Saturday, January 31, 2009
I paused a bit when I needed a break, but stayed on my mat. Only once E. came into "my yoga room" and sat down on the sofa next to my mat where I practiced. "Sit down on my knee," he said. I couldn't resist such an offer. We talked about the evening yesterday. Death, money, travelling were our topics. Then I continued with my practice.
Urdhva dhanurasana: I did all possible variations. I go to my limits I know this, because when I'm through with all the exercises I am so exhausted that I am close to crying. That's not something that really troubles me. It's only that I see my mental limits. I do what is possible. The body has limits, the mind, too. I was deeper than ever in that pose. My finger could touch my calves when I walked them down on the backside of my legs. I had not the courage to drop back. I dropped back when I was on my knees. Three times I did it. But then I had enough. This evening I will work again on that pose. I am so close to do it. I really leaped ahead.
Wonderful. A few things have changed since my Indian trip. I am stronger now and I do vinyasas also between sides and not only between poses. Strength is as important as flexibility.
It's strange, but I have a bit of a headache. There is always somthing. Human people are kept busy with nothing and everything.
Today I want to do my tax declaration. This is important.
There is always this feeling that I have to do too much and that I have to start from point 0.
Friday, January 30, 2009
My first working week is over. Yes, this is good and I am relieved. Somehow.
I didn't celebrated it with a glass of wine with the Indian food. I only liked the bottles there and this would have been too much. I drank water, that was good, too.
My body should be in best condition tomorrow.
I am sooooo looking forward to my Ashtanga yoga practice.
My Ashtanga goals have changed. Last year I wanted to do first and second series till the end of the year. This didn't happen. This year I made a modification re my goals. I want to do urdhva dhanurasana, supta kurmasana, better vinyasa (jumping forward and backward between the poses) and bujapidasana. Last pose is insofar interesting as it is neglected and the vinyasa is unique. To go from tittibasana to bekasana and then to jump back is an exciting movement. This is enough what I want to accomplish, but it is less than full second series. To learn new poses takes time, some poses need years.
Back to back bending: Why is it so difficult I wondered yesterday: Each and every person bends forward to pick something up from the floor i.e. We all twist from time to time, when we drive our cars i.e. But we never bend back. When I do back bending, I really do something special.
I wouldn't do it when I hadn't the feeling that it is good for me. I feel how my body becomes open and transparent. I start loving back bending (despite this strange feeling when reaching the limits and despite the mental difficulties to do it.)
I am glad that I was on my mat. I was dawdling a bit. Even this is OK for me now. I can see myself in the window as it is still dark outside when I practice. That way I can adjust myself. For instance I saw this morning that my back is not straight when I go forward into prasarita padottanasana. I don't like this round back. Every pose needs attention. How I love it to work with my body.
It's Friday already. We will meet in an Indian restaurant this evening. Then my first working week is over. Yepeeeeeeeeee.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Before going home usually I do grocery shopping. It takes time in the evening. Obviously everybody does it at the same time - after work. At home I undress and throw my business clothes in the next corner (Of course not, I put them on a hanger). Then I put on comfortable clothes. Hunger is felt, so I eat. Then I am full and not able to do yoga.
Big washing ceremony is part of the evening routine, blogging, email-checking.
To find the right order is really difficult.
Kitchen is clean, stomach busy to digest best artichockes and German bread. Soon I will find myself under the shower.
3 hour I have available in the evening when I give myself 7 hours of sleep. That's not much.
How my evening routine will look like tomorrow in the evening is clear already: Dinner with friends in an Indian restaurant. It's something I'm looking forward to. Conversation and food - great combination, I think.
Picture: Another impression from my way to the job.
Savasana: I am glad that I did it. It's part of the sequence. 5 min is not that long and so I tried to relax 5 min on my back. Afterwards I meditated for 10 min, and this was good, too, rather relaxing.
These practices prepare me for the day. Relax I think. Relax.
My morning routine (for Flo):
Up at 5 to 5. Email checking first. On my way to the kitchen to prepare a cup of coffee for myself, I switch on the PC. When I return I can start surfing. I write my journal then.
Between 5:45 and 6:00 I step on my mat. At 7 I have to leave the mat. Meditation must be done within this time span.
Then shower, breakfast, writing my blog, waking up E., making the bed, cleaning the kitchen, dressing till 8.
