I had to pick up a book from the mail station. On my way to that mail box I wondered how I was feeling. But I don't feel aggressively on my side. I am bored by such a behaviour. My goal is to stay in that company for the next 10 months for money reasons. That's it. Not that I do not see what's going on. The time that I will be there is limited and I simply don't want to allow other people to spoil my life. I like it that I am so successful at it.
Next Monday will be the next meeting: The 2 colleagues and the boss and me shall meet, and we shall discuss so long till friendliness will be there (goal of the manager). I cannot imagine this. I also don't know what to say as I am not interested in the behaviour of these colleagues. No I won't become ill, but I want to be somewhere else on Monday. This I already know. But I have to be in that show and I have to play the role of the victim. Not a role I like, I also don't feel like this. What to say, what to say during such a meeting. This is awful. I want to avoid it, but I also know I shouldn't avoid it. Perhaps it is entertaining. No, I am not that cool re this confrontation meeting.
Focus, I know how to focus. During working hours I focus on the work that has to be done. And here I have so much to do, too. I am relaxed (not when I think of next Monday, but who is telling me to think of next Monday.)
I cannot help but think that the months that I work in such companies will find an end. How and what I will do then remains in the dark. I don't know. These new events are more or less a message for me, to collect my energies and to create something else.
I didn't stop at the new Martini bar 3 houses away. My mind must be clear.
Time to go to bed and to dream something sweet.