Friday, June 13, 2008

A title, a title, a title please, I have no idea for a title today

Pranayama and meditation were very good today. This means I was focused. I didn't wait for the end. I was in the the presence. Now. What helps is that it has become easier and easier to sit in lotus pose. Nothing bothered me.

There was almost no time for my yoga practice. A few suryas, a few standing poses and a quick closing sequence. No discontentment was felt. It was not much what I did today, but the quality was high. Breath was deep. Soon I will have more time.

At midnight it rang at my door. Oh, I had forgotten to pull out the key. My bf was back. I ran to the door, opened the door, saw him and ran back to my bed. Then I heard him saying: I want a kiss. I ran back to the door again, gave him a kiss, I ran back to my bed again, and continued sleeping. My bf is back, I can hear him sleeping now, his breath is deep and even.

Today at nine o'clock we will have a meeting. The boss will divide my work among my colleagues. Poor colleagues. I have to be on time, I'm always on time. But today I will have to be on time, too.

A bit philosophy? So often we blame others for our feelings. Even the weather can be a reason for our bad mood or good mood. On the other hand we think we have a will and we make decisions regarding our own life. Isn't it a contradiction? Either I blame others or circumstances for my feelings or I am the one who decides how to feel. And perhaps nothing is true. Others cannot be responsible for our feelings and thinking, but we have no free will either, because laws are in action. Laws which are so strong like gravity. To see these laws is difficult. To go with them makes life easy, to fight them difficult.
Back to awareness. Everything can be observed. To be a witness of the own life, of life itself is , yeah, what is it? It's what I will do today again. From being an accountant to being the witness of how it feels, how it is to act as an accountant.

Indian visa: The Indian visa form is really simple. It's so easy that I think they want to have tourists. But yesterday there was no ink in my printer anymore. Everywhere are these little stones, which tell me: Nevertheless you will manage it to go to India.

What else: I work only 8 hours now. So I was at home at 6 yesterday. I had still enough energy to do chores. To work more than 8 hours does not only mean that I have one hour less for myself, but I'm also much more exhausted then.

This is the question to my unconsciousness: What can I do to make a lot of money within less working hours?

Oh, and now I have a title: A mixture of everything and nothing.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi U -
I loved your title. It instantly made me laugh!

I also like your philosophy bit. It is an interesting question to decide whether one has total will or one is subject to laws beyond control.
I think it's sort of both which is confusing.

In Eat,Pray,Love, Elizabeth Gilbert writes:
"We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses - one foot is on the horse called Fate, the other on the horse called Free Will. And the question you have to ask every day is - which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?" p177

When I'm faced with a perplexing or difficult situation, I try to use this bit of Yoga wisdom: willful determination with non-concern for results. (I'll look up the Sanskrit later.)

Hope your day is awesome, and your horses gallop in smooth unison.
Marie

Ursula said...

Dear Marie,
I like the quote. I will probably have time to read the book when we are in Norway. I'm really curious about the book.

The book with the signature in it is too precious to me for taking it to India.

I'm on young wild horses, dear Marie, they jump, the next second they stand still and then they gallop again. Everything is open again. I like my current situation.

I hope you see opportunities, possibilities in your life, too.

Later more. Ursula