Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Wednesday morning

I was in bed at 9:30 p.m. yesterday at night. It's dark at that time already. I slept almost at once. To be in bed so early is a very good start for the spiritual practices next morning.

Sitting meditation: I thought of the corporate tax declaration, the trade declaration, the VAT that I have to do for 15 companies. I thought of the piles of paper on my desk, the annual accounts I have to do in a very short time. I thought of the bank accounts that I have to check, I thought of the accruals I have to do. Finally I thought about sex, but I didn't like that either. I had forgotten the intention of this practice, I got lost in thoughts. Only for a fracture of a second I was capable to see me sitting in lotus pose on the floor on my meditation cushion. A few seconds of awareness happened so. 15 min were over much too fast.

Sunshine experiences stress, I thought.

Ashtanga yoga: When sitting meditation was black, yoga was white. Thoughts disappeared. I had focus. There was not the time for all the asanas, but this was OK. What I did had intensity. I was deep into the asanas and the breath was there all the time. I even lifted me up into urdhva dhanurasana 3 times.
I took the time for the last pose - savasana: let go, let go, let go, I thought. I like it to feel the "hard" floor, when I lie on my back. After a while I rolled my body to the right side. The end.

7 comments:

Marie said...

Hey Ursula -
I just wanted to let you know that I am still reading every day, even when I don't comment.
Even though I don't know you, I have some sense of your personality from your words and your depictions of your life.
It's 9 am here for me, in Southern California. The sun is shining and the day promises to be beautiful. I'm sitting at home because I have no job right now. That's okay, but eventually I want one. So when I read your blog, sometimes I think that you are so lucky, and other times I think that I am. :)
Since you are about 8 hours ahead of us, I hope for you right now that you are coming to the end of a day of work. I hope that you have been productive and find some sincere satisfaction. I hope that your evening is pleasant and relaxing.
Yesterday I came across a Buddhist saying, "Do without doing and everything gets done."
It's the same as in Yoga, huh? You can fight the pose or you can be one with the pose with effort and relaxation at the same time.
Best,
Marie

Ursula said...

Dear Marie,

It was 6 when I had to admit, that also today the papers won the battle. Before leaving the office, I checked my emails and I found your wonderful comment. My mood bettered at once. :)

I'm sure that you will find again a job. Work is part of life. Often jobs are so awful,that we do not like to work at all. But this is the wrong direction. Work can be a lot of fun. I also like challenges. My job is too much at the moment.

Stay cool, this wrote me a friend this morning. Beside the expertise, jobs gives us the opportunity to rethink our attitudes. Yeah, to stay cool, I have to work on it.

I wish you a wonderful day.

Perhaps we work together one day. I consider to go into world trade after this job.

Ursula

Ursula said...

Oh, I wrote too much about me.

Enjoy your "lazy" time, I'm so sure that this won't last an eternity and then you will have to work again.

Hopefully you find something that you like.

Ursula

Marie said...

You're right. I should enjoy my "lazy" time. I do try and often I am successful at just being in the moment and really appreciating it. Other times I am living in the past or the future - you know how it goes!
I push myself to be "productive." But what does that mean exactly? Would a sparkling house and clean laundry and home-cooked meals be sufficient? Must I have a job that brings money? I often use my day time hours to attend yoga class or walk in the park or to write. Is that productive? For example, today I am satisfied because I attended my child's school assembly, waving proudly, and because in a yoga class, I did a good shoulder stand (which I am just learning). But those things enrich only my soul, not my bank account. It is an interesting question that I ponder as I go through my days.

In any case, I am SO glad that your mood brightened, and, no, you did not write too much about yourself!
Marie

annabella said...

I just wanted to say that I read too, although I don't always comment. I really enjoy your writing, and hope that you have a great day tomorrow!

: )

Ursula said...

Oh, thank you very much Annabelle.

Ursula said...

Oh Marie, you have beautiful perfect days. I like it how you live.

(Money can come easily when it's the time. Time is much more luxury than anything else. :))