This morning I leaned again against the doorframe of the balcony door. It was already bright outside. I was drinking my puh errhh tea, looking at the tree in the backyard, that showed already traces of spring. A light green could be seen.
Meditation was great today, I was so quite. Breath was quite and deep.
I hadn't slept much last night. It started that I went to bed too late and then I couldn't sleep. I forced myself to stay in bed and to breath quitely. I think between 4 and 5 I slept then. A bit less sleep for a day which will end at 9 p.m.
Still leaning against the doorframe I thought of yesterday's lesson.
More and more I see how less influence I have even regarding my own life. This frustrates me and I sense some fainting. I fear to loose my job and that I cannot do anything against it i.e. I start clinging to it. :) Worked till 7 p.m. yesterday.
Yesterday I got an email. I couldn't make a decision how I wanted to react when it would happen. But cosmos delivered the most elegant solution. ( I got a wrong email adress, life cannot be funnier or am I sarcastic now?). It teached me to be quite to lean back, to stay relaxed, to observe. The cosmos knows better what is good for me. It's not necessary to make decisions, decisions are already made (without asking me).
To go on - for a long time this was the key word for Jed McKenna. I have the feeling as if I step into his footsteps. To go on can really be a guidepost. No, I do not give up that fast. I go on.
No yoga today, but I will go to a Mysore class this evening.
Oh, the weather report tells me that it will be stormy here, but inside I'm quite, full of trust. Whatever will happen, I will welcome it.