Vasisthana felt good last time in the Mysore class. R held my hips high and this was it. This stabilized me of course, too. "It's a difficult pose for me," I said to M. He: "It's a piece of cake for you." Your words in God's ears I thought and I was entertained. Vasisthasana is a pose that is not so difficult for me like kapotasana. This back bending pose drives me crazy. It's as if I don't progress at all. When it's done, I'm always relieved. It shall be the shoulder that hold me back. I fear it's everything. I divide my practice into two parts, before kapotasana and after kapotasana.
One shall not omit anything. I don't. Looking back I'm glad that I didn't negotiate with M to leave out mayurasana. He also wouldn't agreed here. It's so good now. I can hold it for 5 breaths. Only how I get into the pose is still a bit different as it's supposed to be. Pincha mayurasana is coming, too. This pose I didn't like to omit, haha. Dislikes and likes are always there, they have not always the influence to decide if something is done or not. I want to confront myself with the fear to fall in the middle of the room when doing this pose. This is the focus of February. So far not so much happened in this direction. When practicing this pose against the wall I take away what this pose is about: a balancing pose and most balancing poses come with the "danger" of falling out of the pose.
Karandavasana gets better, too. What I exercise in addition is doing a headstand. Then I fold my legs into padmasana. Then I lift my body up and stand only on my forearms. This little movement usually makes me wobbling and I fall against the wall or in the other direction. It happens more often now that I don't wobble and that I can balance.
In sum I'm happy how second series developed. There is still a lot to do till it has this rhythm I'm aiming at. It will still take some time till it's a practice and not a learning exercise. Of course learning never stops, but I think you practitioner of Ashtanga yoga know what I mean.
Today is Saturday. I want to spend some time on the mat, either for a rishi series or for the moon sequence by Sweeney. Something calm for me today.
Yesterday I watched and listened to Rolling Stones songs. Mick Jagger is a rather small man, he has my length. All members of the group remained thin. They all are bones and skin and a few muscles. I love this. The faces gained contour. The softness of their young years disappeared, the face of Mick is expressive.
No more aiming to be beautiful, but being oneself, is it.
Time for a tiny healthy breakfast. I intend to cook today.