to a really clean home.

My goal for South Africa: I want to sit in lotus position in the prison cell of Nelson Mandela. I want to pray for a few things. And my boyfriend also agreed to make a picture of me there. My life will remain exciting.

I did not know which picture I should upload today. I took a new one. I looked out of the window and click - here it is. The tree on the opposite of the street shows that it is fall. Today it is hot, but this won't last.

Yipee, I would have time to practice in the morning

Yesterday I prepared the interview which is today at 2 p.m. I was so happy when I discovered that it would be in the early afternoon, because then I would have enough time to practice. I checked the website of the company and it sounds really very interesting. My main criterias seem to be fulfilled:

1. I want to work in an international company.
2. It shouldn't be too far away from my home.
3. I want to have a certain independance, responsibility for what I'm doing.

Oh, I forgot to dedicate my morning practice to that outcome. It doesn't matter. My opinion, which developped very slowly, but is now really what I think, is: when someone does not want to work with me, it is better for me, too, not to work with them. I can totally accept this. But for now, I think the job offer is an opportunity.

I practiced - Ashtanga first series. This in not an excuse for a not so intensive practice. My lower back hurts and I have to be careful. I did the surya namaskara A, a few surya namaskara B. I did all the standing positions. I went into the position and soon I said good-bye and I went on, I followed the path to the next asana. I was not very deep into the asanas. Again, I have to be careful. My back is worse and I want to get rid of this pain. I went on with the sitting forward bending asanas. I left out some of them. No vinyasas. Salamba sarvangasana, halasana, matsyasana and padmasana was my closing sequence.

I feel good, I practiced. I had breakfast already. I had the rest of the baguette from yesterday with the home-made jam of my mother, black coffee. Perfect.

Ms K., the woman from the recruitment firm just called me. She wanted to approve the appointment. She will participate as well. Does she think, that I won't come? I'm already on my way. I have to dress. It is not so easy, because weather is surprisingly hot today and I have to leave my woolen suit in the wardrobe. I need somthing more for a summer day. It's also manageable.