At 8 I have to leave my home.
I am rather happy with my morning routine. To get up early becomes easier every day. It's a habit. Nothing else. Early to bed (difficult) helps to get up early. It's that simple. :)
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Picture: The road to the company where I work. It has snowed, everything was white.
(Bed time already, posts become shorter, spare time, too)
I dreamed this night: Somehow I had to return to a table in a beer garden, because I had forgotten my camera. When I arrived at the table I saw it still on the table. I had feared it was already stolen. I took it. I realized that it was not my camera, but another one. Firstly I thought: It's OK, then I will take this one. The people who sat at the table told me that this camera was cheaper than mine. No, I thought, I don't want a cheap camera, I don't want a camera that is cheaper than mine was. Then the dream was over.
I practiced: Whatever I do is OK. I have to get used to practice so early. I did the suryas, standing poses and then urdhva dhanurasana again. The body is stiff. Back bending is hard in the morning. My body shall get used to do it every morning now. I did the closing sequence. That was it.
Three times a week I will have time for a long and intensive practice. This is this evening (Mysore class with B.) and Saturday and Sunday. During the week in the early morning I will practice and enjoy what will happen without this ambition that I usually know. Due to my healthy lifestyle my body feels good.
Time flies. I have to stop writing. Today is my 3rd working day. Not that I am counting.......
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
In the middle part of the Ashtanga series I focused only on urdhva dhanurasana. I did different variations and felt stiff. This back bending brings me close to crying. "This is supposed to be fun for you," I tell myself. It could be good to do this pose a bit more detached. Just doing it, like a duty, without emotions (I want it so badly) is perhaps a good idea.
Savasana was my last post. It's important to be able to relax.
After my practice I did pranayama, a few rounds only and then I meditated. After 6 min I opened my eyes and I left my Indian mat. Finished.
I do everything to have a good practice in the morning. I try to have enough sleep. Yesterday I was in bed before 10 o'clock. During the day I eat healthy (fruits, vegetables, salad). I drink water, no coffee, only in the morning I prepare 2 cups of black coffee for myself. In the evening I don't drink a "little" glass of wine to relax. And I breathe deeply. Ahhhhhhhhh.
Today is the second working day. I hope that I find the office room, I have such a bad orientation. Yesterday I didn't find the exit. Yeah, the first days in a new company are not that easy.
Monday, January 26, 2009
It was a good day. My working place is calm and modern. The colleagues are very friendly. And I do not have the feeling that they confuse me with a citron, that they want to press. It was a good start.
I wanted to meditate as well. I did this after my yoga practice. "You deserve 5 min relaxing pose", I told myself after I had finished meditation.
My neighbour with the red hair is still standing at the window sipping a beverage (probably a coffee) and smoking a cigarette. It is as if nothing has changed.
What has changed is my job. It's a journey into the unknown today. This evening I know more.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
After the standing poses I worked on urdhva dhanurasana.
Reluctance was felt again, but I had a good idea how to conquer it. I laid down on my back and imagined myself doing urdhva dhanurasana in the green Australian jungle with my red yoga clothes on. I made the inner picture big, colorful. I could hear the birds singing songs. It was easy to do the pose, it looked so beautiful. I felt so flexible. I imagined this so long till I really wanted to do it in reality. Make the think comes true, I thought.
I practiced different variations:
1. I lifted myself up from lying on my back. A strap around my legs kept those parallel. Firstly I did it 3 times rather fast (inhaling up, exhaling down, .....). Then I went up and held the pose. Each time when I lifted myself up I walked the hands a bit closer towards the feet.
2. Then I stood up, put my hands in prayer pose in front of the chest and arched back. Breathing was the focus and to relax the back so that I could arch a bit more and again a bit more.
3. Then I arched back and walked my hands along the back of my legs. I reached the hollows of my knees, I want to reach the calves. I tried to relax and to breath deeply.
4. I knelt down again and arched back. Also today I could conquer the fear and I dropped back, till my hands reached the floor (and not the head). 3 times I repeated this. I started sweating, I couldn't make a distinction if I sweated because of the fear or because the exercise was so exhausting. Oh, yeah, my legs are a bit sore from my attempts a few days ago.
