I am glad that I meditated this morning. I had no time for yoga today because I got up too late.
I am one of these woman who starts cleaning the rooms before the cleaning woman is coming and that was what I did after breakfast. I had help today. And I need help. My decision not to do everything on my own was a good decision. My bf was in a cafe eating cakes and drinking coffee, while we both were fighting dust and chalk and mess and.......The difference can be seen now. My rooms are cleaner now and more beautiful. They are not yet in a state that really satisfies me, but everything is so much better. I can breathe again.
I also tried to exercise to let go: I decluttered. I even managed it to throw out a self-made pull-over that didn't fit. Hours after hours I was knitting it, but so what. It doesn't fit. Away with it. It was not easy to let go. The wool was so expensive and all the work that I had put into it. Nevertheless I think it was a good decision. It had no use, it only took space away. In India I had one suitcase and I did miss only 1 more towel. I want to create space, emptiness inside me and around me. The process is initiated and it must go on. Let go, let go, don't cling to anything, that's what I think all the time. It is easy to throw out garbage, it is not so easy to throw out things I attach emotions. Here starts the work.
At exactly 4 p.m. the phone rang, bf wanted to come home. He knew that we would stop working at that time. We did grocery shopping together and I prepared a noodle salad. It was average, the wine was very good. Of course I wonder if it makes sense to sit down for meditation when I have 2 glasses of best red wine in my blood. But I think it makes sense. I even suspect that it will be easier to sit.
Of course I miss that I haven't practiced yoga today, but sometimes there are other priorities. I loved my space in India, I knew for a very long time that I wanted to change how I live, now I have started to create space again. To create a vacuum is so important, only then new things can happen. That's what I am doing now, I create vacuums, I practice to let go (in all areas of my life). What counts is the moment, this moment. Let go, let go.