Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I didn't like to be bored on the second last day 2008

Everything was done - the kitchen was clean, clothes were washed and irond, grocery shopping was done. I even practiced yoga. Then I felt bored. The weather didn't invite me to go out.
So, what to do?
I went to my bookshelf. I had read so many spiritual books in the last year and I was curious how I'd found some books that I've read earlier that year. The book by Albert Cohen "Heaven and earth" fell into my hand and I read a bit in it. I remember that I was fascinated when I read the book. But now I cannot believe anymore that a clear intention and a very strong wish is necessary to gain liberation. My newly gained knowledge more or less convinced me that not so much can be done. Our genes, our conditioning, other people, arbitrarily upcoming thoughts affect our life much more than our volition, our intention, our wishes. It's also difficult to take responsibilty. Who shall be responsible? Isn't it rather that life happens. Isn't the freeing aspect the one that makes us understand that we are not the doer.
I've read books by authors that have totally different views of liberation. Perhaps I read a bit too superficially this evening, and I misunderstood Cohen. But one thing disappeared very quickly: boredem.

2 comments:

Flo said...

I love books. I buy too many but they end up getting read eventually right :)

Ursula said...

I never found it a waste of money when I bought a book. I love reading.

:)