5. Then I stood up again, buh. I tried it again while standing. But fear was there. No way to drop back.
6. During meditation at the end of my practice I heard a slogan that I can use as a mantra: Drop back and your hands will hold you, drop back and your hands will hold you, drop back........
7. Paschimottanasana was done at the end, oh, was it difficult to bend forward.
Closing sequence relaxed me. And then I did relaxing pose. This pose is very important. To relax is an ability. I was calm today.
I plan to repeat back bending this evening. I'm so hot to do this pose. It almost drives me crazy.
It was all so perfect: I could watch the programme till the end and from today on I can go to bed early: I plan 9:30, later it will be 10, so that I have 7 hours of sleep. This should be enough.
My plans are modest: I will be happy with a few surya namaskaras in the early morning, but I am sure I will do a bit more than this. I am cuious if my neighbour is still up so early, smoking her cigarette.
I am looking forward to tomorrow. I am motivated.
And I want to travel to India this year, to Mumbai.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I wanted to repeat the back bending from yesterday, but today my body was stiff.
Like yesterday, I went straight to urdhva dhanurasana after the standing sequence. Not only my body was stiff, mentally it was difficult to do this pose. I was so reluctant. Nevertheless I could convince myself to do it. I arched back from standing pose as well and tried to hold the pose long, while breathing deeply.
Summary: The pose is very volatile. Motivation is still high. I want to give it another try later today.
I think now that it would have been better to do the whole first series. But now it's over.
Very good is that I got a glimpse yesterday that it can happen, that I will be able to do this pose (one day, perhaps soon, it is within grasp) .
Damned. To practice without expectations would have been better.
I must buy some bread now so that we can have breakfast.
Friday, January 23, 2009
(mmhhh, among other things)
Wanted to write more, but as soon as I left my Indian blanket, I realized that it was already late. Must dress quickly now to be ready when E. will pick me up from home. Dinner with friends in the Greece restaurant is on the schedule.
Picture: It's the last one of the series. What a beauty.
I did the suryas a and b and the standing sequences. Then urdhva dhanurasana was my focus, nothing else. I feel so close to be able to do it now. But the little step that is still missing seems to be very crucial. Nevertheless a big step forward was done today.
Was it really possible, that I dropped back while on my knees? It was possible and hands arrived the floor and could prevent that the head touched the floor. I have still Adrenalin in my blood, I'm trembling. Now I am hot to do this pose, hot to come up and drop down while standing.
Pranayama and meditation now, to cool down.
Picture: It's a postcard from South Africa. I have a huge collections of postcards.
I read: The African Elephant is the largest land mammal in the world. Big bulls can weigh up to 7000 kg and reach a height of 3-4 metres at the shoulder. They consume up to 300 kg of fodder daily.
Up at 8, this was not so bad. I prepared a cup of coffee for myself and sat down at the table in the kitchen. My eyes were not yet ready to do anything, they hurt a bit. It was a bit early for them.
Usually I drink my first cup of coffee while checking my emails. It was so meditative to sit in the kitchen this morning, doing nothing, but sitting and drinking black coffee. It was silent. From time to time E. stopped at the table and sipped from my coffee.
I will enjoy this last day at home. It will end with a dinner with friends in "our" Greece restaurant. Late at night I will watch:"I am a celebrity, get me out of her."
I make such a fuss, because I start working again on Monday after 7 months, it starts getting embarrassing.
Most amazing was that the mother of B., age 77 made phone calls from time to time with her mobile phone: business phone calls. She is still the owner of a drivers licence school and very successful with it.
Work is part of life and I am convinced it can be satisfying to work.
It's "only" important to find the right "activity", the right place.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
(Who Cares? by Ramesh S. Balsekar, page 47)
"There is only doing - happening - no individual doer!" (page 63)
To witness what is happening is the only thing we can do. This is the liberation.
There seems to be an agreement among the masters:
You are not your body.
You are not your thoughts.
You are not your feelings.
You are pure consciousness.
First find out what you are not. Find out what remains.
Will the practicing of asanas help to know what I am not?
Or do the asanas only prepare me for meditation?
There are more questions than answers.
PS: Ashtanga yoga is not only asanas. Ashtau means Eight. Usually one speaks of the eight limbs of Ashtanga yoga: Yama, niyama, asanas, pranayama, pratyahama, dharana, dhyana, samadhi.
(I know, to use these sanskrit words is awful.)
