Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Dangers

There is the danger that time is running through the fingers when not having to leave the home at a fixed time. I got up at six, but I got nervous. I thought of my long to do list. I put dirty clothes into the washing machine. I was dawdling. Nervously I was searching my ticket to France.

But no, I didn't let go the time that way. I didn't like to spoil this wonderful morning. Trust, I told me, you will be able to do all the things that are necessary to be done.

So I put my cushion on the floor and started with 10 min pranayama. Lately I read that pranayama means developping energy. And so it is. I felt full of energy afterwards. Ready to meditate.

Meditation (10 min today): I modified a bit what I did the last weeks. Not with each and every inhaling and not with each and every exhaling I imagined the word "I am" "I am" "I am" and so on . I sat quit on my cushion, when thoughts came up, then I thought "I am" and not all the time. I observed the breath, I became conscious of my face and relaxed it. A pigeon flew on my balcony. Usually I shoo these birds away and the impulse to shoo it away came up. But I remained almost motionless in lotus pose. I heard the pigeon, but I did nothing. It deepened my meditation. Then if flew away and it was silent again in the middle of a big city. Not only once I looked at my meditation watch.

Pranayama prepared me for meditation, and meditation prepared me for yoga. And that's what I'm going to do now. I don't mind how long my to do list is. Yoga first. I have priorities.

2 comments:

A Bhakti Yogi said...

Dear Ursula,
It will definitely take some time to be comfortable with the unstructured time you now have. Don't be too hard on yourself. You've earned the right and time to "float" a bit. Soak in your practice whenever you do it. It doesn't have to be "on time" anymore...just as long as it is :)Even if you practice at noon or in the evening sometimes. Or not at all. It's all good.

It took me months to adjust all this when I left my job after 21 years. It feels very unsettling at first but that's when you need to apply the other yoga principles the most :)
Enjoy and remember India is soon!
Have a joyful, peaceful day!
ABY

Ursula said...

Dear ABY,

You are so right. Thank you very much for your comment.

To enjoy is important, to fly. Yes.

Imagine, I have only 3 days here in Munich and then I'm somewhere else in that world. Cannot believe it.

Have a wonderful time.
I enjoy it very much to get so wonderful feed-back.

Ursula