Of course, I practiced this morning. I want to use my energy in a positive way. To practice means I use it for myself, I sweated and I loved my practice. Back bending today.
Yesterday I realized how important parallelism is: the shoulders shall be in line, parallel, but also the hips, the feet. When practicing I check this now. The mind needs a task, too.
I dropped back into urdhva dhanurasana, once only. Use it or lose it, I repeat myself, but it is so true, use it or lose it.
In the morning my body is stiffer than in the evening. But what I really appreciate is that the stomach is empty at that early time. There is also no air in it, to use the bandhas is pleasant.
I am relaxed now. The practice always is also good for the mood. The here and now exists. Focus is what I exercise when practicing yoga. Nothing shall be important when I am on my mat, but if my breath is even, if I use the bandhas, how my asanas look and so on.
This is also part of my life:
M interrupted me: You were so smart and you have done nothing with your life.
I realized at once, this sentence needed time till it was so precise, so injuring. Also the melody of the sentence, the lied compassion that was expressed was exercised. I was able to breath, I was able not to answer. "But I am healthy, this is something." "But I can drop back into urdhva dhanurasana, this is something." These sentences came into my mind later as a possible answer. But I know this is nothing. I am glad that I said nothing. Now my mind has a task: to make this voice inaudible, sending it into the past. What injures is not the contents, but the intention to injure me, the rejection, perhaps even unconscious hate, but perhaps also envy. Perhaps it is also only an expression of the own frustration. Who knows. I remember: Who am I? A collection of memories, conditioning. Who can injure me, if I am nothing else but a collection of thoughts that change all the time. Observe and go on with your life ,I tell myself. How awful must someone feel who says such a sentence is another thought that comes up.
Time to do a to do list:
Installing accounting software and preparing the tax (it is not yet done, shame on me).
Booking a flight to Paris for October (chocolate fair). Enough activities.