PSS: I have not seen one single person who got "enlightend" because of practicing yoga. Practicing yoga might have an influence on the health, it might influence the psyche for the better as well. For a deeper understanding of this world and oneself other gurus must be asked (my humble opinion):
My favourite men with great answers are: Ramesh S. Balsekar, Osho, Jed McKenna.
I will have luncheon with the ladies form the recruitment firm. They are both very nice people.
Between lunch and dinner must be time for my yoga practice.
In the evening I am invited to a birthday party by my friend B..
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I am so thankful to have this Mysore class with B.. I missed it. At least once a week I need it.
The adjustments were great. I loved it to have a concentrated practice. I am fed up with my strolls during my practice. It is possible for me to practice the whole series, that's what I saw today again.
Urdhva dhanurasana: Better, better. I still need about 4 days (or less) till I will drop back on my own. Oh, just a joke. But perhaps it will happen sooner than I dare to imagine. Focus for the next 4 days will be this most exciting pose with the lovely name urdhva dhanurasana. Smile.
PS: Pashasana was better, too.
PSS: Time to watch: I am a celebrity, get me out of here.
My first 3 morning pages I wrote the 1st January 2000. I write with a pen in a journal. The own handwriting tells me a lot about my feelings, my state of being. Sometimes I cannot even read what I've written, sometimes my handwriting is so clear and simple that I think someone has written them who has just learned to write. Another advantage is that you can take your journal with you in a cafe for instance. You can write where ever you are. And: If you don't write with a pen from time to time you will also loose this ability. It's an important aspect.
What I like about it? I started writing because of a personal crisis. Does something like a "personal crisis" exist, I just wonder. Please start writing when you feel absolutely happy.
During the 8 years of daily writing I faced difficult life situations, but most life situations were more than pleasant. Writing helps me to make difficult situation easier, because the writing process helps me to understand. Solutions often arise at the horizon. It helps me to make pleasant events even more pleasant, because when writing it down it is as if the event happens a second time.
Writing helped me to see some peculiarities of my conditioning. In sum it made me happier. Amazing is that I got bored to write down what bothered me during a day. I prefer to write what is funny and interesting. It's a cleaning process for the soul, like a shower.
I have a special journal. At the end of every month I write on one page what happened:
For January 2009 this will look like that:
- got new job in an American company for 14 months, I am curious and excited
- joined facebook
- struggle with urdhva dhanurasana
- With E. and me is everything OK.
- Like watching: I am a celebrity, get me out of here.
- General feeling: optimistic, powerful
That way I have an overview. All these keywords tell me something. In case that I want to reread something I'd find it. You can perhaps imagine that I have already a lot of full journals on my shelf. I never wanted to reread anything, only the book with the monthly page I open sometimes. Then I think, OMG, how exciting is my life, always something new happens.
There are a lot of topics, I don't want to write publicly and I think I also shouldn't do this. Soon I will get to know new colleagues, I like to write about people, but it is not my right to do this publicly.
I don't want to miss my morning pages. They turned me from a late riser to an early riser. Firstly I wrote these pages, later I added my yoga practice. Both help me to manage my life in a smarter and more elegant way than I would be able without these tools.
Try it, you won't regret it, it's an inner journey, a journey to yourself.
PS: Please don't write only when you feel bad. Write when you feel fantastic, even though you need some discipline to do so. If you don't write about nice events you will soon get the feeling that your whole life is difficult. So do yourself the favour write about all aspects of your life.
Another trap: Know: to live is more important than to write.
Now I am up and at present:
I need a bulb, I have to buy a new akku for my mobile phone.
I have to do my accounting 2008 (I'm sure I mentioned this already)
This evening I will go to a Mysore class.
If everything is done in the evening, I am glad.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I knew that the last pose, the relaxation pose will become more and more important in regard to my new challenges. So I set my timer for 5 min (only) and tried to relax. I had to realize how difficult it is for me to relax even after an exhausting practice.
A note on virabadrasana a and b: The poses have almost the same name, but they are totally different asanas. Virabadrasana a is a balancing pose in combination with a slight back bending. Virabadrasana b is a balancing pose in combination with hip opening.
Time to dress, time to see a friend.
I wished I had still some time to meditate, but I am already a bit in a hurry.
