Thursday, June 25, 2009

2 days left

After the sauna yesterday I slept very well. I woke up relaxed.
This morning I did surya namaskaras, my body was soft. There was time for the standing poses. Then time was over. I sat down in padmasana for a while and bowed forward. That was it. I regret it that I haven't been more disciplined and that I was too late on my mat. I am so prone to dawdle.

I counted: 5 people at my current job simply don't like me (this is nicely said). And they are not professional enough to hide their aversion. Simple politeness doesn't seem possible for them. They wish me away. If a mistake occurs (i.e. a stamp on an invoice where there shouldn't be a stamp), it was always me, even though I do not stamp now. It is amazing how important such tiny things are. A stamp on an invoice that shouldn't be there, I mean to be realistic, this is nothing, nothing. Of course I cannot blame our apprentice for this. She is helping us. So I observe the aggression. I start doubting if I really like to stay there another 9 months. A lot of people would be glad if I went. No, I will stay another few months. I can change my mind every day. My ability to suffer is rather great. And I also have to survive. I only have to care financially for me, and it is such a struggle from time to time, this drives me crazy.
I shouldn't forget the nice colleagues.
And the situation is a great motivation to work on alternatives. Another company is not an alternative.
(Oh, what a negative post in the morning., after a wonderful relaxing evening. It is as it is, there are always ups and downs. I know very well, that we only know what relaxation is because we know how it feels not to be relaxed. We only know what joy is because we also know the opposite.)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ursula,
Why not look around for another possible job while you still have this one...you never know what might come up and it could be so great to leave like that :) I know times are tough but you never know.
You are a Taurus and sometimes Taurus people get a little stuck and don't like change...
Positive Traits: practical, reliable, patient, persistent, determined, strong-willed, solid, affectionate, warm-hearted and trustworthy with a firm sense of values

Negative Traits: possessive, jealous, lazy, self-indulgent, greedy, boring, unoriginal, stubborn and inflexible in opinion

Likes: permanency, stability, luxury, comfort, pleasure and good food

Dislikes: disruption, being rushed, being indoors, being pushed too hard and any break in routine

This is from a great site:
http://www.novareinna.com/constellation/taurus.html

Have a great day and maybe it's just that your yogi energy is too good for those who dislike you.

Karen said...

Why don't they like you? Or maybe you've said so and I haven't read that?

Tracy said...

If you ever want to talk...and have Skype...I would love to!
Keep that beautiful chin of yours Up! (that is a western saying ;^)
You are Loved and Adored by more people than you even realize~xo

Ursula said...

Dear Tracy,
I haven't installed skype so far. And E is on a business trip till the 6 or July.

I'd like to talk to you very much, of course. I can call you. Really.

Have a great day.

Ursula said...

Oh anonymous, thank you. It is all true what you write.

Yes stubborn, I want to be there till the end of March. Let's see. I don't know if this shall happen.

All the best.

U

Ursula said...

Hi Karen, in offices we fight for survival. There might be some reasons.

In general I would say, the more similar people are the more they like each other. Perhaps I am only different.

All the best for you, too.