Tuesday, July 01, 2008

A most stupid question

"Do you think you will ever get a job?"

And such a question I was asked on my first day off (motivation: care!?????)

Even worse: Feelings of anger/aggression arose in me. I couldn't let go.
I have no time for such nonsense. I cannot influence others, but please myself.
Nothing learned so far.

I'm so disappointed that I gave others so much influence on myself. Why not surrender this energy? I know I can do it. But not always, seems so.

Generosity has many faces. It can mean to give money to someone needy. It can also mean to feel mercy with myself. OK mercy with myself. I mean I'm brought up as a Catholic. If I regret enough, sins will be forgiven.

Relaxed again. Oh, up and down, nothing stands still.

Ha, I have to hurry. B. is waiting for me.

(It's interesting how writing about events changes the same. Everything is again so ridiculous in the best sense. Above question became something to laugh about.)

I'm so relaxed, in such a good mood, the last thing that I need now is to become fearful.

2 comments:

Marie said...

Hi Ursula -
Oh, your day sounds wonderful. Yoga, Nap, Shopping!, and idle chat with people who give you worries. Isn't that life??

Congratulations on moving into a new phase. I'm so glad that you are enjoying your time, and even if you don't enjoy it all, that's a type of enjoyment too. You know?

How long is bf in Paris? When do your travels begin? Are you still going somewhere (was it Norway?) before India? When are you coming to the States?

Best,
Marie

Ursula said...

Hi Marie,

It's really nice to have time.
Even though I do not have that much time.

On Thursday very early in the morning I will travel to Paris. I will be back on Monday. And on Tuesday we will travel to Norway.
Busy, busy. :)

After my Indian trip, that is after the 24th of September, the US is on the schedule (so far). Everything can change, you know.

Best,

Ursula