PS: Greetings to my reader from Spain. :)
For me it is not enough to stay at home doing the laundry and to schlep my body once a day to the yoga mat. In sum I am looking forward to my new job. I like to be challenged.
I am glad that I found this attitude.
Then it was my turn. I applied for the police clearance certificate. Within 1 min I was out of the office again, I had to pay 13 Euro and that was it.
It's between snow and rain, which came down from the sky. I had my umbrella with me and went to the post office to mail my letter to the tax office. This is done now, too.
I found a birthday present for my dear friend B.. On Wednesday I'm invited for a party. She wanted an egg-timer and I found a very beautiful one.
The reservation for Friday in our Greece restaurant is made, too. We'll meet friends there.
My working contract arrived. Now I can sign it. I will make another appointment with the ladies from the recruitment firm to return the signed contract. I will invite them for dinner. I know they like it.
Time for yoga.
At five I will meet another friend in "our" Italian restaurant. What a life.
I'm prolific today, I like it. Energy level is high. I feel powerful. :)
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tomorrow is another day, but also tomorrow I won't practice in the morning. I have to go to the authorities to request for a police clearance certificate. Afterwards I will have time to practice.
Stress level goes up already, due to my new job:
What can I do, I wonder to feel more relaxed?
- I already adjusted my evening routine to the new life rhythm that will come soon. Big body washing ceremony is now in the evening.
- I have to get up a bit earlier every day. Tomorrow it shall be 7 a.m. Soon it will be 5 a.m.
- I try to imagine my new routines: up at 5, coffee and journaling till 5:45, yoga till 7, shower and meditation till 7:30, till 8 I must be dressed, because at 8 I must close the front door from outside. That's it.
- To go through accounting vocabulary would be good, too. I've already started with it.
- I also must instruct my bf to go to bed silently, because I will go to bed much earlier than he.
- OMG is that all exciting again.
My letter to the tax office is written. I only have to mail it.
I have still time to file my tax declaration 2008 within this week.
Laundry is done, grocery shopping, too. Coffee for the next week is most important.
Working contract will arrive tomorrow probably. Then I can make an appointment with the ladies from the recruitment company. I have to await the mail tomorrow.
The evenings on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday are already planned: meeting friends, yoga.
I still need a birthday present for B.
Yoga? I can still practice. It's not yet dark here.
Main activity for tomorrow: Taxes 2008
To set the alarm clock is like a joke. I switch it off and go on sleeping.
Now it's 10.
It's OK, as it is my last week at home and I will enjoy everything.
Primary series today. ahhhhh.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
It was very good that I didn't make these famous breaks, where I stroll around in my room. I remained on my mat. When I felt exhausted, I stopped till I wanted to go on, but I remained on my mat. Once my bf wanted a kiss me, I interrupted my practice, but I think this was OK.
From ushtrasana on I used a strap around my legs to keep them parallel. That way I cannot cheat myself. I repeated ushtrasana twice. Repetition is good. The second time the pose is usually better than the first time. I tried a modification. I stretched one arm in direction of the wall. Then the other arm. I think this is a good preparation for kapotasana. I got this idea in the new book by Sweeney
Kapotasana: I pushed myself up from the floor first. Today I also arched backwards from kneeling position. My hands touched the wall behind me. I stayed a bit, but only a bit. To stay longer and to breathe deeply is what I intent (next time).
I had to persuade myself to do urdhva dhanurasana. The pose is more stable now than it used to be. I stayed longer in this pose than usual. I walked the hands towards the feet. I held the pose as long as I could. Then I arched back from standing pose. No way to drop back on my own. Don't worry, be happy.
Relaxing pose: I set my timer for 5 min. Tomorrow I will set it for 10 min. The ability to relax is important, especially when I think of my new job.
Most important today: Bf must help me to copy my accounting software to the new PC.
All other activities are of minor importance.
Time to write my private journal, practicing yoga will follow. My focus when I do yoga will be a sense of effortlessness, a relaxed face.
A movie-house usher was astonished to see a big, brown bear sitting in the front row, munching peanuts.
'Say, you!' he shouted. 'You're a bear! What are you doing in here?
''Well, I enjoyed the book so much,' replied the bear, 'I wanted to see the picture too!'
