Monday, March 17, 2008

It was not....

......how I wished I started my day.

Bf went to bed a bit later than me, a bit after 10 p.m.. It's difficult for him to be quite when going to bed. I woke up again and I had difficulties to sleep in. This morning he had to get up at 4 a.m. He had to fly to the Netherlands. I woke up. too. At 5 a.m. then I was very tired. I wrote my morning pages and meditated. I know it, when I keep my eyes closed during meditation, I am so tired that it is better to go to bed again. And that' s what I did. I gave me another hour sleep. No yoga, only a few surya namaskaras a. I
have to go to bed earlier. It expects me a 10 hours day at least. And this won't change for the next weeks. I see that I won't be able to do all the stuff that must be done. Catastrophe grows in front of me. And the week has only 4 days. The next week has only 4 days, too. It might have all a larger sense. Fact is I feel pressure, a lot of pressure. And then this awful tiredness. I could cry.

Thoughts during meditation circled around the job and my bf. At least I could sit. I was able to try to observe and not to act panically.

I want to lie under bed stuff, I want to have it warm and I want to sleep, sleep, sleep.

5 comments:

Bettina said...

sorry to hear that the situation at work is so difficult.
But we all can only do what is possible for us. We can work ten hours a day and give our best and that's it. If this is not enough then it is not your fault but there has something gone wrong with managment, planning etc.

Anonymous said...

hang in there ursula - you kick ass.

alfia said...

My philosophy is "when you need to sleep, you gotta sleep!". I know that if I am sleep-deprived I am no good anyway. So do not feel bad, enjoy it!

Dirk said...

Hi Ursula,

kind of funny but is was quite similar for me today. My wife came home from a friend in KA (about 40 minutes to drive) at 02:00 this morning. I woke up only for a minute or so but also had difficulties in getting up at 05:00.
In addition I am suffering from lower back pain since a week or so. I only did some suns and some restorative poses.
Now I'm sitting in the office an hope this working day will come to an end and I can go to bed as soon as possible.

Have a nice day and a a good sleep this night.

Namaste, Dirk

Ursula said...

Thanks for the nice comments.

Not having enough sleep is awful.
I have to go to bed early.

Ohhhhhh, how good.