Saturday, January 17, 2009
1. It's still cleaning time here.
2. As a preparation for my new job, I can go through finance vocabulary. I like to do things like that.
3. To buy some vegetables for the dinner tomorrow. I want to cook.
4. Today I am invited for dinner. :) Oh, my life is hard, I am so busy. (irony)
1. Writing a letter to the tax office
2. Making my bf copying my accounting software to the new PC.
3. When this is done I can start with my tax declaration 2008.
1. I have to submit a police clearance certificate to the new company. I have to go to the authorities to file a motion. Best time is the early morning.
2. Focus shall be the tax declaration 2008.
3. Dinner with friends in the evening. (This is fun, a reward)
Must reread this.
Seven months I was out of the working process. It was a huge gift.
It is good to play an active role in society, to do something, I know this and at the same time a bit of fear is there, too. But joy and curiosity is there, too. It's a gift that I can work again. I know this. It keeps me young and smart.
The week off is limited, that will intensify the lived time.
The time in the company I will start working for is limited, too. For the next 14 months I will be there. To know that something has an end usually makes it easier to enjoy it.
Time for the second cup of coffee.
I have done nothing to give my life this new direction. It really all happened. I have a website online, that's all. This website exits for some years. I made 1 phone call, yes I think I did this, but that was it. Amazing. Relax and all is coming, I think.
It's cleaning marathon today. I won't be alone. Thanks.
Friday, January 16, 2009
I saw my colleagues today and my working place and another manager. Everything is really OK, fine, nice, positive, whatever.
Hungry, I'm hungry again. For those who do not know what vegan people eat. I will make for myself a risotto (convenient product) with a green salad with dried tomatoes (I will make a sauce with olive oil, citron, salt, pepper and herbs). To stand in front of my oven and to stir the risotto is exactly the right activity that I need now.
Yoga comes later. I feel too hungry. I know this already. Interviews need all my concentration and energy. Afterwards one thought occupies my mind: I want to eat. I want to eat.
Bed is made, too, I find back to my routine.
Today is a good test how far away the company really is. The underground train leaves the main station at 8:20. I will leave my home here at 8. In the morning every 10 min shall come another train. I will check today if this is true. Then I may perhaps take the train at 8:30. Within 30 min I should be in the company.
This is all so exciting. Not the commuting stuff, but what will come. What will I have to do, the new colleagues, everything.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I just got a phone call. Tomorrow in the morning will be another meeting with another manager. But a decision is made, I was told. In about 14 days I can start working in that company out of Munich.
I said: I want it, too.
I thought the whole day, those who are first will get me. I am so impatient, I cannot wait.
This job means that I will have to work for 12 months in a row without vacations. No trips around the world. Nothing. But after 12 months............
Yes, I am excited, now. It's always the same.
As I am a person with both feet on the earth, I know very well what is important. I face the facts. I need cash. A girl needs cash. And that is what will come in again soon. Sigh.
(PS: I also know that only when the contract is signed I can be sure. I'm optimistic today.)
The surya namaskaras are movements to make the body warm to avoid injuries. They come first.
Besides this exist:
forward bending asanas
back bending asanas
reversal asanas (like headstand)
The grade of difficulty might be different.
But that's all.
When you want to create a balanced series for yourself practice all different types of asanas. Twists neutralize asanas. So when you want to do forward bending and back bending in one session, do twists in between. After a deep forward bending a slighter back bending is supposed to follow. The vinyasas in the Ashtanga system guarantee this. That's all you need to know to create your own series. Have fun and don't forget to breathe - deeply.
I did ushtrasana twice to have a good preparation for urdhva dhanurasana.
I wanted to stay in ud as long as possible. So I pressed myself in this pose and remained and breathed deeply. 12 months ago the pose was not so advanced as it is now. I must see this.
I also arched back from standing pose and tried to remain as long as possible. With each breath my body arched back a bit more. The gravity really helps. I started sweating and my heart beat faster when I did this pose.
Only slowly I could do paschimottanasana after these deep back bending.
Whatever, however. It's always good when doing some asanas, some vinyasas, deep breathing.
A candle had to go, too, I broke the candle holder a few weeks ago. I won't substitute it, I have enough other candle holders.
Do I have the energy to go through my scarves? Yes, I have.
I work on my wool now and my knitting projects. What to keep, what to discard? When I keep a knitting project I have to finish it. Point. Be radical, I think, don't burden yourself with unfinished projects, with wool, and learn only to buy what you need and what you can handle. Away with the rest. Yes, this wool was expensive and it's beautiful wool, but it's too much. To let go, to have space and to be light-hearted is better than to have a collection of almost everything.
When I get a "no" from both companies, I will have to go on with my activities, like writing to ads in the newspaper, or putting an ad in it myself. I can talk to people and so on.
If I get a "no" from one company and a "yes" from the other company, I have an easy situation. I take what I get.
The problem is when I get a "yes" from both companies. Is that likely? The one company hesitated to hire me. It seemed firstly as if I should start working already on Monday. But then the tax adviser was supposed to do 2 further interviews. Their problem with my CV is that I've changed jobs so often. In the other company this is exactly what qualifies me. Quickly I shall overtake the work of the colleagues and that's what I had to do every time when I changed jobs.
Time for yoga. How I love it. I have really another day where I can work on my poses as long as I can and want. It's a gift from heaven.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
It's sitting on the floor in front of the TV. Then doing asanas. Especially the forward bending poses are suitable: paschimotanasana, ardha baddha padma paschimottanasana and so on. Asana can be hold as long as wished. Dristhi is the TV.
TV-yoga is still possible today, but nothing else.
Picture: The picture is also related to my past. During my first years in Berlin I had a flat with a tile stove. In order to heat I had to buy coal and logs. In the shop on the picture I bought these ingredients. How I appreciate my heater here.
(Finally again a post on yoga. Sigh, I'm so distracted.)
One thing became sure for me. My decluttering process will go on. I just went through my teas and I could throw away at least 7 tea bags. I also said good-bye to that vase I got before Christmas from a shop. I don't need it. I just threw away the book on a fat woman who struggles to loose weight. I'm not fat, I am the one who can give hints as I am slim. Away with it. There is still a lot to do. Action. Action.
At home I prepared for myself vegetable spring rolls with a green salad and mushrooms. Now I'm no more hungry, but the energy is still not back.
I'm very optimistic that I get that job. I also asked if I could come at 9:30. They accepted. Smile. Then I will have time for yoga in the morning, despite the commuting time, which is about 40 min one way.
In the beginning of next week I will get the answers. I will get 2 answers on Monday. So the beginning of next week is rather exciting.
I had so nice words for my blog in my mind, but now I'm empty. One thing I remember. It's not beautiful to mix the languages. It's very much the custom here to use English words when speaking German. I do it much too often. An example: one woman said: Wir haben eine Legal-Abteilung. I do not even know how to write it. In German language we have a nice word for it: Rechtsabteilung.
Time to clean the kitchen.
Bf is probably already in England. He will stay till Friday night. I will have to watch TV the disgust-programme alone. It's also fun to watch it alone.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I could write about my next interview, I could write about Ashtanga tradition or that I start feeling hungry...........
Monday, January 12, 2009
Business cards are handy.
I put make up on my face not too much, but a bit.
I sprinkled perfume (Zen) on my neck.
My hair is open.
My glasses are cleaned.
I sit here, as always I'm ready too early. I have to wait another 30 minutes till it makes sense to leave the house. It would have been good to read tax laws today, but I preferred to do yoga. Today I will speak with someone with expertise. This makes the interview more difficult, more exciting. Perhaps it's fun. I like to meet new people. Yeah, I think right now I found the right attitude. Still 20 minutes till I will leave the house.
The standing poses were all done. I think that trikonasana is an underestimated pose. It is a rather difficult pose.
I bent forward and tried to keep the chest open. Monday is the forward bending day.
The breath was my focus, I focused to match the breathing with the movement. I think this is more important than the perfect pose.
Mari c and d: I reached the wrist on both sides. Ambitious made me doing it. My face is probably not relaxed when I do it.
Urdhva dhanurasana was done, too. When I can stretch the arms I am happy and I could stretch them. I also arched back from standing position.
My practice helped me to forget the interview that I will have in about 2 hours. I'm rather nervous. I have palpitations. I have still some time. I will use it for meditation. I'm so nervous. It's awful. Heart be quit, cool down. Every outcome is fine.
Thank you Osho for the reminder. The past is over and I will stop flipping through my old pictures right now.
The future has not yet come. That's true, too. It's not worth to have these palpitations already now, because of the interview this evening.
Be in the present. That's the solution for my current issues.